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Father's furious post to friends after autistic son is not invited to birthday


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#1 NickAu

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Posted 07 November 2017 - 07:25 PM

 

A loving father has written a furious post to his friends online after his six-year-old autistic son did not receive any invitations to their kids' birthday parties.

The boy's mother shared her husband's angry rant from Facebook onto Twitter, writing, "My husband's message to his mates breaks my heart."

In the message the father wrote: "My son Reilly has autism not f***ing leprosy; he is 6 years old and my so called friends who have kids also have kids parties. Not ONE invite not f***ing one [sic].

https://au.news.yahoo.com/world/a/37770648/fathers-furious-post-as-autistic-son-is-not-invited-to-parties/

 

Well done, this man truly loves his son.

 

People with disabilities are still people and should be treated as such.



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#2 ChirunoIceFairy

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Posted 08 November 2017 - 07:52 AM

I have autism/ADHD and go to a special needs school... it's really heartbreaking in this day and age that some people think mental difficulties are acceptable to discriminate against for...

#3 r.a.d.

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Posted 08 November 2017 - 12:22 PM

To broaden the discriminational attitude of many people, this often reaches far beyond autism to those in wheelchairs, little people (two close friends of ours are a married couple with dwarfism), Down's syndrome (friends have a child) who, IMO are the happiest people you could know, LGBT's, speech/hearing impaired, amputees... heck, the list just goes on.

Many 'normal' people either stare or avert their eyes, even try to totally ignore those unlike themselves.

 To me, those folks project an abnormal liability by their own obvious discomfort, worthy of my own avoidance for sure.

With children, this behavior toward others slightly different can be justified to a point by lack of real-life exposure, but not for adults. 
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#4 Knat

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 05:40 AM

 

 

 

People with disabilities are still people and should be treated as such.

 

Always this. 



#5 mjd420nova

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 12:22 PM

In this wide world we live in, there is one of every type of human you could imagine.  In one way or another we are all disabled.  Most are unwilling to even consider this but it is true.  Do you smoke?? That's an addiction and a disability.  Can you right left handed, to a lefty you are disabled.  Gifted children have a unique way about them and their perceptions that's care exceeds what one might call normal.  We are all different and must remember that those differences is what makes us human.



#6 r.a.d.

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 02:04 PM

Though I have a parking placard used only when absolutely necessary (rheumatoid arthritis), the word 'disability' itself rubs the wrong way here and instead use the term 'inconvenience' for myself, the only exception reserved for those who use a (stolen/borrowed/unneeded) placard for parking convenience whom I view as having 'disabled' morals.
BTW, I still smoke, of which a better description for that would be 'foolish'. :)
Terminology aside, we are all slightly different from one another.
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#7 georgehenry

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 02:36 PM

BTW, I still smoke, of which a better description for that would be 'foolish. 

 

I suppose you know that smoking will exacerbate the rheumatoid arthritis.



#8 r.a.d.

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Posted 10 November 2017 - 02:53 PM

georgehenry, yep, also probably helped with its onset 8 years ago. Though hereditary, I've yet found any ancestors who had it.
Stress is also noted as a possible cause. Am happy in spite of its sometimes painful inconvenience.
Thanks for the info that foolish me was aware of. :)
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#9 georgehenry

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Posted 12 November 2017 - 02:50 AM

I have a daughter that is virtually incapacitated with RA, and still smokes. It makes me feel very frustrated. 



#10 r.a.d.

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Posted 12 November 2017 - 12:53 PM

R.A. aside, re: Nick's topic, a guy where my wife works is autistic who really likes her, and though lacking in social interactive skills (he's in his thirties, where today programs are now available for younger to help with this), if you have a difficult question without Google at your fingertips and he's in the mood to answer, prepare yourself for facts, statistics and elaborations rivaling Wikipedia. Guy's brain is like a steel trap nothing escapes from. 
He's also extremely likable with a tremendous personality. 
Autism isn't a disability or liability except to those who view being slightly different as such. Perhaps a limitation in some circumstances, but we all fall into that category in some form or fashion.
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#11 britechguy

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Posted 12 November 2017 - 01:19 PM

r.a.d. wrote, in part:  Autism isn't a disability or liability except to those who view being slightly different as such. Perhaps a limitation in some circumstances, but we all fall into that category in some form or fashion. 

