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Over expecting Parents


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#1 davidog

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 01:44 AM

BC, I was born into a family with siblings that underachievers and lazy. All of them intelligent people but never studying or working hard enough in school. However I am the last child. My parents are desperate and need one child to succed and make them proud. How do I deal with all this stress?

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#2 Drovers Dog

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 07:25 AM

BC, I was born into a family with siblings that underachievers and lazy. All of them intelligent people but never studying or working hard enough in school. However I am the last child. My parents are desperate and need one child to succed and make them proud. How do I deal with all this stress?


How unusual for an Aussie, Mate?

I was born the Youngest for an over achieving Family back in 1946, since then I have overachieved them all, except in Health, but only just behind there.

Can you tell us how old you are?

People should know you age for this, Mate.

After that I am sure we will try to help out, if we can. I put this in because some Aussies, partiularly young ones are doing silly things lately.

Just because it is an Internatioinal Forum, does not mean BC Members will just pass on what you say.

Ray
What ever you give to others, you will get back doubled, Just make sure you only give Nice Things?......DD saying

There is a saying, "You just can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear" it means "to be happy with what you have and not look for the impossible"......DD saying

The "Spirit" of the people who died, on that terrible day 9/11 will NEVER REST until such time as the "Imbeciles" that caused it, are eliminated through out the World.....DD saying

What is a Dog?

#3 davidog

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Posted 01 September 2010 - 02:27 AM

I am just about to finish the HSC. Just to start some consevation, who do you want to win the election?

Edited by davidog, 01 September 2010 - 02:31 AM.


#4 Drovers Dog

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Posted 01 September 2010 - 08:59 AM

I am just about to finish the HSC. Just to start some consevation, who do you want to win the election?


Actually, Democracy won it, Mate. :thumbsup:

The Australian Public clearly said that they diddn't trust either Major Party.

Both Parties are too Broke to fight another Election, that would quite honestly deliver the same Message, another Hung Parliment.

Trust Aussies to do that and let a few People aid in ruling the Country, it is an interesting thing in our History. Meantime it costs this Country $50 million a day in Wages for Public Servants just sitting on their arse waiting.

BTW, I can relate to your Problem, I have 6 Kids, 10 Grand Kids, some older than my last 2 Kids and 1 Great Grand Kid. None of them have matched me so far. Cheer up and give it your best shot? You are young yet, let it be an experience that you, yourself, feel proud of. Just ignore the Y Generation and do what you feel is best for yourself. Just give it your Best shot. I am sure that your Parents would LOVE to be Proud of you, but also will be proud of you if you try your best and do not succeed. I certainly will be, Mate.

BTW, to others you are around 18 if going for HSC. People overseas do not understand HSC, it is Australian for Higher School Certificate and involves Year 12, also mainly applies to New South Wales, where I grew up as a young man, in Narrandera.

Link to it http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narrandera

I honestly have not been back there since I buried my Mom in 1985, Mate. My other Family was in Queensland by then, soon joined by my Sister that guided our Mum through her final years.

BTW, Al Grassby was a very close Friend of mine, funny that he was born in Brisbane, where I now Live, that I am particularly proud of, he was the Father of Multiculturism in Australia, I honestly attempt to follow on with his work online as best as I ever can. I also know from my time that allegations made against him were totally unfounded and most where made after his death. That was just so sad to a wonderful Man. If you just aim to be someone like him, you will do well, but it is a Hard road to Travel, Mate, I really know that.

Link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Grassby


Ray.

Edited by Drovers Dog, 01 September 2010 - 10:08 AM.

What ever you give to others, you will get back doubled, Just make sure you only give Nice Things?......DD saying

There is a saying, "You just can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear" it means "to be happy with what you have and not look for the impossible"......DD saying

The "Spirit" of the people who died, on that terrible day 9/11 will NEVER REST until such time as the "Imbeciles" that caused it, are eliminated through out the World.....DD saying

What is a Dog?

#5 davidog

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 04:33 AM

Narrandera sounds like a lovely place. I have always wanted to see a small town (Urban guy) and always wanted what the country life is like.

#6 JonM33

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Posted 06 September 2010 - 07:51 AM

BC, I was born into a family with siblings that underachievers and lazy. All of them intelligent people but never studying or working hard enough in school. However I am the last child. My parents are desperate and need one child to succed and make them proud. How do I deal with all this stress?


If a parent needs a child to succeed to be proud of them then that is a sign of bad parenting. You accept your children for who they are. Your job as a parent is to raise them and provide for them until your death.

#7 Spectacle

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Posted 10 September 2010 - 01:45 PM

I would say that a parent's job is to lead, guide and demonstrate by example, in order to rightly prepare their offspring for their own futures. That is, Truth, Morality and Virtue are the 3 things most needed in a parent's makeup, followed by Personal Responsibility, Determination and Dedication. These 6 things are the foundation for a family and for a child's proper upbringing and should be the family inheritance passed down to all.

It should go without saying that a primary need in the makeup of a parent is the ability to understand, live and share true and actual Love, for others in addition to themselves.

In most cases a perceived failure on the child's part is either because the parent or parents lacked the needed qualifications for the job at hand; or else the one making the assessment of failure is using unrealistic or unfair measures of comparison. It is rare indeed that the 'child', when viewed as an older product of their upbringing, is found to be solely at fault for their own poor character, though it does happen.

One's main interest should not be in the assessment of their siblings, comparing to themselves, or in judging the parents; but rather in doing all that is in their power to be the person they ought to be. One fully possessed of the above positive character traits will never be poor in the truest since, even though they might live in poverty in respect of worldly goods & riches.

In all cases the character of another person is entirely their problem, except where we are in a position to positively influence their condition in some way. Where another's character flaws become a burden or a danger to others we have laws and/or rights of exclusion towards them in our own personal society.

Daily we see people who are all tied up in matters of 'fixing' others to their own perceived standards of excellence, while ignoring the much more important work of attending to the same standards as applied to themselves.

Also in all cases a parent's job is to fully prepare a child for a rewarding adult life, then letting them go at the earliest possble time to begin living that life for themselves. After that they need only provide support services to help the child as they make their own ways within the world.
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