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Bullies & the mentally ill


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#1 SuperSapien64

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Posted 20 April 2018 - 07:53 PM

I was bullied my whole life first Elementary School through High School. The main reason why I was bullied was because I have mental health problems and in high school they wouldn't stop until they tried to make me snap. They didn't win but they did achieve and giving me Crohn's (number one cause for Crohn's is stress). They were relentless they would sneak around to my house and ease drop on my family, which if I'm not mistaken is it illegal to go to someone's private property and spy on them. So we're any of you bullied in school?



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#2 r.a.d.

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Posted 21 April 2018 - 11:32 AM

Sorry you experienced that, and to address the first half of your topic title, with the mention that having asthma while growing up placed me at a disadvantage in many respects:

At age 15, one guy would grab &shove me against the lockers a couple times a month, which was painful. That summer I joined a gym, meat cake type, the next fall he grabbed me again, I spun him around and literally ground the jerk against the lockers where every knob, handle and hinge tattooed his back.
That ended that.
Thereafter, though I sometimes hung around with some of the 'toughs' (who by the way were not bullies), also had many friends who were prime bully-bait types who were then left alone. To this day I feel good about having protected them.

At heart, bullies are basically cowards.

Interesting... before posting I Googled 'bullies are cowards' and found a short article that would agree:

https://www.quora.com/Why-are-bullies-said-to-be-cowards
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#3 SuperSapien64

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Posted 21 April 2018 - 05:56 PM

@ r.a.d.

 

Quote: At heart, bullies are basically cowards.

 

True. I also got beat up quite a bit in high school but I also had home issues to deal with on top the high school issues. Speaking bullies being cowards I eventually basically befriended my elementary school bully.



#4 r.a.d.

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Posted 21 April 2018 - 07:59 PM

SuperSapien, you've got me thinking back, some of the worst bullies, over subsequent years, wound up in jail or dead, not being the brightest bulbs. 

The article I posted also gets me wondering what negativities their home life was like that could have been the root of their behavior. In those days, counseling wasn't a predominant focus like today.

Personally, though I kinda learned how to fight over years, the avoidance of violence has been uppermost.

The bully you later befriended is interesting. Perhaps with time, maturity replaced his previous impulses.

Hope others identify with your topic and share their experience.
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#5 The-Toolman

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Posted 21 April 2018 - 10:14 PM

I come from a large family and having several older and younger brothers and sisters was cool because we were our own gang and people who messed with one of us usually got the crap beat out of them by all of us. :thumbup2:

 

Word got around fast that if you messed with one of us you had to deal with all of us and it is still that way today.


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#6 SuperSapien64

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Posted 22 April 2018 - 05:31 PM

@ The-Toolman

 

Thats great family and friends should look out for each other.

 

Bullies prey on the physically or mentally weak and usually because there being picked on themselves. Rather that be a peer or parent etc, and that reminds me that bully I had from elementary school tried to take my lunch in middle school then the consoler and principal asked me if he was doing this out of malice I told them no because I could sense that the bully was desperate and thats what I told them and that was one way I befriended that bully. Bullies typically have a rough home life so they lash out at the world, but some of them simply have ASPD/psychopathy.



#7 britechguy

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Posted 22 April 2018 - 06:50 PM

I was bullied, mostly mentally, but there was a dose of physical during my junior high years, from late elementary school all the way through the end of high school.  Being different, in this case perceived as gay [mostly] and otherwise odd, was enough.  Though I am gay I certainly was not in any meaningful sense during that entire period.

 

There is certainly a contingent of the population of bullies that do so in reaction to life stresses that they are being subjected to.  There is also a contingent that just does it for kicks.  Neither makes the experience of being bullied any easier, but at least I can understand the "mechanism of action" in the former group.

 

What I found interesting was a comment made to me at my 10th high school reunion, which was the first one I went to, from someone who didn't bully me, but was a witness to what was happening, "We were all amazed at just how strong you were."  I never fought back in the conventional sense of the word, but I also didn't let anyone ever stop me from doing what I was going to do.  Life was often a living hell, but I was not about to ever give anyone the satisfaction of believing, or witnessing, their cruelty cause me to divert from my intended course.  That was not easy, and I know that I was the exception in being able to keep this up for over a decade.

 

P.S.:  Also, at that 10th reunion, one of my worst tormentors (female, as it happens) made a point of finding me and apologizing, very sincerely.  She was one that fell into the, "my own life was hellish and I was acting out to make others feel as miserable as I did," group.


Edited by britechguy, 22 April 2018 - 07:01 PM.

Brian  AKA  Bri the Tech Guy (website in my user profile) - Windows 10 Home, 64-Bit, Version 1803, Build 17134 

     . . . the presumption of innocence, while essential in the legal realm, does not mean the elimination of common sense outside it.  The willing suspension of disbelief has its limits, or should.

