I totally understand where you are coming from. Some days I'd rather not look at my compiler and I just dont want to turn on my brain. Don't worry about speed, especially if this is your first language. If you are just getting into program development their are some concepts that seem obscure and don't make sense but in time you will understand why they are what they are.
My biggest rule when learning how to program is don't focus too much on learning by reading. Learn by doing! Sure, if your just getting error after error and the compilers are just giving you some cryptic error message that doesn't really make sense and you don't have a clue, that is when you crack open the book. Read the concept maybe once or twice, take some key notes and then challenge your self. If your learning loops, write a program that counts to 10 with a loop. You can read all day about the difference between a for..next loop and a do...while loop but if you can watch the code execute step after step you might understand whats going on better.
Don't be so hard on yourself! Learning programming is FAR from a cake walk, it takes time. Malcolm Gladwell says that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert in a field. Say your working a full time job programming 40 hours a week, thats still 5 years! Perhaps your not going to expert level but understand that these things take time.
Set goals. Say you want to get through 3 or 4 chapters in a month. Structure it like a class. Quiz yourself, assign "homework" to get some practice in the code. And take notes! Before you know it 6 months later your at the end of the book and you will have this large stack of notes and homework programs and tests etc. that you can go back through at anytime to reference those concepts again.
Edited by xXAlphaXx, 21 August 2012 - 08:39 PM.