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Night Before Christmas

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#1 michaelg2020


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Posted 22 December 2011 - 12:20 PM

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the site,
No data was moving, not even a byte.
The SysAdmin fumed at the server, and wept,
For only a miracle could save this project.
The integrators nestled all snug in their beds,
As visions of ‘overtime’ danced in their heads.

When out at the Helpdesk, there arose such a clatter,
Helpdesk said a blade server had something the matter.
I arrived on the site and realized with a start,
On top of everything else, we ordered the wrong part.
There was smoke pouring out of the new server rack,
And no one could help, not even HP/ Compaq.

“No problem,” I thought, “I’ve got Arcserve to thank.”
And that’s when we found that the tapes were all blank.
Tech support's under contract, so I ran to the phone,
They were no help, we felt completely alone.

Then out at reception, we heard a soft knock.
I saw it was midnight, as I checked the time clock…
And what, to our wondering eyes, did appear,
But a little old dude, with pizza, and wings, and some beer!

“What’s the problem?” he asked. “Never mind, pal, I know.
I scoped out this project five hours ago.
I did a proactive analysis, and a virus scan and so,
I knew that this time bomb was just about to blow.”

Who was this guy? Who’d he think that he was?
In a suit and a tie, red hat, beard and gloves.
His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean,
From 24/7 calls, sitting in front of a screen.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work.
Made the LAN lab a mess, then he turned with a jerk,
And a wink of an eye, and a twitch of his head,
I knew at that moment we had nothing to dread.

His Project Plan glowed with enhancements so rare,
He’d implement new systems, fix old ones with flair.
More rapid than eagles, his downloads they came,
He muttered and cursed, and called the server some names.

He smiled and he laughed, as he quickly rebooted,
Uploaded more software, and smoothly rerouted.
The network, for us, that he quickly supplied,
Had lots of open bandwidth, a gazillion TERABITS wide!

On Cisco! On Citrix! On IPv6!
Online with the cloud, just watch out for conflicts!
On routers! On hubs! On gigabit switches!
He chanted and fixed all of those nasty old glitches.

He said, “Cheer up, my friend! Lose that mindset so tragic!
Technology often looks like voodoo or magic,
To people who don’t understand what it is that we do.
First emulation, then WAN and now VMware, too!
Do your research, think through it, get management tools,
Debug a bit, test a bit, presto! Your through!”

And laying a finger upon the old “Enter” key,
He brought it all up. And it worked perfectly!
The Updates updated, the Deletes … they deleted,
E-mail was sent. Even the printing completed.

He tested each whistle, he tested each bell,
There were no Blue Screens, Open issues. All had gone well.

The system was finished, the test were concluded,
The users’ last changes, were even included!
Yet the users exclaimed, with a snarl and a taunt,
“It’s just what we asked for, but not what we want!”
“Not what they want!” said I, and then stressed,
“Why, we gave them exactly what’s in the request!”
But our final laugh comes, and you know that it will,
Once the timesheets are in, we’ll send them the bill.

The Admin’s ecstatic! Each system checked out!
Tears of joy in his eyes, as he wandered about.
“However can I thank you? You must be Saint Nick!”
“Not really, my friend, I pull no such trick”
Just never give up hope, and with Windows Server 08,
You must always remember to do the update!”

Then I heard him exclaim, as his reindeer were coursing,
Merry Christmas to all! And consider outsourcing!"

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#2 ~Kal~


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Posted 23 December 2011 - 09:47 AM

Excellent! Loved it :hysterical:

Have a rgeat christmas

Please bear in mind I'm in the UK so our timezones may not always sync.
If I'm helping you and haven't replied within 24 hrs please send me a pm

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