Ok guys so I just checked out the welcome guide for first time and its good for new people who join however what about the IT bosses that join the guys who are into everything, pressing buttons that say do not press installing anything with an exe, like the serious guys who will not stop messing with their system until it wont boot up due to too many scans, installs and pressing? what about those guys? as the welcome guide does not cator for the self confessed bosses that we all want to be like one day.
So I have decided to make a welcome guide for bosses and guys do not try this at home cause take it from me being a boss is all in the head and in reality your just scanning fresh air while installing every app you can for no reason other than you want to tweak the BIOS so you can do things no faster or better than you currently are and cause problems that you will need to install more apps and do scans to resolve. The ife of a boss and not to be tried by anyone else, OK?
step 1 create a free account
step 2 surf the site and forums takking no notice of the warnings to scan only and do this dont do that, its your PC after all so treat it like yours and listen to no one
step 3 get interested in some new things that you never read about and plan on trying few things out but dont ask questions or seek advice as again this is your PC and will be treated as such
step 4 make a few posts telling people what your planning and give advice on how to do it for other people and remember you are a bosss so tell people what to do so everyone can do it
step 5 after everyone gets fed up of you telling them ow to flash your bBIOS in public and hwo to convert the north and sotuh bridge into a super bridge etc tell them they did it wrong thats why it never worked and how you perfected this back in the day and how its easy just they got it wrong.
step 6 give up on telling people and begin downloading every app here and other places, preferably apps you do not need and apps with warnings and lots of writing that you dont read so you get the best experience from this.
step 7 install everything BIOS updates scripts codes and tweaks while running continua scans from the 6 AV and other scanners you installed. Make sure to run reg fixer apps while doing this and delete a few files from windows32 as you dont need 32 bit if on 64 bit PC and as we all know win32 folder stands for 32 bit files but dont delete whole thing as some run virtually in 32 bit so just delete a few.
step 8 go for something to eat while the scans are running and things all goiing fine and try get the "you need to restart your PC" to pop up if not your going to have to bootstrap the PC with one feet so it crashes and restarts.
step 9 realise that you have went a bit far and while its not anything you did thats made your pc not start its one of the apps you used that did it.
step 10 Make a post on thei forum saying how you just got home from work and the pc was not starting and say you installed few safe apps and read all the warnings and guides/advice and how you dont mess around with things ever
step 11 BC guys finnally after 5 hours help you get your pc started in safe mode
step 12 when asked to post the log files from thighjack combofix etc your asked why so many AV and scans are running and why your 6 TB drive is filled up with apps such as PChunter and androide VM running and powershelll scripts going off from all angles when asked. Did you install all this and change things say no and say it all happened when you made a free account on BC and how you feel that you have been hacked and its everyone else fault as you know whats what and read instructions.
step 13 when told to reinstall windows to resolve it all demand that you get to talk to the guys who run the site and admin as you will not reinstall windows as thats for people who dont know what to do and if you did it you would forever feel ashamed.
step 14 BC pro fixers have a big meeting as its too much for them to listen to you goig on about smashing it back to normal and lets do it guys lets smash it fixed and how you point blank refuse to reinstall windows. So is decided to either ban or remote into the PC and reinstall windows while I am in bed and its voted on and half say ban half say remote fix it and the guy who owns BC does the nice thing and says that remote fix it is
step 15 *now this is a BC step not one that boss guide guys do) the pro BC guys get it all sorted remote while you sleep and you wake up and the pc is working and your sure its because of few things you did before bed not knowing that BC fixed it.
step 16 start to do what you where before and install everything scan, porbe and prod telling yourself it will all be ok this time
step 17 pc wont start again and you post asking who lists apps from 2010 anyway and ask for a fix to get your pc going.
step 18 your suddenly logged out of BS and when you log in it says you are banned for life do not pass go do not collect £200
step 19 realise that your just too good at IT and everyone else caused this and give up on PC and move to mac or chromebook and master it while surfing the net to find a nice BC site thats for macs/andoide and go back to step 1
Ok so at least you all know how I deal with things so know when I blame combofix its deffo me just not when pchunter is involved cause that thing is a cut above me when it comes to break things.
thnx and have a nice day all
That is all and hope you enjoyed the humour and are at least laughing at me and remember like a boss or not at all :D