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Why I feel the need to help others.


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#1 Trikein

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Posted 20 July 2016 - 12:56 PM

I don't know if this effects others, but since I have worked in Technical Support for several companies, I have felt a increased need to help people in the public sector. Maybe it's because I feel guilty for having to follow all the stupid rules and scripts some companies forced me to follow. Maybe it's because the only way I can feel good about myself is if I am fixing something. Maybe it's because it's the only way I know how to socialize. Either way it is somewhat of a infliction. What started out as me having fun helping people now feels like a responsibility. I would sometimes get frustrated with people asking obvious questions because I felt it was my responsibility to answer them, when in reality, it was my choice to even read the thread. When this would happen, I would take a break or find a different forum for a while.  I have gotten to the point where I feel like I don't have the emotional energy to help others anymore, yet I still have the desire for that good feeling you get when fixing a hard to solve problem.  I was wondering if anyone had these experiences and what their thoughts were on it. Not looking for a solution, because I know it's all internal, but I am looking for others inflicted. Misery loves company.  :cowboy:



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#2 Animal

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Posted 20 July 2016 - 01:50 PM

I've been fortunate to meet many gifted people helping me with my career and everyday life. Most often when I asked how I could repay the kindness. The answer was 'pay it forward', or 'spread the knowledge'. So that's how I came to do what I do. I'm heeding the suggestion, in how to repay all those wonderful people who have been there for me. When I needed an answer, guidance or taught how to do something.

So when when people ask me how to repay. I say the same thing. Pass it on. Yeah it does feel good knowing you helped someone, and they just might do the same.

Thanks for sharing your story, Trikein.

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#3 Trikein

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Posted 20 July 2016 - 02:02 PM

 So that's how I came to do what I do. I'm heeding the suggestion, in how to repay all those wonderful people who have been there for me. When I needed an answer, guidance or taught how to do something.
 

 

I think you hit the nail right on the head. I think my inner frustration doesn't stem from helping others too much, but the feeling that no one is ever there for me when I need help. I am "the nerd" in my family and very small circle of friends, so any time anything comes up slightly techno-logic, I am the one who is called. However, when I have a problem, usually it is complicated enough that none of my friends or co-workers can help. I have payed forward all I have and now I am emotionally broke.  I know I need to unplug, but I don't have a good enough life to unplug to. :-(



#4 Animal

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Posted 20 July 2016 - 02:19 PM

We have a saying among the staff here "Real Life Comes First". If you don't enjoy doing what you do, then it becomes a chore or like a job. Thats not fun. Helping on a forum or as a volunteer in real life needs to be rewarding for yourself in some way. If it's not, it's time to find a different outlet. Or you become frustrated and not really helping. Inasmuch as finding an outlet for frustration. Which is actually counterproductive for yourself as well as those you attempt to be helping.

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life.
Andrew Brown (1938-1994)


A learning experience is one of those things that say, "You know that thing you just did? Don't do that." Douglas Adams (1952-2001)


"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination circles the world." Albert Einstein (1879-1955)


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#5 Trikein

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Posted 20 July 2016 - 02:58 PM

"If it's not, it's time to find a different outlet."

Yea, what I didn't mention is the problem is deeper then just a frusterating hobby. I suffer from high functioning autism which makes socailizing extremly hard. I also have some physical disabilities that make getting out difficult, which has me on disability. My choices are pretty much either help people online, or waste time playing video games all day. As the man said: "Solitude is a hard won ally". But I won't bore this forum with my problems. Thanks for the input.



#6 DodoIso

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Posted 21 July 2016 - 06:41 AM

For me, I've always been in an environment where everybody exchange their ideas with everybody (computer club at a young age anyone?) so it's the way I see things by default.  It's not much a "pay forward" motivation, but it kind of becomes the same thing in time when looking back.

 

As for you, dear Trikein, I sense a feeling of being tied-up.  I think you should tell all what you are feeling to a professional, just to help you visualize different possibilities offered to you.  Start with your doctor!



#7 Guest_hollowface_*

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Posted 21 July 2016 - 09:01 PM


I was wondering if anyone had these experiences and what their thoughts were on it.

-REF:http://www.bleepingcomputer.com/forums/t/620578/why-i-feel-the-need-to-help-others/#entry4045332

 

I too participate in forums for the enjoyment of it, and have left forums because it became stressful rather than enjoyable. :(

 


I have gotten to the point where I feel like I don't have the emotional energy to help others anymore, yet I still have the desire for that good feeling you get when fixing a hard to solve problem.

-REF:http://www.bleepingcomputer.com/forums/t/620578/why-i-feel-the-need-to-help-others/#entry4045332

 

There are other ways to contribute here on BC. Like making tutorials, or engaging in discussion topics.






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