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Internet pornography - fixing addicted friend's computer


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#1 ZeldaB

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 09:22 PM

I have a friend who is disabled since a motor vehicle accident in the '80s. His disabilities keep him in a wheel chair, and in pain most of the time. He also had head injuries that affected his personality, ability to learn new things, and some other stuff. He doesn't have many friends, and hasn't been on a date since the accident.

 

Some years ago, I gave him a computer and tried to help him learn how to use the 'net for researching stuff he's interested in. He is interested in some neat, technological stuff. I thought that might be something he could do from a wheelchair.

 

Turns out he quickly found his way to "the dark side."  Positive aspect: He does enjoy having a computer.  Negative aspect: He keeps getting wiped out by accessing/downloading stuff from unclean sites. (And ... maybe more negative aspects?)

 

I've told him that he will get malware if he continues to visit those sites. He understands that. He does it anyway. I do not know if he has paid for any of this. I don't know whether he'd answer truthfully if I asked him.

 

I've helped him get back online a few times. Once a couple of years ago, I saw some of the images he was downloading. They were graphic but not (to me) disturbing. Seemed to be consenting adults.  Now he's been crashed again. Brought computer home, and now I'm seeing really ugly, disturbing stuff. 

 

I did get rid of some things on there that were preventing him from accessing the 'net, and I think I'll be able to get one other glitch cleaned up, and maybe that'll be enough (?). But now I'm wondering if I'm doing a good thing or a bad thing.

 

Maybe the entity that inserted a "zero access" type infection into his registry was doing the world a service.

 

Jump in there with opinions, please.  I'm interested in knowing what you'd do in this situation.

 

Thank you.

 

 



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#2 Chris Cosgrove

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Posted 20 May 2017 - 06:57 PM

"now I'm seeing really ugly, disturbing stuff."

 

If what you are seeing is illegal by the standards of the jurisdiction you live in then I would suggest you give him a warning and then report him to the authorities the next time you run into it.

 

If it is not illegal but merely disturbing to you then you have the choice either of telling him you don't want to continue supporting him in this way or ignoring it and continuing your support.

 

Chris Cosgrove


I am going to be away on holiday until the 13th May. While I expect to have internet access my time on-line may well be limited and PMs may not be replied to as quickly as normal.


#3 Crazy Cat

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Posted 20 May 2017 - 07:58 PM

At ZeldaB,

Can I make two suggestions?

(1) Tough Friendship: Fix his PC to a fully working state, or just do a fresh install + updates. Then image the entire OS to a recovery USB or DVD. Tell him to use this recovery USB or DVD from now on when malware crashes his PC. He'll ask why? Then you tell him why, "now I'm seeing really ugly, disturbing stuff."

(2) Turn a blind eye and just be a good Samaritan.
 

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. ― Albert Einstein ― Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.

 

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#4 ZeldaB

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 04:03 PM

Thanks. Both good answers, with aspects I appreciate.



#5 SuperSapien64

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 05:36 PM

I know might be a little late but maybe a intervention would be a good idea. Porn addiction is no joke it can consume your life much like video game addiction can.



#6 NicoForce

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 09:01 PM

If I were in your shoes, I'd tell him anyway, not turn a blind eye.

 

If you truly are his friend, there's no need for you to restrict him from seeing what he wants to see; however, be sure to just talk about it like friends who discuss different topics (like religion, politics, different taste in videogames and so on).

 

He might even tell you whatever he sees on those things, maybe he sees beauty or it helps him forget his pain, even if temporary.

 

If you feel to uncomfortable in those topics, I guess turning a blind eye is the last stand.



#7 GoofProg

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Posted 24 May 2017 - 08:59 AM

Pfft.. he is still human.  Hey even RETARDS probably look at porn.  What are people going to have an anti RETARD porn law?  Human being like to see pretty things.  I was blinded and I recovered my eye sight.. I love pretty things and to see people shag is a treat after my divorce.



#8 SuperSapien64

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Posted 24 May 2017 - 09:42 PM

Well GoofProg porn is OK in moderation just like other things in life, but when it becomes a compulsion then you need to get help even if its self help.


Edited by SuperSapien64, 24 May 2017 - 09:43 PM.


#9 Nagilz

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Posted 10 July 2017 - 11:25 PM

Hi ZeldaB, 
Sorry to hear about your friend's condition. People become addicted to pornography due to three main reasons: accessibility, availability, and anonymity.
Porn is literally accessible to anyone online. Although a computer's IP address is visible to an ISP, the illusion of privacy attracts more people to porn who are reluctant to exhibit their sexual interests openly.
Being the best friend of that guy, you must take the necessary steps to help him to come out of the addiction. Help him to select a system to monitor and change his behavior. Set schedules in order to limit the duration of use of computer and ask him to set apart an hour each day to write about his feelings in a journal. If he seems to be depressed or stressed, ask him to practice relaxation techniques like yoga, meditation and breathing exercises.
If you want to read more about how to deal with porn addiction, you can go through http://edgewoodhealthnetwork.com/blog/porn-addiction-a-growing-problem/ 
Hope this helped. Thanks!


#10 frogbreath

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Posted 11 July 2017 - 02:48 AM

If this was my friend I'd find him a game to play maybe something with some social interaction with real people I don't know many games but I'm sure people will give some ideas of social games he can play that will stimulate his mind and have some social interaction involved. I'd also create a host file to the block porn sites he visits  and stop him getting infected. Get him a safe search tool so he gets green ticks next to safe links and red crosses next to bad ones.  Bitdefender and avira do free safe search browser tools. Use an av set to automatic update and maybe use malwarebytes antimalware which blocks bad sites in real time and stops a lot of threats in real time but only the full version I'm afraid.

Depending on what country you live in you may be able to get him some help from a professional if he was my friend I'd see what's available for him. Maybe a dating site for people with disability's of which there are a few around you'd be amazed.

Best of luck with whatever you do.



#11 malwaredpc

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Posted 11 July 2017 - 09:21 AM

To block porn sites you can do it with DNS. But mmm "ugly, disturbing stuff" ... what you mean? Something that is illegal? Like a trip to the zoo? In that case I would say that you tell him to stay safe he shall use i2p for example. If it is illegal and you don't put him in safety, the least problems are porn addiction and system infected with malware because he will be in other place... where you will see him as one of zoo animals behind those bars.



#12 frogbreath

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Posted 11 July 2017 - 12:55 PM

Not sure what your on about malwaredpc. I'm not recommending anything illegal far from it.



#13 malwaredpc

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Posted 12 July 2017 - 07:01 AM

What are you talking about, frogbreath? My response is to the OP.



#14 frogbreath

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Posted 12 July 2017 - 10:46 AM

lol ok



#15 malwaredpc

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Posted 12 July 2017 - 07:07 PM

:)






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