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How To Talk To Girls...


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#1 JoshT

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Posted 27 April 2007 - 11:24 AM

Yes it may seem waaaay out there, but I would like some general chat about talking with girls. It is obvious that there are some girls here on this forum, so I wouldn't mind any tips from you girls.

But what do us computer geeks talk to girls about? How Intels Quad core price should be coming down soon? I don't think so. I'm pretty sure thats a turn off. Unless they're geeks too, but that's rare. Lol.

So, any tips, experience, or tutorials found on the web?


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#2 jwinathome

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Posted 27 April 2007 - 11:38 AM

I am not a girl firstly....


But how do you feel about women in general...do you respect them? How do you treat your mother...sister?


I am somewhat of a geek, my wife and I had very deep conversations when we first went out. We spoke about family and friends, past experiences.

Of course, you always talk about what you like. Which for you may be computers, but I am sure there are other things you like...movies, etc.

How old are you?

#3 blueandgold04

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Posted 27 April 2007 - 12:15 PM

Always remember that women really appreciate someone who is willing to listen to them. And by that I mean active listening, like nodding your head and asking pertinent questions. I am a guy, and that was something I learned early on.

Also, when you are taking the time to talk to a woman, keep your mind off of sex. Somehow they can smell desperation.

Always compliment women on something pleasant; such as the odor of their perfume/hair, or their shoes. If they have any nice jewelry on, make an inquisitory remark about it. I have been married for 3+ years now to a very beautiful woman, and I am a complete nerd. Go figure. Some things I have learned....

Women associate comfortability with attraction. So the more open they can feel towards communicating with you, chances are they will become more attracted as well.

If you aren't good at starting conversations, just ask a question about the woman and let her take it from there.
"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." -Albert Camus
"Chance favors the prepared mind." -Louis Pasteur
"If a man does his best, what else is there?" -George S. Patton

#4 jwinathome

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Posted 27 April 2007 - 01:12 PM

Women associate comfortability with attraction. So the more open they can feel towards communicating with you, chances are they will become more attracted as well.

If you aren't good at starting conversations, just ask a question about the woman and let her take it from there.



These are two very good points from Blue.

I really think women want to be listened to as he said, and respected for who they really are.

Compliments are very good, but stay clear of pickup lines. haha...really.

#5 blueandgold04

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Posted 27 April 2007 - 01:21 PM

Compliments are very good, but stay clear of pickup lines. haha...really.


That is a good point by jwinathome, women often associate pick-up lines with insincerity. The best conversation starter I have ever found is to introduce yourself, like "Hello, my name is _____." And shake their hand, gently.

And don't worry about being a geek. Many women find intelligence extremely attractive. Just don't try to impress them with your knowledge, cuz then you might bore them. (If you hear crickets, quickly ask her about her favorite color. :thumbsup: )

Oh and always look women in the eye when you first meet them, eye contact is key. Then after the first round of conversation, mention how beautiful her eyes look in the light, with sincerity. :flowers: If you really mean it, it'll put them at ease.

Edited by blueandgold04, 27 April 2007 - 01:29 PM.

"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." -Albert Camus
"Chance favors the prepared mind." -Louis Pasteur
"If a man does his best, what else is there?" -George S. Patton

#6 Che Guevara

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Posted 27 April 2007 - 01:52 PM

Then after the first round of conversation, mention how beautiful her eyes look in the light, with sincerity. smile.gif If you really mean it, it'll put them at ease.


thats definately agreed. don't lie to a girl, like someone else said they smell despiration, but they also smell a lie. Well some of em. In anycase lieing gets you no where so just stick with the truth. When you look in her eyes try to stay looking in her eyes. Be confident women tend to like that so keep your back straight but dont stick your chest out. Over confidence is disgusting.

