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Hate Computer... arranged marriage... rocky at best


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#1 Bigbopper1

Bigbopper1

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Posted 29 December 2010 - 01:44 PM

I have had no training in computers. Surprise! What I don't know about computers would fill the Library of Congress. 574 1/2 times over and on a particularly bad day make that 583 3/4 times over. I DO know how to type. Come to think about it, typing on the keyboard is about my one and only computer skill. I am studying Russian in my old age (65.. ancient to most computer folk, but comfortable to me).

I just started studying Russian again after a gap of about 40 years and I see that the language hasn't changed. Please don't ask me anything in Russian. I know "Good Morning" "Thank You" and "I am going to the post office to mail a letter"... oh yeah, the biggie: "Ya know what people say? Better late than never"... that is the extent at present. Oh, well I am working my way up to: "Me Man, you woman.... want to Party?" That may take a while and by that time it will take more than 11 shots of Vodka to change me into the Pary Animal of my Remote Past.

In the meantime I have more to learn about the computer as in how to turn the damn thing off so that light from the monitor screen doesn't shine in through the open door all night into my bedroom and keep me up. Ya know, kemo sabe...technical stuff! Yeah, that's the ticket! I went to Frontline about a problem with malware and, of course, Frontline referred me here. I expected to wind up somewhere in a computerized sweat shop in a basement in Islamabad talking to some guy named Muhammed or maybe Amehd who speaks English only as a 5th language and not very well at that. It was a pleasant surprise to find that all of the posts I have reviewed so far are in some rudimentary form of English, corrupted only by T.T. dialect that is unspoken by 98% of those who are old enough to have voted for IKE or to have actually watched Flash Gordon serials on there Black and White TV. Sto eta: T.T. (you ask in pidgeon Russian)? T.T. is, of course: "Tekkie Talk" I don't know enough to phrase questions about computers intelligently, so I will phrase them unintelligetnly if at all I suppose. In the words of Admiral Farragut (maybe, could have been Buffalo Bob from Howdy Doody... I always get those 2 confused...doesn't everybody?): Damn the Torpedoes Full Speed Ahead (or was that Astern, Reverse, To the Rear Swim or whatever?).

I can safely
post this "New Topic" here as my introduction and never fear of residual regret or seller's remorse since I share Lincoln's sentiment that it will not be long remembered, only in my case it will be true. Not much chance anyone out there will read it in the first place and in the second place they would be so enebriated at the time of reading that it won't even be a distant memory when the fog lifts in the morning. That is the only reason I feel free to take literary license and let it all hang out. Dosvedanya... or as we used to say in Oklahoma in what is better known as "Okie French": Awwww REEEVore, bubba!

I guess I am now introduced, eh?

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