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Windows Source Code Revealed


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#1 NickAu

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Posted 18 July 2017 - 08:16 PM

Subject: *** TOP SECRET MICROSOFT CODE ***
Project:  Version - Windows 10

Microsoft marketing strategy (MARKET.EXE):

#include <nonsense.h>
#include <lies.h>
#include <spyware.h> /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */
#include <process.h> /* For the court of law */

#define say(x) lie(x)
#define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE
#define next_year soon
#define the_product_is_ready_to_ship   another_beta_version

void main()
{
  if (latest_window_version>one_month_old)
  {
    if (there_are_still_bugs)
      market(bugfix);
    if (sales_drop_below_certain_point)
      raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION);
  }
  while(everyone_chats_about_new_version)
  {
    make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call, in
                                                    lie.h */
    if (rumours_grow_wilder)
      make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play);
    if (rumours_grow_even_wilder)
    {
      market_time=ripe;
      say("It will be ready in one month);
      order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version);
      order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version);
      order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense);
      vapourware=TRUE;
      break;
     }
  }
  switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress)
  {
     case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY:
       say("It will be ready in", today+30_days," we're just testing");
       break;
    case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PLAY_THING_WORK:
       say("Yes it will work");
       ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work);
       pretend(there_is_no_problem);
       break;
     case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS:
       say("It will run on a 8086 with lightning speed due to"
           " the 32 bits architecture");
       inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh");
       inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant"
              "'cos all those customers will need at least 32 megs");
       inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple");
       get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM);
       break;
     case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE:
       say("Oh no, we are just here to make a better world for
            everyone");
       register(journalist, Big_Bill_Book);
       when(time_is_ripe)
       {
         arrest(journalist);
         brainwash(journalist);
         when(journalist_says_windows10_is_bugfree)
         {
           order(journalist, "write a nice objective article");
           release (journalist);
         }
       }
       break;
   }
   while (vapourware)
   {
     introduction_date++; /* Delay */
     if (no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release)
       break;
     say("It will be ready in",today+ONE_MONTH);
  }
  release(beta_version)
  while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware)
  {
    bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks;
    release(new_and_even_better_beta_version);
    introduce(more_memory_requirements);
    if (customers_report_installation_problems)
    {
      say("that is a hardware problem, not a software problem");
      if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_play)
      {
        ignore(customer);
        order(microsoft_intelligence_agency, "Keep an eye on this
                                              person");
      }
    }
    if ( bills_bank_account>skyhigh && marriage>two_years )
    {
      divorce(woman_that_was_beatifull_when_I_married_her);
      wave(dollars, at_lusty_chicks);
      marry(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);
      devirginize(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);
      if (boobies_start_to_hang)

        dump(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);
    }
    if (there_is_another_company)
    {
      steal(their_ideas);
      accuse(compagny, stealing_our_ideas);
      hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */
      wait(until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit);
      buy_out(other_company);
    }
  }
  /* Now everyone realizes that we sell bugware and they are all angry at
     us */
  order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_ person);
  buy(nice_little_island); hire(harem);
  laugh_at(everyone,
for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished_version);
}


void bugfix(void)
{
  charge (a_lot_of_money)
  if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix)
    say("It is not a bugfix but a new version");
  if (still_complaints)
  {
    ignore(customer);
    register(customer, big_Bill_book);
    /* We'll get him when everyone uses Billware!!*/
  }
}


Edited by NickAu, 18 July 2017 - 08:17 PM.

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#2 britechguy

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Posted 18 July 2017 - 09:34 PM

It's syntactically clever, I'll give it that.


Brian  AKA  Bri the Tech Guy (website in my user profile) - Windows 10 Home, 64-Bit, Version 1803, Build 17134 

      Memory is a crazy woman that hoards rags and throws away food.

                    ~ Austin O'Malley

 

 

 

              

 


#3 softeyes

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Posted 18 July 2017 - 09:49 PM

:hysterical:  :lmao:  :hysterical:

 

Hilarious Nick!!!

 

I think that codename "Redstone 3" is based on:

 

charge (a_lot_of_money)
if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix)
say("
It is not a bugfix but a new version");
if (still_complaints)

 

 

Great!



#4 JohnnyJammer

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Posted 18 July 2017 - 11:32 PM

Windows 10 IMO is the best OS that Microsoft have made yet, especially for gaming.

I also didnt pay for my versions as it was a free upgrade but you can also tie that to an outlook account if you payf or it and move it to a whole new PC.

Note the free upgrade isnt able to be moved from one pc to another with if it detects significant hardware changes.



