You Might be a Redneck Jedi if...
* Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
* You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.
* You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
* At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.
* There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
* You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word "chicken".
* You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
* You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
* A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
* You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.
* Your master ever said, "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
* You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
* You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
* The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
* Wookies are offended by your B.O.
* You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
* You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
* You have ever used a lightsaber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
* Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side, it'll be a hoot."
* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
* The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.
* You have a stuffed womp rat anywhere in your home.
* You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag.
* More than half the droids you own don't function.
* The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q.
* You wonder why Luke and Leia gave up on getting married.
* You used a carbon-freezing chamber to mount the Wampa you shot while on vacation on Hoth.
* Your moonshine is made on a real moon.
* You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in your back pocket.
* Sandpeople back down from your mama.
* You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI.
* You've ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at your accent.
* You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac.
* You've ever argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid.
* A Wookie has ever told you that you need to shave.
* You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while trying to light a cigarette with your lightsaber.
* You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.
* You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.
* You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem.
* The Rancor monster refused to eat you.
* You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.
* You discover that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father. And your uncle. And your brother...
Edited by AtThePub, 07 December 2005 - 10:57 PM.