Here's an experiment, don't think of a girl as a girl. Think of the girl as a person. Don't think of prettyness, don't think of anything but meeting someone new. Girls are just people they aren't above you in any way, even if they want to feel like it. Women and men are equal, so don't think you need to get nervous just because your approaching a girl.

A lot of people (including myself) self conciously resort to the norm of what they learn on a movie or what ever, because they don't know how to act when doing something new. So instead of saying hey I'm gonna be all nervous, say hey theres a nice looking person I'll go say hi and if they don't want to talk to me then who cares they're not worth my time.
Che

"Shoot, coward--you are only going to kill a man." - Che Guevara as he was then murdered as an unarmed prisoner by the Brazilian army aided by the US CIA

#7 cowsgonemadd3

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Posted 27 April 2007 - 02:45 PM

Okay so I am 17 and never had a girlfriend. But it doesnt mean I dont have girls that are friends or dont know how to talk to them. I have a sister so get the news here.

Tech stuff scares them. I saw this girl once with what looked like a FM transmitter(not so geeky as I aint a geek) and asked her if it was one. She did this stare and said "what?". I said nevermind. It turned out it was a battery...

Girls talk a lot man. I mean a lot. Where guys may say 9-10k words a day a girl can talk about 20-30k a day!

As guys bond doing things girls bond talking. I mean guys can bond talking but we like to compete and have fun well so do girls but they talk a lot.

Kinda like they follow each other to the bathroom so they can keep talking. You dont hear guys saying "Hey would you like to go to the bathroom?" to each other often unless they are scared to pee on there own at 18 ha ha.

Girls want respect. And dont be negative and have a I am better than everyone type attitude it seems to be a turn off.

I mean dont treat a girl like a guy but talk to them. Like I said thats how they learn is talking. SO much more than men.

I dont know its really up to the person. Some girls dont talk as much as others. I talk a lot in the day and I am a guy. I never counted my words though.

Girls seem to like just hanging out and you being nice to them. Talking to them makes them happy. You dont have to be scared to talk to them on a personal level. Just act like its a guy. Boyfriend/girlfriend stuff can come later if you to find out you like each other.

Be nice to them. If you give them a quarter for a gumball they will like you so its simple. They dont have 50 cents for a drink buy them one. I have did this for at least one girl and she got very happy because her brother would not give her the money and I did.

I learned to just face the fears(yes us guys are scared to talk to you girls or I was) and sit buy them and talk to them.

I still dont do as good of job as some "player" type kids I know who talk and hug every girl. They dont like just one its all of them. Maybe thats all us guys.

I can get along with girls just fine now by just talking to them. I have been told girls like tall guys maybe that helps me(6'2")

Oh yeah this I think was stated above.
Have confidence. Dont be wimpy and afraid. I mean you can be shy but dont be afraid to be the male. Have confidence in your talk and actions. I mean not too too much but dont be wimpy. Just talk to her as a person and not that super hot girl with the prettiest eyes and form you have ever seen.

Just for fun:
I dont know if this works its like a pickup line/conversation starter
Warning try at your own risk ha ha

Girl:"Where did you come from?" You: The future, and I came all the way back in time to tell you we are in love 100 years from now.

Always remember that women really appreciate someone who is willing to listen to them. And by that I mean active listening, like nodding your head and asking pertinent questions. I am a guy, and that was something I learned early on.


I have heard this from women to. They hate it when we are like drooling over them and not listening to what they have to say and responding back. I mean really take heed to what they are saying and have a good time. Even if you dont want to talk about perfumes or whatever.

Edited by cowsgonemadd3, 27 April 2007 - 02:50 PM.


#8 jgweed

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Posted 27 April 2007 - 04:49 PM

I always think it is a good idea to treat anyone as an end themselves and not as a means. This applies to women especially, who really enjoy being around someone who will treat them as a person first, and as a lady secondly.
Cheers,
John
Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one should be silent.