#5 cat1092

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Posted 19 July 2017 - 05:05 PM

That's a cool code there! :thumbsup:

 

I'm running the latest Windows Insider Preview on another PC, in the Fast Ring, don't see anything about 'Redstone', keeps saying 'Creator's Update', Should the promised Redstone that's supposed to provide a wealth of improvements, then I'll opt out at full release. I can always opt back in at any time, on any of my W10 installs, seems like the latest releases are coming in very fast & w/out an ISO to perform a clean install. Meaning that most every 2-3 weeks when the upgrade is delivered, I have to go into regedit to fix the ACHI functions for SSD performance, the values that I set to '0' are always going back to '3'. 

 

May switch to the Slow lane to prevent so many changes at once, although have to admit, so far, my OS hasn't been broken, although the power management is no better, AV/AM scans taking longer than ever to run. I suppose this is because like XP, piling on one roof after another eventually becomes held together with duct tape & spit, what can/does one expect? :hysterical:

 

I suppose this is why so many W7 & 8.1 users stated a loud NO to the forced upgrades to W10, which once happened to me when I forgot to shutdown a PC before going to sleep. When cutting the mouse on & laying it on the pad, the W10 sereen was there, waiting for me to finish setup. All I can say to that is, thank goodness I create frequent drive images, was able to undo the damage within 15 minutes. :)

 

If Microsoft thought that the XP holdouts were bad, they've seen nothing, with under 2.5 years towards EOL, W7 is still the World's #1 most ran OS. That's going to be one huge thorn in their side, most all apps & browsers will support the OS at least through 8.1's EOL date. Hopefully we'll see a mass of Linux newbies coming in, for those who runs a Linux distro, if we can gain only one convert each, that's double the market share, if two, three times. My point being, get folks onto Linux before W8.1 reaches EOL, that'll be the cure to all of the privacy, EULA & many other woes that's inbuilt into W10 & rest assured, more will be coming. So do your friends/family a favor & be a coach to others in freeing then from the bondage of Windows. :thumbsup:

 

Microsoft has been liars since the Windows 8 Pro promo in 2012, of which one of it's main selling points was having Hyper-V as an 'important tool for virtualization', yet I've not seen them release the first easy to understand, step by step walkthrough of how to create these. :thumbdown:

 

Really, was it that hard to include printed documentation with every Windows 8 & newer device? A sheet of paper that many would toss anyway (out of several), yet those interested would have the full power of our computers to run virtual machines, rather than be restricted to half the installed amount of RAM & other options. Hyper-V VM's has full hardware support, whereas the free VMware Workstation Player & VirtualBox doesn't. We were teased with the Hyper-V offer, although this feature to a lesser degree, was also included with W7 Ultimate (boot to vhd), yet we didn't get any followup as how to run these, other than articles on the TechNet site that's designed for IT Pros, not Home & Student users with Pro licenses. Furthermore, in 2012, it was Microsoft pushing W8 Pro, there was no Home version released on that day. so it seemed that they wanted more consumers to have the Pro experience. 

 

We were in essence, robbed of $40, especially those a year later who couldn't upgrade to W8.1 because of the lack of an instruction set in the CPU, CompareExchange 128 (CMPXCHG16b). At the introduction of W8 Pro, we too were assured of upgrades, and it'll be a matter of time before some Windows 10 OS's will no longer upgrade for the same reason (although could also be the GPU or any component). Point being, Microsoft lied to gain a fast $40, of which I purchased two, was eligible for one of the $15 licenses because I purchased my granddaughter a notebook for school. 

 

That stated, if they'll lie to paying customers, free users will get it harder, and as far as I'm concerned, W10 has never been free, because we gave a piece of our freedom to run the OS, especially if not using a local account. The main reason for the W10 release was to fulfill Microsoft's pact with the US government in 2007 (PRISM). To collect as much data as possible from every US citizen within our borders to prevent future crimes against the nation. Which is a crock of crap, there's been several tragedies since 9/11 (to especially include the Boston Marathon bombing), when we were on speaking terms with Russia, they passed on the data against the dead brother & all of the branches of US Intelligence (what a joke) allowed him to walk in over a misspell of his name. 

 

So even if Microsoft were able to supply data, someone along the chain of command would screw it up, just as they've done us since October 2012. :(

 

Cat


Edited by cat1092, 19 July 2017 - 05:54 PM.

Performing full disc images weekly and keeping important data off of the 'C' drive as generated can be the best defence against Malware/Ransomware attacks, as well as a wide range of other issues. 


