This is the sad story of a man who succumbs to Bacillus Upgradus, a lamentably all too common infection that nevertheless goes untreated and is more rampant than an already randy bull on viagra. The tale begins as Lara Croft jerks and staggers across a monitor screen in England, her graphics card failing miserably to render her busom in anything remotely resembling HD. Let's hear an interview with the victim.
"So how did it all start, you sad git?"
"Well, I had a functional Dell Inspiron 531, bought in 2007...at least it was functional in the same way that a working Ford Model T will still get you around the Nurburgring. Now, I didn't want a Bugatti Veyron, but something that could even reach 60 mph was needed.
I couldn't afford to buy a brand new PC that was good for gaming, so I decided to build one. I was not, absolutely not, going to be tempted into buying all sorts of pointless and gimmicky parephenalia. I would have a sensible, plain looking machine that nobody would look at twice."
"That sounds very practical: the sort of thing a normal person would think. So what went wrong?"
" Nothing at first, but as it progressed, the project seemed to have a life of its own and I was suddenly in control of nothing. First, I decided on a minimum CPU speed (for the newer versions of my beloved Tomb Raider games that I couldn't run). Of course, I upped the spec a bit to be sure: well, I'd be sick if Tomb Raider 2016 came along and I couldn't play it, wouldn't I? That also meant I needed more RAM than my 32-bit OS could chew. Oh dear. 64- bit and 8GB of Kingston Hyper-x Fury later, that was surely the end of it?"
"You really have lost the plot. Do you mind if I go out of the room for a quick laugh?"
"Absolutely not, but bear in mind that I was trying to cram all this into the shoebox that is a Dell Inspiron case...my shoehorn wasn't good enough. Next came a new Coolermaster case and Mobo: oh and a Zalman CPU cooler so that Lara Croft doesn't break into a sweat when she's battling undead creatures or free-climbing dizzying heights. Did I forget to mention that I had to buy a Corsair PSU to handle the new gear?"
"Ah, that's better. I missed a bit there but never mind: Corsair PSU, you said?"
"Yes. I tried to calm the demon of upgrades that lurked within me and was threatening to take over my mind, but to no avail. My pitiful efforts to quench the raging fire of the beast only involved compromising by buying a budget N300 case. When it arrived, I was instantly uneasy, as demonic shrieks echoed in my head. The inside of my rig simply wasn't going to look right and I'd made the mistake of getting a case with a window, so that people would witness my abject failure. Not only that, but I am an engineer and didn't like the configuration of the two supplied fans and the case ventilation."
"Ha! What a loser!"
"Hey! I fought long and hard with my personal diabolic adversary! The mental struggle would have rivalled Gandalf's heroic and selfless sacrifice at the hands of the Balrog in Khazad Dum (Well, not quite, but I definitely refused to spend any more money for at least an hour*). Finally, my head hanging in abject shame, I purchased some Coolermaster Jetflow blue LED fans and by now my will had completely failed: I even bought blue LED lighting, arguing to myself that it was not a great cost and would not strain the peripheral 12V supply too much."
"Could you finish up, now? The bar closes in an hour."
" Yes, Sorry. I couldn't even avoid buying a Ben-Q monitor (but it is nice). I am a beaten man. You understand don't you?"
"Nope. Not a chance. So what's next?"
"The next thing you know, I'll be powering bl**dy fairie lights off my keyboard. In an act of defiance, I think I'll paint flowers on the PC case."
"Nutty as a fruitcake! I'm off for a beer."
I'm sure you'll agree that this is indeed a sad case. More should be done to ensure that these people are treated promptly: at least, the price of PC components and peripherals could be reduced in the UK to keep them from going bankrupt!
* This is probably an exaggeration.
Edited by raptorman, 14 November 2014 - 04:06 PM.