#9 BlackSpyder

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Posted 27 April 2007 - 05:09 PM

I cant help you with the geeky part of this as Im not really a geek. Im a gearhead. I just know a little about computers. But I can give you tips on women in general and talking to them after living with one for 6 months. Note: Take this advice with a grain of salt and a good sense of humor.

Above all else have some Courage and accept the fact that you will be shot down once or twice

1) Talk about subjects you both enjoy. This is hard but try some of these topics Music, TV, and school.
2) Never ask about how her day went in general. Bad form and too broad a subject matter you will be stuck in a dead end, one sided conversation for hours. Narrow the subject matter down to say Lunch or her first class.
3) Avoid hot button political conversations. Examples are The Flat Tax, the War in Iraq, and American Idol
4)Pay attention to her when shes talking.

Edited by BlackSpyder, 27 April 2007 - 05:09 PM.

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#10 JoshT

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Posted 27 April 2007 - 08:08 PM

I am not a girl firstly....


But how do you feel about women in general...do you respect them? How do you treat your mother...sister?


I am somewhat of a geek, my wife and I had very deep conversations when we first went out. We spoke about family and friends, past experiences.

Of course, you always talk about what you like. Which for you may be computers, but I am sure there are other things you like...movies, etc.

How old are you?

I'm 15, I've got four sisters, and the funny part is, two of them are older and two of them are younger, Yes I do respect them, but I also love to tease them, Well what can I say?

But I've been told over and over, by my mom mostly, that girls will look at me and watch how I treat my sisters, and will see that thats how I would treat her. Which is true.

All of your posts really helped, I'm actually an outgoing kind of person, I was just seeing if what I thought was what everyone else thought.

I have had friends that are girls, and I used to talk to them and hang out without much worry about anything, I wasn't nervous around them, they were the best, and I dunno maybe I've just forgot how to talk to girls again.

Anyways.

@cowsgonemadd3

I think girls like tall guys too, I'm only 6' 4", and I think thats helped.

EDIT: Well, I guess what I'm really asking is, what do girls really like about guys? I know ya'll've mentioned listening attentively, and asking questions, but there has to be more! Isn't there? I'm looking for a full database of tips, and tactics with strategies.

Edited by JoshT, 27 April 2007 - 08:16 PM.


#11 BlackSpyder

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Posted 27 April 2007 - 10:01 PM

Things my x's liked about me:
1) physically fit
2) attentive
3) fun to be around
4) funny
5) smart
6) confident in myself
7) Nice
8) good with parents

things they hated about me (a short summery of things I did wrong)
1) Chain Smoker
2) Drunk
3) Tendency to be an jerk when frustrated or annoyed

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#12 cowsgonemadd3

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Posted 27 April 2007 - 10:24 PM

only 6' 4"


I love how you said "ONLY"...

Okay short stuff ha ha

Over and over again I have heard one constant from girls on what they like about us other than height and MUSCLES.

Its a SENSE OF HUMOR. Someone who can make them laugh. I love to laugh and joke all the time. I can be good at those heat of the moment one liners.

Be funny or just be yourself is what they want. Make a funny comment as something happens that is funny. If you try to be too funny you might sound stupid.

#13 Umbrella

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Posted 27 April 2007 - 10:49 PM

Always remember that women really appreciate someone who is willing to listen to them. And by that I mean active listening, like nodding your head and asking pertinent questions. I am a guy, and that was something I learned early on.

...

Women associate comfortability with attraction. So the more open they can feel towards communicating with you, chances are they will become more attracted as well.

If you aren't good at starting conversations, just ask a question about the woman and let her take it from there.


Firstly, I am female.

I really agree with blueandgold04. Girls get along better with people who really listen to what they are saying, not people who just nod superficially. If you bring up a broad conversation topic and let the girl narrow it down, you are more likely to find out what she is interested in. The more you talk, the better friends you'll become. I'm not sure whether guys ever sit and have long conversations, but many girls do it quite often. Something else I've noticed is that sometimes when guys talk, they look at the ground instead of at each other, whereas girls turn to face whomever is speaking. Make sure you look like you are listening.