#6 Just_One_Question

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Posted 19 July 2017 - 05:13 PM

Meaning that most every 2-3 weeks when the upgrade is delivered, I have to go into regedit to fix the ACHI functions for SSD performance, the values that I set to '0' are always going back to '3'.

That's one of the top reasons that I don't like updates in general all that much. They oftentimes revert things back to default that I wish not to be like that and I have to redo those settings every time after an update. When it comes to such things, most OS manufacturers these days have it 'my way or the highway'. I just want an update that goes on top of the previous version and not fiddling way too much with how the current OS version is set up.:)



#7 JohnC_21

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Posted 19 July 2017 - 06:32 PM

Compiled the code and got this.

 

somethin-happened-failed.jpg



#8 cat1092

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Posted 19 July 2017 - 07:43 PM

 

Meaning that most every 2-3 weeks when the upgrade is delivered, I have to go into regedit to fix the ACHI functions for SSD performance, the values that I set to '0' are always going back to '3'.

That's one of the top reasons that I don't like updates in general all that much. They oftentimes revert things back to default that I wish not to be like that and I have to redo those settings every time after an update. When it comes to such things, most OS manufacturers these days have it 'my way or the highway'. I just want an update that goes on top of the previous version and not fiddling way too much with how the current OS version is set up. :)

 

 

Well, I guess if I'm going to play, then have accepted how things are going to be, that's all in the life of a Preview tester (or Insider). :)

 

Note that the only thing that keeps me on Windows, and having to stay up to date as best as I can, are the in person & online assistance I provide. While I prefer working with consumers who stated no to Windows 10, the fact remains that there's many who took the ride, and there's still a wide open invitation under the disguise of needing 'assistive technologies', although in the footnotes, it plainly states that no proof required & that one doesn't have to be using these. Maybe a way in for those who knows that W7's days are ending, and we never know when the gate will slam shut. 

 

Nowadays, in contrast to two years back, or even a year, am physically working on more W10 computers than any other OS. Have had chances to work on computers with XP installed, if it's a hardware issue, I'll fix if able, if OS related, I'll not get into fixing a unsupported one. Mainly because I don't want a bunch of XP diehards calling me, many of the PC shops here either won't touch the OS, or will charge so much that it'll be in their best interest to go to Walmart & purchase a $348-398 PC that'll run rings around it. :)

 

Of course, I'll gladly install an easy to maintain Linux Mint at a nice discount, just to get the word out. :thumbsup:

 

Cat


Performing full disc images weekly and keeping important data off of the 'C' drive as generated can be the best defence against Malware/Ransomware attacks, as well as a wide range of other issues. 


#9 mjd420nova

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Posted 21 July 2017 - 11:47 PM

Microsoft has kept a lot of people busy making things right on their units.  Generated a lot of scams too.  Bugs galore must be a mantra.  Upgrades don't make it better.  Most are just an attempt to fix some glaring errors that need to get closed before anyone notices.  Now with faster machines, the bloated WX runs pretty well, but so do the earlier versions on older hardware.  Too many users want the newest version and forget all about the hardware implications.  Sure, it'll run, but slowly.  Users who had XP working very well attempted the upgrade and failed terribly.  M$ forgot to pass on all the source codes for many printers and scanners.  Audio cards needed patches to keep in sync with video and a list of other forced changes making previous peripherals inoperable.  Screaming to go back where it worked right, XP is still prolific.  Home built units run up against this all the time and the hardware is usually running the max to start with and an upgrade pushes it over the edge.  Lock-ups, reboots, loops and BSOD abound after new installs and often multiple loadings with different install sequences to support optional hardware might be needed to avoid overwriting previous entries of interrupts and registry.  It might sound easy but it never is.  To avoid the most common problems, buy a new machine with the desired OS already loaded so you know it works, that's the whole idea, new hardware to support the new OS.



#10 Just_One_Question

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Posted 21 July 2017 - 11:56 PM

Yes! Like way-too-old women who still put on tons of make-up trying to push themselves as pretty. Accept it. Your days on the dating scene are over.

 

Buy a new computer, people:lmao:



#11 softeyes

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Posted 22 July 2017 - 12:25 AM

<snip>  To avoid the most common problems, buy a new machine with the desired OS already loaded so you know it works, that's the whole idea, new hardware to support the new OS.

 

Not necessarily true: June 2017 my 8 month old Dell laptop, preloaded with Windows 10 bricked with version 1703 Creators update. July 2017 new Lenovo laptop, off the shelf preloaded with Windows 10 version 1607, during the initial new computer set-up version 1703 Creators update took place, laptop bricked.

