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My boyfriend is too addicted to gaming


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#1 crosssection

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 08:58 AM

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 2 years. He has always been addicted to playing different games, and nothing has changed. If any, it only made the addiction stronger. How do I tell him that I want to spend more time with him in a way that I don't "insult" his love for gaming? I made a mistake of shouting at him and telling him back then, that he had no life with his stupid games. No good results from that .We only fought.

I just wanna go on a date and spend time with my boyfriend. I'm not trying to ask him to quit gaming. Help?



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#2 Condobloke

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 09:16 AM

He has an addiction similar to alcoholism. He is addicted and cannot stop.

 

Make your life simpler and leave..

 

Only when he realises that he has lost you will perhaps HE do something about it.

 

HE has to take the step....you cannot do it for him.

 

Sorry...but that is the reality of your situation.


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#3 bruinator

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 09:27 AM

How old is he? If he is still young, 20 something, he can still learn there are other things in life besides gaming. IF he is an older gamer, it might be a bit harder to change him. Ask him if he would like to see your relationship evolve into something more than him just gaming. If he refuses to conitinue with gaming only. just leave him for your own sake.


Edited by bruinator, 21 October 2017 - 10:00 AM.


#4 r.a.d.

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 12:25 PM

Ditto to the above advice.

My wife and I learned how to compromise. I enjoyed my man-cave (working on stuff in the garage) and she enjoyed shopping. So I'd let her shop 'till she dropped and she'd drag me along. 

Kidding aside, the fact you've asked for advice here from folks far removed from those more aware of the dynamics between you both... I'll just add that you cannot change another's behavior, addiction or the level of importance they view you with. YOU can easily change when your own self-worth and esteem realizes 'it can get better than this'. 

Someone's out there that will appreciate your actual reality rather than virtual games.

Have no idea of your age (no worries, not asking) but I'm 67 and happy, as is my wife. 
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#5 The-Toolman

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Posted 22 October 2017 - 07:04 AM

It's no different than anyone who lives everyday for sports.

 

The wife and I are 65 years old and have been married for 47 years and we still hang out and do all sorts of things together although we give each other space to breathe.

 

What you need to do is figure out how much crap you are willing to put up with and until you figure that out nothing is going to be any different than it is now.

 

+1 on on r.a,d. post #4 :thumbup2:


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#6 Havachat

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Posted 22 October 2017 - 08:14 AM

Obiviously the Gaming is more important than you , and no compomising or thought of your needs.

Thats not a Relationship if he has no time for you or makes the time.

 

Yep its an addiction , my nephew is the same 33yrs old single spends at least 5 hrs a day and full weekends , lazy to the hilt on things that need to be done of importance , have to remind him weekly to put the bins out via text { he lives next door }.

 

Its the era we live in now with the younger generation and they think its just normal , but there is so much more out there to do than waste time on Gaming to excess , i dont and never have but cant grasp whats the achievment ? .....what ? I Win !

 

Before you know it he will say ....well that was a waste of 10 yrs for nothing and you probaby wont be there to Hear it......

 

Hope you sort it out , us oldies always say lifes to short to waste, but you have to get there to realize the mistakes.



#7 bornfree

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Posted 23 October 2017 - 04:26 AM

 

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 2 years. He has always been addicted to playing different games, and nothing has changed. If any, it only made the addiction stronger. How do I tell him that I want to spend more time with him in a way that I don't "insult" his love for gaming? I made a mistake of shouting at him and telling him back then, that he had no life with his stupid games. No good results from that .We only fought.

I just wanna go on a date and spend time with my boyfriend. I'm not trying to ask him to quit gaming. Help?

 

 

This is some sort of addiction if I am not mistaken. Too much is bad as they say. I actually don't know how to talk to a person who is addicted to something. You can try looking for ways on how to manage addiction. That will surely help you get some tips.



#8 Naught McNoone

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Posted 23 October 2017 - 01:36 PM

@crosssection

 

Is it one particular game that he is obsessed with, or does he jump back and forth to several different ones?

 

What else is being affected by his gaming?

 

For instance, does he miss work or school because of it?

Does he stay up late, and not get enough sleep, because of it?

Is he forgetting himself, such as meals, hygiene, &c.?

 

There are other signs of addiction, that should be looked at.

Ignoring a pet's plea to be fed, or let outside, because of the game.

Ignoring a ringing telephone, and never returning messages.

Irritable behaviour when absent from the game, sometimes outright hostility.

 

You may want to check out this website:

 

http://www.techaddiction.ca/video-game-addiction.html

 

Cheers!

 

Naught



#9 The-Administrater

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Posted 24 October 2017 - 02:10 AM

 

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 2 years. He has always been addicted to playing different games, and nothing has changed. If any, it only made the addiction stronger. How do I tell him that I want to spend more time with him in a way that I don't "insult" his love for gaming? I made a mistake of shouting at him and telling him back then, that he had no life with his stupid games. No good results from that .We only fought.

I just wanna go on a date and spend time with my boyfriend. I'm not trying to ask him to quit gaming. Help?

 

 

Leave him.

 

BTW I am single and fancy going on a date. I find it very difficult to get dates generally so I am now open to anything.



#10 crosssection

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Posted 24 October 2017 - 11:37 PM

Actually. Thank y'all for your helpful comments. I do love my boyfriend and I really care for him. I actually mentioned to him yesterday that he doesn't treat me as his partner anymore. So it's either he choose his games or me. He told me that he doesn't want to lose me because I am the only one left who believes in him. I'm sure that that's really the case. So I told him to get help for his addiction ASAP. Since, he is online all the time, why not just do online therapy instead of playing with his stupid games.






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