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How A Man Survives Marriage

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#1 afterhours


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Posted 02 March 2006 - 05:06 PM

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach in
Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of
the town. "What a peaceful & loving couple".

The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long
and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America, " explained the man. "We
visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of
the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled
and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said,
"That's once."

"We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again, this time
causing her to drop her water. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's

"We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for a third time. My
wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I shouted at her, "What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor
animal like that? Are you crazy??

"She looked at me, and quietly said, "That's once."

"And from that moment... we have lived happily ever after."

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#2 yano


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Posted 02 March 2006 - 08:39 PM


I guess the quote

I'm warning you!!!

Is taken very literal. :flowers:

#3 Heretic Monkey

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Posted 02 March 2006 - 08:59 PM

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."

The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.

She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a much better lover than you."

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger increases.

She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.

She says, "I want the kids, too."

The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph.

She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards, too."

The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"

The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."

She asks, "What's that?"

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got
the airbag!"


#4 yano


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Posted 02 March 2006 - 09:04 PM

:thumbsup: :flowers: See this is why when I get married someday, I defintely hope I never have to go through divorce.... :trumpet:

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