 

That is a really, really gross overstatement.   The autism spectrum runs the gamut from what used to be called Asperger's Syndrome (Temple Grandin being the most famous example to the general public) all the way through pervasive developmental disorders that leave the afflicted (and that's the right term, in my opinion) severely disabled in virtually every way imaginable.

 

Put more colloquially, and having professional and personal experience with autism spectrum disorder, "There's autism and then there's autism!


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#12 r.a.d.

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Posted 12 November 2017 - 02:49 PM

I don't have experience with the condition except for the one mentioned above who is high-functioning, yet does have a handler who accompanies him. As for descriptive distinctions, my own perspective and acceptance of those stand, nor will change, yet do understand that extremes exist of which I'm unfamiliar with. So thanks for aligning others to what I may have steered off-target.
Something found on the fly, wether relevant or not:
https://ollibean.com/autism-disability-difference/
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#13 britechguy

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Posted 12 November 2017 - 05:51 PM

r.a.d.,

 

         My offering was not meant as a chastisement, per se, but more as a cautionary statement.   The  most recent change in the medical world with regard to autism is removing a number of the various "old syndrome classifications" in favor of the unified label, "autism spectrum disorder," as there are certain base similarities that have been recognized for decades as being common features of autism, even if their respective severities vary, and since having a medical diagnosis or educational label is critical for being able to receive various services from medical insurers or educational institutions.

 

          I find the "difference versus disability" conversation tedious, personally.   Everyone knows that the term "disability" covers an awful lot of territory that ranges between mild and severe.  Those who ascribe to "difference" would scream bloody murder were they unable to receive necessary support related to their condition, if any is needed, because they were not classified as having a medical condition or educational disability.  These classifications exist to allow access, and those at the mildest end of the spectrum seldom reject access to services they want.

 

          After having been working in the world of disability since 2000 and am thoroughly convinced that those who engage in these "difference versus disability" debates are splitting hairs and fooling themselves.   You cannot "define away" what the world of people who do not have disabilities consider to be disabilities, and that is who defines them.   You must be atypical in some significant way to be considered to have what we now term a disability.   No matter what terminology might be used, and it has changed over the years, you cannot "define away" what will be viewed as a disability.

 

           It's also pretty much a given that "the focus" when dealing with disability is on the "dis" part.   A person with a disability doesn't need, nor do they generally want, assistance or services related to things that they can do completely independently and/or that don't affect their ability to operate "within normal limits" in the world at large.  I have always loved the medical term "within normal limits" because it recognizes that there is a bell curve of proficiency and everyone recognizes, with some fuzziness at the end points of "normal," what falls within them.

 

           Those of us who regularly deal with people with disabilities are not at all unaware of the myriad abilities and gifts they do have, and do not presume that they are helpless, unable to express their thoughts on how to proceed in treatment (and otherwise), etc., etc., etc.   That is, however, because we have had enough experience with those individuals that "the surface dis" isn't all we see.  When dealing with the general public "the surface dis" is likely all they see, or what they assign the most significance to, and any individual with a disability is going to have to learn, and early, how to be their own advocate and to dispel the misperceptions that are likely immediately formed by the uninformed, because they are unfamiliar and uninformed.  It's a simple fact of life with the cards they've been dealt.


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Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.  Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.

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#14 r.a.d.

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Posted 12 November 2017 - 07:08 PM

britechguy, I didn't take your response as chastisement at all, but with your further elaboration, I do understand what others (and us) perceived as a dis-agreement on descriptive wording (if that makes sense).
With you having a greater knowledge plus direct experience with the different and more severe levels of autism, not gonna argue,  friend. Thanks for more in-depth detail.


Edit/add so as not to bump- I'll quickly clarify a certain point: many conditions can be of a severity that restricts involvement within society, sad but true, and I would have to certainly describe those as disabilities beyond my ability to view as otherwise. 

Edited by r.a.d., 12 November 2017 - 09:17 PM.

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