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A Redneck Birthday Present

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#1 KoanYorel


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Posted 30 December 2004 - 07:05 PM

Hello, is this the FBI?"

"Yes, What can I do for you?"

"I'm calling to report about my neighbor, Virgil Smith.
He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!"

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Virgil's house.
They search the shed where the firewood is kept.

Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.

They sneer at Virgil and leave.

The phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the FBI come?"


"Did they chop your firewood?"


"Happy Birthday, buddy"

The only easy day was yesterday.

...some do, some don't; some will, some won't (WR)

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#2 Bear


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Posted 30 December 2004 - 07:06 PM

LMAO :thumbsup:
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#3 Notorious


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Posted 31 December 2004 - 07:04 AM

:trumpet: :thumbsup: :inlove: :cool: :flowers: Good one..
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Down in the bayou, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?
"Sure is Bubba. But why you asking?"
"Cause what I want to know is, I was thinking, can I sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've slept with?"

#4 JEservices


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Posted 31 December 2004 - 10:55 AM

:flowers: :thumbsup:
We are all curious like a cat. We wonder, we ask, we learn.
Please post back when a suggestion works, so that others may learn.

#5 cowsgonemadd3


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Posted 31 December 2004 - 12:06 PM

LOL so funny!

#6 TexasAngel67


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Posted 31 December 2004 - 12:13 PM

That is hilarious! Thanks Koan!

Love the sig and av (of course) Bear!

#7 touse


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Posted 03 January 2005 - 01:20 AM

What exactly is a redneck? I've always wonderd about that.

I understand it was originally used to refer to white lower-class people in the southern states of the US, correct? But I'm not sure as to the present-day connotation(s) of the word. While it started out as a derogatory word, it now seems to have become almost a term of affection, a proud title so to speak, if used by people belonging to the social group that could be designated as rednecks. A bit similar to Afro-americans calling their fellow Afro-americans bleep: accepted, especially amongst young people, but one of the most heinous racial insult if said by a caucasian person?

And is it synonymous for white trash?


#8 Pandy



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Posted 03 January 2005 - 02:55 AM

Hmmm.. Touse.. I guess redneck HAS become like a term of affection. LOL.. Also I think some people tend to think it is another term for "white trash". But I tend to not agree with that. LOL.. And I just noticed touse. You joined BC on my birthday LOL..

Man I sure wish some Feda would come here and chop al of my firewood. hehehe What a thoughtful and clever birthday gift. tehe. I wonder if the Effa B I is getting a lot of crank calls about people hiding drugs in their firewood LMAO :thumbsup:

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#9 phawgg


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Posted 03 January 2005 - 03:01 AM

Good question, touse.

Bound to spark a bit of controversy.

My definition (which isn't necessarily the universal one) comes from my
background & locality.
I'm from the Pacific Northwest.
A redneck here typically would mean a person(s) who:
  • Is not particularly Liberal in their general opinions & outlook on life.
  • Bias, pre-judiced & perhaps not exactly educated beyond local customs & conventions.
  • Usually thought of as "beer-drinking" as opposed to say, a connoisseur of fine wines.
  • Generally not considered a Tea-Totaler or one who abstains from using alcohol.
  • Not cosmopolitan in outlook. General rural roots, so to speak.
  • Often considered as a person who owns a four-wheel drive truck...
  • Usually one that is older & dented.
  • Usually one with a shotgun or rifle prominently displayed on a rack hanging in front of the rear window...
  • Presumably to shoot deer with.
  • In or out of season (meaning it is considered a God-given Right to pack a loaded weapon for the purpose of either feeding themselves/family/friends or defending that God-given right to do so.
  • Often thought of as having bumper stickers on that old truck...
  • Stating things of a political nature perhaps:
  • "America: LOVE IT or LEAVE IT" was a fairly typical one.
  • "GOD, GUNS & GRIT made this Country Great" might be another.
  • Generally not considered wealthy economically, but that isn't really the main criteria for earning the title of REDNECK.
  • Inflexibility with regards to others opinions might be a fairly consistent quality found in rednecks everywhere.
  • Also, I've heard of very few Afro-Americans (if any) who are called rednecks.
  • This is because many who have had the "title" also held races of man other than Caucasian in a position lower than theirs for some reason.
BTW, in the old days, Hippies & Rednecks usually held very different opinions about
the war in Vietnam. Before the war in Vietnam there were no rednecks.

No computers to complain about either.
Neither "Rednecks" or "Hippies" would have been considered the kind of people actually working at development of them.
They were called something else.
The "Establisment Type" was their "label".

So, IMHO, it's not really a term of endearment or affection to call someone a redneck.

Times change things somewhat, and anyone who lives any way and refuses to be anything other than what is their choice, (sort of a "redneck-quality"), can indeed be held in high-esteem by some.

So, the term can have several inflections upon it.

I still imagine a redneck might be sitting on a 1967 Ford F-150's tailgate,
a shotgun lyin' on his lap,
an old hat that doesn't protect his open collar tee-shirt from the burning rays of the Southern Sun much,
a can of Budweiser Beer held to his mouth in such a way that for a moment
he isn't tellin' most anyone who'd listen why "the other person" should or shouldn't act the way they do. By Gawd. :thumbsup:
patiently patrolling, plenty of persisant pests n' problems ...

#10 cowsgonemadd3


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Posted 03 January 2005 - 10:42 AM

Goodness phawgg when you get on a roll! LOL

#11 touse


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Posted 08 January 2005 - 08:01 AM

Thanks for the clarification, guys. I guess redneck is a word, the reality of which seems to correspond with the prejudice. Not too many of that around!!!

But seems that some rednecks are able to outsmart some white collars. Funny story, KoanYorel.


Edited by touse, 08 January 2005 - 08:07 AM.

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