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Satire from ScrappleFace


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#1 twinsdad

twinsdad

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Posted 21 December 2004 - 11:19 PM

This satire from the ScrappleFace website:

New Microsoft Patch Blocks Firefox Downloads
by Scott Ott

(2004-12-19) -- Microsoft Corp. today released a new security patch for its Internet Explorer (IE) web browser which prevents users from accidentally or intentionally downloading the new free, open-source Firefox browser from The Mozilla Foundation.

"Firefox is a dangerous and contagious browser that could seriously jeopardize marketshare," said an unnamed Microsoft spokesman. "Unless consumers take action to block Firefox, it could speed up web surfing and return control of user computers to the users themselves."

The source added that Internet Explorer is a superior product because it allows computer experts, called 'hackers', to control your computer.

"Who would you rather have in control of your PC?" the Microsoft spokesman asked rhetorically, "Do you want an expert who knows every line of the IE code, or some bozo like you who just walks into Circuit City and buys the cheapest PC off the shelf?"

Although Microsoft recommends that IE users download the anti-Firefox patch immediately, users who fail to do so will get it anyway within two weeks through Windows automatic updates.

Asked whether Mozilla's free email program, Thunderbird, could also pose a threat to Microsoft's Outlook, the spokesman said, "There is no competition for Outlook. We have not heard of Thunderbird, and we are not now preparing a patch to block it, which will be released in January."

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