What do girls like about guys? :thumbsup:

I think polite guys are more likely to make female friends, as women really do value respect. Height (although it will probably help with initial physical attraction...) shouldn't matter too much as long as one has an attractive personality. As for pickup lines, I suggest using them only for humor... they don't imply sincerity.

Basically, treat female friends respectfully as people. :flowers:
--Even if I were reborn a thousand times it would not be enough to experience the world. Life is beautiful--

#14 Iodine

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Posted 28 April 2007 - 12:35 AM

Well said one and all, esp. you jg.
As nervous and yes scared as you may be about talking to girls keep one thing in mind, for the most part most girls are just as nervous and scared as you are!! :trumpet: Don't try to be something that you aren't, be yourself, be honest,be polite. Be a good listener, but also don't leave her hanging in mid air searching for something to say, hold your end of the converstion up. Try to find out what interest you both have in common, but there may be some things that she's interested in that you hadn't thought of before and may possibly find that it might interest you too. Of course that works both ways, she may find she is interested in learning more about something you're interested in.
Try to treat her the way that you would like her to treat you, with honesty,respect and as simply another human being, who, if you are lucky will find you interesting too. If you can be friends first the rest will eventually fall into place if you two are meant to go any farther with the relationship than just friends. You'll know when the right one comes along and sometimes the right one is a total surprise. She may not be the one you wanted to start with but she may just be the one that is exactly right for you, so stay open minded and open hearted. You may have many girls that are good friends before you finally bump into the one that will end up being your girlfriend. Prepare to take a few falls, it happens to everyone, girls included. It's not easy out there, there are alot of bumps in this life but you don't give up just because you tripped over one bump because you may find a smooth path on the other side!! :inlove:
Like I said, be yourself, be honest, be kind and remember, she's probably scared to death too!! Believe me you will survive and triumph. I was a "girl" once, and yes I still am, I just happen to be a mother now but the rules remain the same no matter what age you are.
Hang in there, you'll be fine. :thumbsup:

All my best wishes go with you and Oh! While you're checking out all the Roses in the garden, don't forget to check out a few of the Daisies along the way. They may not be as flamboyant and showy as the Roses but they are still pretty flowers just the same, just a little more shy.

Iodine (vicki) :flowers:

Edited by Iodine, 28 April 2007 - 12:38 AM.

Tell me and I forget ;Show me and I may remember;involve me and I"ll understand.

#15 mz30

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Posted 28 April 2007 - 06:30 AM

dating according to mike


lesson one :try not to be drunk when talking to a lady(drool puts them off)
lesson two :try not to be rude to her friends they are more important to lady than you re (at this moment)
lesson three :never ignore what she is saying (women are always right i found out the hard way)
lesson four :if she ask,s if she looks alright always say yes (never ,ever look first)
lesson five :always compliment a lady(shows that you are pying attention to her)
lesson six :always make a lady laugh (ladies love a sense of humour)
lesson seven:always let a lady choose were you go(ladys like to choose were to eat )
lesson eight:never be late for a date (thats a womans perogative)
lesson nine :ladies love romantic gestures (be spontaneous)
lesson ten :don't take advice on dating from anyone called mike(always tend to be wrong)

joking aside josh there is only one bit of advice i can give(everyone has posted great suggestions)
but my advice is this when you meet the right girl you won't have to wonder what to say so even if you do love computers and want to talk about them if she likes you she will listen .nowadys a lot of people struggle talking to women or girls remeber they are still human and they might be nervous about talking too you.
so as i said if the girl is right word s will not be an issue and believe me when you settle down and god
allowing you start a family words will be the least of your worries so while you are young don't be afraid to talk and who knows maybe the girl of your dreams is just around the corner. :thumbsup:


gl mike
god my head hurts.
if you don't ask ,you don't know



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