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Here's One For Ya !


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#1 Jove

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Posted 15 December 2009 - 11:26 PM


This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have
been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which

was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.
Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently
suing the WordPerfect organization for

'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):









Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared'

Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I
type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great... Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just
one? '

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are... I need you to look back there again and
find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer..'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

Caller: 'No..'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
way over?'

Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's
because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark?'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window.'

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not?'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power ...... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff that your computer came in?'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to
the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too dumb to own a computer!'





When you don't have to worry about your computer anymore, you can start
living again !

vrwqzc.gif
Success is a result, not a goal. . . . Flaubert


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#2 Animal

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Posted 15 December 2009 - 11:31 PM

Not quite factual: http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperfect.asp :thumbsup:

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life.
Andrew Brown (1938-1994)


A learning experience is one of those things that say, "You know that thing you just did? Don't do that." Douglas Adams (1952-2001)


"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination circles the world." Albert Einstein (1879-1955)


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#3 Jove

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 12:54 AM

Awww! OK !!, . .

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer: 'OK.'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------

When you don't have to worry about your computer anymore, you can start
living again !

vrwqzc.gif
Success is a result, not a goal. . . . Flaubert


#4 ThunderZ

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 08:32 AM

Not quite factual: http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperfect.asp :flowers:



kill joy. :thumbsup:

#5 garmanma

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 11:04 AM

I do know a few people where I would actually believe that story was about them :thumbsup:
Mark
Posted Image
why won't my laptop work?

Having grandkids is God's way of giving you a 2nd chance because you were too busy working your butt off the 1st time around
Do not send me PMs with problems that should be posted in the forums. Keep it in the forums, so everyone benefits
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#6 Jove

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 11:30 AM

Posted Image

When you don't have to worry about your computer anymore, you can start
living again !

vrwqzc.gif
Success is a result, not a goal. . . . Flaubert


#7 garmanma

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 12:02 PM

Present company excluded, of course :thumbsup:
Mark
Posted Image
why won't my laptop work?

Having grandkids is God's way of giving you a 2nd chance because you were too busy working your butt off the 1st time around
Do not send me PMs with problems that should be posted in the forums. Keep it in the forums, so everyone benefits
Become a BleepingComputer fan: Facebook and Twitter

#8 xXAlphaXx

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 12:37 PM

Geez, Animal. Its still good for a laugh why do you have too ruin our fun :thumbsup:
If I am helping you and I do not respond within 24 hours, please send me a PM. :)

#9 Guest_Abacus 7_*

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 01:06 PM

:trumpet:

Slightly off Topic, but appropiate for my Pommie Mate? Hang in there Jove.

Aussie Blonde died and was sent to Heaven..

Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of ?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '?


The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'


The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought.

The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'

'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'

'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven.


Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'

'Andy??'

'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled.'

And the blonde entered Heaven...
*
*
*
What's worse I bet you are now singing it to yourself!!!!!!



:thumbsup: :flowers:

#10 Animal

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 02:24 PM

Not quite factual: http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperfect.asp :flowers:



kill joy. :thumbsup:

Geez, Animal. Its still good for a laugh why do you have too ruin our fun :)

And have someone come back and tell me that Bleeping Computer perpetuates Urban Myths and False Information? :cool:

I was in the awkward position of, which ever way I went of being criticized. But that comes with the territory. :trumpet:

I still get a chuckle knowing somebody made up a good story. :inlove:

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life.
Andrew Brown (1938-1994)


A learning experience is one of those things that say, "You know that thing you just did? Don't do that." Douglas Adams (1952-2001)


"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination circles the world." Albert Einstein (1879-1955)


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#11 ThunderZ

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 06:52 PM

Lose lose situation. Lonely at the top Animal. :thumbsup:

....that reminds me......

Help Desk; How can I help you?
Caller; My computer is giving me problems.
Help Desk; Are you operating under Windows?
Caller; No. But I`m next to the door.......should I move?




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