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Raising Kids In Today's World!


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16 replies to this topic

#1 Pandy

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Posted 11 April 2006 - 01:45 PM

I don't know who wrote this. It is highly amusing for me tho so I thought I would share. lol

(Hmmm, I wonder if we have any Clorox, I know I have some brake fluid in the garage) ROFL..

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.


The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas:

Things I've learned from my children (honest & no kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few a times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh Oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies .
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue IS forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
20. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
21. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
22. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
23. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
24. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
25. The mind of a 6-year old is amazing.

First grade...true story: One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs in her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said, Holy ???, a talking Pig!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.


60% of the men who read this will try the Clorox and Brake Fluid.

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?

~ Benjamin Franklin

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#2 cowsgonemadd3

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Posted 11 April 2006 - 03:06 PM

You know this is pitiful...
"60% of the men who read this will try the Clorox and Brake Fluid."
So true because I was going to try it! Still might do it for a fun.

I think this one if a funny one!

Edited by cowsgonemadd3, 11 April 2006 - 03:06 PM.


#3 Scarlett

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Posted 11 April 2006 - 03:07 PM

:thumbsup: :flowers:
Those are good ones Pandy!
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#4 Pandy

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Posted 11 April 2006 - 03:34 PM

I am personally aquainted with numbers 7, 16, 19 and 20. TY I thought it was cute. lol

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?

~ Benjamin Franklin

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#5 KoanYorel

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Posted 11 April 2006 - 04:50 PM

Koan knows all and so I move this post.

Just to keep me diapers dry...

Very funny.
The only easy day was yesterday.

...some do, some don't; some will, some won't (WR)

#6 yano

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Posted 11 April 2006 - 04:50 PM

You know this is pitiful...
"60% of the men who read this will try the Clorox and Brake Fluid."
So true because I was going to try it! Still might do it for a fun.

I think this one if a funny one!


Yea. I was just about to try that too. :thumbsup:

#7 currmac

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Posted 13 April 2006 - 09:16 AM

:thumbsup: :flowers: :trumpet: :inlove: :cool:
INSPIRE TO VICTORY

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#8 legoman786

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Posted 14 April 2006 - 06:13 PM

Even though I read these elsewhere, it's still funny to read what children can do!!

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
- Rick Cook


#9 boopme

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Posted 14 April 2006 - 10:17 PM

Oh man that's just hilarious..
How do I get help? Who is helping me?For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear....Become a BleepingComputer fan: Facebook

#10 graveangel

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Posted 19 June 2006 - 01:15 PM

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha,so so true :thumbsup: :flowers: :trumpet: :inlove: :) :cool:
....And on the 8th day God said, "When my children are intelligent, and create the Computer, for my sake may they never screw around with the registry or subscribe to AOL"Posted Image

#11 heracles

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Posted 09 February 2007 - 10:12 AM

:flowers: lolll
:trumpet: :thumbsup:

#12 tink536

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Posted 09 February 2007 - 07:15 PM

:thumbsup: :flowers:
I guess I'll consider that birth control! :trumpet:

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I search for Sjogrens Syndrome Foundation...Who will you search for?


#13 BlackSpyder

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Posted 10 February 2007 - 07:46 PM

12. Super glue IS forever.


This is where the Brake Fluid comes in. (or rubbing alcohol, paint thinner/striper/reducer, or other skin drying agent)


You know this is pitiful...
"60% of the men who read this will try the Clorox and Brake Fluid."
So true because I was going to try it! Still might do it for a fun.

I think this one if a funny one!


Yea. I was just about to try that too. :flowers:


Already done it it's COOL!!!! :thumbsup:

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#14 athelos

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Posted 25 February 2007 - 11:18 AM

:thumbsup: Ahhh. Memories of when i was that age...I didnt know about the brake fluid thing. I wonder if we have some in our garage?...........
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
--Charles Schultz

#15 MissPlaced

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Posted 15 June 2013 - 01:37 AM

Did  You know that college kids lose all their common sence???

It's true they do!!

My son's college roommate graduated with his degree in Arcitecture......

Has ajob as an Arcitec......(SP?).....He had let the dishes pile up at his home..so he got the bright idea to put them ALL in the bed of his pickup.......And take them to the carwash.....it didn't work out so hot.......



You want to be great, Learn how to heal people, To hurt people is easy


Be Kinder then you have to be,you never know what battle someone else is fighting~~~
~~~~Martrys song~~~~~
~~~~My Deliverer~~~~~~




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