 

To infinity there was no way to prove if the new hardware or OS Windows 10, or other software were the fault? All interior/exterior components along with software were new.



#12 cat1092

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Posted 22 July 2017 - 04:49 AM

softeyes, the same happened to me with my HP dc5800 SFF PC with the Anniversary Update. :(

 

The really odd thing was that I had used the machine throughout the W10 previews, to near the end. Therefore, I had no reason to believe that W10 would brick my PC the instant I inserted my wireless card (the OS wouldn't install with the Ethernet cable in place), which by then had been reloaded with 7 Ultimate to use the TPM for drive security. Had ran great for close to two years, was a steal for $99 with free shipping. Fortunately, had backups of the data before it was bricked, and a lot was on OneDrive, Google Drive & Dropbox, so most of what was lost was the PC, as (fortunately) I disabled Bitlocker & allowed the drives to decrypt prior to the botched W10 upgrade. I tried several times with a Win98 boot disk & the BIOS update on it for reflash, once came close, because was showing, then went out before I could do anything. Maybe sometime I'll try again, have several other working computers (most with 2 or 3 OS's) to keep up & next to no time to play with the dead. In fact, was able to call Microsoft & use the license on another PC, so now would be illegal (with that COA) to use with the recovery media set or partition. The OS imaged prior to the upgrade is useless w/out the COA, although could make a good Linux PC. First time in my life that I've seen a OS brick a PC & hopefully the last. :)

 

Microsoft should have to pay those for damages when their OS's bricks their customers machines, while a small percentage of users received settlements, the majority didn't, even in the days (over 2 years ago) if the computer was left on, would self-update to W10 overnight. That's stepping across the line to shove an unwanted OS on their computer (later on, they would say that this was wrong) & then causes the owner to be w/out one after all is said & done. Many users blocked certain updates that would cause this, and the same ones would be released again, modified, and pushed as a security update, secretly installed, and like a snake in the grass, W10 was being installed, either when one was using the computer, or worse, like myself, installed when forgot to shut down. If this were a small business owner running on a tight budget, would be a total disaster, especially if the computer(s) were bricked, or loss of data took place. At the least, the inconvenience of having to revert to a recent backup could take a few hours, and wouldn't be able to process credit/debit card transactions during the process, as many prefers to use plastic for consumer protection & carries little cash. 

 

There's no telling how many millions of computers were dropped in the outdoor recycle container, hopefully with their drive(s) removed, over W10 bricking these. :angry:

 

Cat


Performing full disc images weekly and keeping important data off of the 'C' drive as generated can be the best defence against Malware/Ransomware attacks, as well as a wide range of other issues. 


#13 britechguy

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Posted 22 July 2017 - 10:10 AM

Microsoft has kept a lot of people busy making things right on their units. . . . Home built units run up against this all the time and the hardware is usually running the max to start with and an upgrade pushes it over the edge.  Lock-ups, reboots, loops and BSOD abound after new installs and often multiple loadings with different install sequences to support optional hardware might be needed to avoid overwriting previous entries of interrupts and registry.  It might sound easy but it never is.  To avoid the most common problems, buy a new machine with the desired OS already loaded so you know it works, that's the whole idea, new hardware to support the new OS.

 

I'd love it if just this portion of what you wrote could be repeated as many times as necessary and absorbed by every PC user on the planet.

 

Virtually every rant, rave, and whine I hear about Windows 10 comes from folks who installed it on machines that were custom built or that their own OEMs never certified as being compatible with Windows 10.  The miracle is that Windows 10 often runs as well, or better, on some of this hardware than the previous versions of Windows did, but the OS itself is not everything, there are all the peripherals and internal add-ons to consider.

 

Why people believe that any given piece of hardware is, will be, or should be supported in perpetuity by either its own OEM or Microsoft (or any OS maker, for that matter) eludes me entirely.   I always run my stuff to "the dying point" but there always is a dying point, whether that is actual equipment failure or failure of the equipment to be functional in the way it's supposed to be functional.   You simply cannot expect a 10-year-old piece of equipment to necessarily work perfectly with a version of Windows it was never intended to run, though I have a Gateway Desktop that's 32-bit that went from Win7 Ultimate to Win10 Pro like a champ, and could have failed miserably.   Had it failed miserably that would have rested squarely on my shoulders and would have been a failed experiment, not a fault of Microsoft's.  

 

[Microsoft has plenty of legitimate blame to take for a lot of things, but trying to get blood out of the proverbial turnip isn't one of those.] 