    ~ Ruth Marcus,  November 10, 2017, in Washington Post article, Bannon is right: It’s no coincidence The Post broke the Moore story


 

 

 

              

 


#8 SuperSapien64

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Posted 22 April 2018 - 07:30 PM

@ britechguy

 

I can relate people thought I was gay and harassed me terribly and rouged me up to. But I didn't want to hurt any of them but on the other hand my friend did, I found out after graduation he was planning on shooting up the school and I was on his hit list. He obviously never acted out on this but just the fact he was planning to deeply disturbed me heck he even admitted I got picked on more than he did and people thought he was gay to because he brother is gay and this was around a year before Columbine. Homophobia and other forms of discrimination can push someone over the edge especially if there mentally ill like my friend was.  


Edited by SuperSapien64, 22 April 2018 - 07:57 PM.


#9 MadmanRB

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Posted 22 April 2018 - 10:04 PM

Oh boy the bulling I got as a kid and as a teen, made worse because I have a development disorder.

Bipolar + developement disorder + special ed + bullies = AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

And yeah i still have that development disorder, I am almost 37 but I feel more like I am 15 or 16 in terms of emotional control.


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#10 The-Toolman

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Posted 23 April 2018 - 10:21 AM

I don't really know if we had what today's society calls bulling back when I went to school.

 

As kids we went to a Catholic school and then for high school went to public school and yeah we had our normal fist fights but that was over stupid stuff as most fights in grade schools are.

 

As for fights in high school don't recall having any as we were into cars and drugs and smoking pot and drinking and learning about girls if you know what I mean which is why some of us wound up getting married at 18.

 

School fights are part of going to school and unfortunately there are going to be bullies so one either learns to fight or puts up with being bullied.

 

My kids were always getting into fights at school but I taught them to defend themselves and don't walk away from a fight and stand your ground and most problems ended.


Edited by The-Toolman, 23 April 2018 - 10:52 AM.

I'm grumpy because I can be not because I'm old.

 

The world is what you make of it, if it doesn't fit, you make alterations.

 

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.  (Mark Twain)


#11 britechguy

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Posted 23 April 2018 - 10:29 AM

The-Toolman wrote, in part, "I don't really know if we had what today's society calls bull[y]ing back when I went to school."

 

Bullying has been around since time immemorial.   Not everyone gets bullied nor, necessarily, even witnesses it.  It still went on as the best bullies do their `best work` when they're certain that no one can see what they're doing.


Brian  AKA  Bri the Tech Guy (website in my user profile) - Windows 10 Home, 64-Bit, Version 1803, Build 17134 

     . . . the presumption of innocence, while essential in the legal realm, does not mean the elimination of common sense outside it.  The willing suspension of disbelief has its limits, or should.

    ~ Ruth Marcus,  November 10, 2017, in Washington Post article, Bannon is right: It’s no coincidence The Post broke the Moore story


 

 

 

              

 


#12 The-Toolman

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Posted 23 April 2018 - 11:34 PM

HA! HA!  :cool:

This bully got what he deserved. :thumbup2:

Maybe this bully will remember what happened to him the next time he decides to bully someone else.

 

 


Edited by The-Toolman, 24 April 2018 - 01:12 PM.

I'm grumpy because I can be not because I'm old.

 

The world is what you make of it, if it doesn't fit, you make alterations.

 

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.  (Mark Twain)


#13 SuperSapien64

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Posted 27 April 2018 - 04:24 PM

@ MadmanRB

 

Quote: I am almost 37 but I feel more like I am 15 or 16 in terms of emotional control.

 

I know the feeling, there are times where I feel like I'm in my mid teens (psychosis and autism).

 

@ britechguy

 

Quote: Bullying has been around since time immemorial.   Not everyone gets bullied nor, necessarily, even witnesses it.  It still went on as the best bullies do their `best work` when they're certain that no one can see what they're doing.

 

True that. :thumbup2:



#14 Mklangelo

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Posted 29 April 2018 - 10:05 AM

  SuperSapien,  

 

I angers me that this happens.  And I'm sorry to say that it seems to be mostly an American Phenomenon.  I know children can be natural liars and they can be very cruel.  I think that's a function of undeveloped personalities having yet to develop empathy, which I'm guessing is a more advanced personality trait.

 I was bullied in school as well, as I was always overweight.  I still am overweight but carry it better now that I'm fully grown in height.  As an adult, I am aware of how bullying in part shaped my outlook on the world.  It will always be there, but to be aware of the root of our possible shortcomings and/or character flaws is how a civilized person deals with such things. Repression creates personality "time bombs".  


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#15 SuperSapien64

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Posted 29 April 2018 - 06:48 PM

@ Mklangelo

 

Speaking of weight issues I was very skinny when I was a child/teen and still kind of am. And they give me c*** for being skinny, children especially teens can be very cruel. And on the topic of picking on someone for having issues I picked on someone when I was in kindergarten and first grade because he bit my hands on the school bus but I thought picking on him make him would make him stop but it only made him worse so eventually I stopped in fact I became his friend when I was eight years old.


Edited by SuperSapien64, 29 April 2018 - 06:49 PM.





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