Hey there Rusty.Not, welcome to Bleeping Computer.
I understand that newbie feeling with Win8, I've fussed around on a few machines with Win8 on it and wasn't impressed. Not a hater, mind you, just didn't really care for it. I did help one friend get that Start Menu button back and that helped a bit.
As for the ongoing newbie feeling, I'm currently (even as I type this) stumbling and surfing with Fedora19 and it has required quite a bit of hands-on with the tweaking that I want to do to it. It's not quite the set-and-forget that the more popular Linux distros can be, but I'm learning....slowly.
So again, welcome.
Photobucket removed my cool flag - idiots!
Every calculation based on experience elsewhere fails in New Mexico.