Brian  AKA  Bri the Tech Guy (website in my user profile) - Windows 10 Home, 64-Bit, Version 1803, Build 17134 

      Memory is a crazy woman that hoards rags and throws away food.

                    ~ Austin O'Malley

 

 

 

              

 


#14 softeyes

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Posted 22 July 2017 - 02:39 PM

 

Microsoft has kept a lot of people busy making things right on their units. . . . Home built units run up against this all the time and the hardware is usually running the max to start with and an upgrade pushes it over the edge.  Lock-ups, reboots, loops and BSOD abound after new installs and often multiple loadings with different install sequences to support optional hardware might be needed to avoid overwriting previous entries of interrupts and registry.  It might sound easy but it never is.  To avoid the most common problems, buy a new machine with the desired OS already loaded so you know it works, that's the whole idea, new hardware to support the new OS.

 

I'd love it if just this portion of what you wrote could be repeated as many times as necessary and absorbed by every PC user on the planet.

 

Virtually every rant, rave, and whine I hear about Windows 10 comes from folks who installed it on machines that were custom built or that their own OEMs never certified as being compatible with Windows 10.  The miracle is that Windows 10 often runs as well, or better, on some of this hardware than the previous versions of Windows did, but the OS itself is not everything, there are all the peripherals and internal add-ons to consider.

 

Why people believe that any given piece of hardware is, will be, or should be supported in perpetuity by either its own OEM or Microsoft (or any OS maker, for that matter) eludes me entirely.   I always run my stuff to "the dying point" but there always is a dying point, whether that is actual equipment failure or failure of the equipment to be functional in the way it's supposed to be functional.   You simply cannot expect a 10-year-old piece of equipment to necessarily work perfectly with a version of Windows it was never intended to run, though I have a Gateway Desktop that's 32-bit that went from Win7 Ultimate to Win10 Pro like a champ, and could have failed miserably.   Had it failed miserably that would have rested squarely on my shoulders and would have been a failed experiment, not a fault of Microsoft's.  

 

[Microsoft has plenty of legitimate blame to take for a lot of things, but trying to get blood out of the proverbial turnip isn't one of those.] 

 

 

Hi britechguy  :)  For discussion: What concerns me here with the statement highlighted in blue (New hardware to support the new software.)(from post #9,)

 

If that statement was true, can you or @mjd420nova explain, from my personal experience, why a brand new laptop running Windows 10, delivered by UPS, opened up, turned on, to perform all initial set up processes (that we all know to do with a brand new never ever used computer) then during the initial setup Microsoft's most current security takes place before you ever see your "HI" Welcome splash screen or have even seen your desktop...the computer bricks?  We are talking about a new $1500.00 laptop here, manufactured May 2017 which can't get much newer. Not refurbished, not old, not an upgrade from W7 to W10 as an example. Not custom built or with OEM's. 

 

My point being, there's no guarantee that new is better with regards to the current Windows 10 debacle, or anything on this planet. 

 

 

Please know that my intent here is not to bash Microsoft or Windows 10. Like your older computer successes, I run Windows 10 on a very old 2009 laptop with 1703 Creators 10 update, old hardware with new software. Your discussion about other than 'new' is certainly valid. For me, thank goodness for BC!!!



#15 britechguy

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Posted 22 July 2017 - 04:27 PM

My response, and there's no way to confirm or refute it, is that you got a bum computer.

 

I have never, ever seen a case where it was the OS proper that bricked anything.  It can generally be traced to either hardware failure or firmware (e.g., UEFI) failure.

 

You yourself know that situations such as you experienced are exceedingly rare, regardless of the OS shipped with the machine.

 

It only makes sense that a machine shipped from a given manufacturer with an OS selected by them should be a sure bet as far as being able to run it.  Barring some sort of very skilled forensic work on the machine that bricked it's unlikely that you, I, or anyone else will ever know definitively what caused the failure.  But going with the law of averages, the probability of the root cause being the operating system is so small as to be rapidly approaching zero.   I've seen BIOS issues brick more than one machine, which is why I am of the "if there's a BIOS update, flash it" camp.  There are others, most of whom bricked machines "way back when" when updating BIOS was a sort of "black art," that will not do so for love nor money.  By extension, I'm the same way about UEFI or firmware of any sort on any device, and all the more so since security patches are very often part and parcel of the reason(s) for updates.


Brian  AKA  Bri the Tech Guy (website in my user profile) - Windows 10 Home, 64-Bit, Version 1803, Build 17134 

      Memory is a crazy woman that hoards rags and throws away food.

                    ~ Austin O'Malley

 

 

 

              

 





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