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Critical Update


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#1 igonuts2

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Posted 30 November 2006 - 03:03 PM

Subject: Fw: Installing Love


Installing Love

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install
Love.
Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready.
What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located
your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now.
Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and
Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from
your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory
but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually
override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High
Self-Esteem. However, you
have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs
prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke
Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and
Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that
normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the
upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error -
Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up
to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In
non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before
you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following
files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your
Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system
will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty
programming. Also,you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all
directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely
gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile
is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying
themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually
everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and
running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure
to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in
turn share it with others
and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

God/Tech Support: You're Welcome, Anytime





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#2 fozzie

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    aut viam inveniam aut faciam


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Posted 01 December 2006 - 05:07 AM

The same customer 10 years later :

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?
Customer : Yes you can. Are you the same person that suggested me to install Love?

Tech Support: Yes, sir I do that every day. It brings peace to our customers life.
Customer : Well I thought it did as well. I have downloaded the add-on life companion and everything went well. So well we decided to upgrade to marriage. After some happy years we decided to bring in children version 1 and 1.1. Again it was a happy configuration. Suddenly something went terribly wrong.

During workhours I ran into the virus shortskirted secretary, which totally deleted my operating system and installed a rootkit named overtime. I now make overtime and thought I found passionate love....

How wrong I could be.. After my job was deleted the virus suddenly disappeared into oblivion. The add-ons wife and children lost their comptability and went to the maliceous mother in law. She is sending me emails and asking for HALF of my system recources....

I now run a caseless life and have no protection and no place to go....

Tech Support: Couldn't you try a system restore??
Customer : No virus secretary has deleted all memorables....

#3 tink536

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Posted 01 December 2006 - 09:11 PM

cute
:thumbsup:

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I search for Sjogrens Syndrome Foundation...Who will you search for?





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