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Arrrrrr... aggressive takeover!


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4 replies to this topic

#1 dc3

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Posted 25 November 2008 - 11:17 PM

BN 10:24 *CITI IN TALKS WITH SOMALI PIRATES FOR POSSIBLE CAPITAL INFUSION

BN 10:25 *WILL REQUIRE ALL CITI EMPLOYEES TO WEAR PATCH OVER ONE EYE

*SOMALIAN PIRATES APPLY TO BECOME BANK TO ACCESS TARP

*PAULSON: TARP PIRATE EQUITY IS AN `INVESTMENT,' WILL PAY OFF

*KASHKARI SAYS `SOMALI PIRATES ARE 'FUNDAMENTALLY SOUND' '

*Moody's upgrade Somali Pirates to AAA

*HUD SAYS SOMALI DHOW FORECLOSURE PROGRAM HAD `VERY LOW'
PARTICPATION *

SOMALI PIRATES IN DISCUSSION TO ACQUIRE CITIBANK *


FED OFFICIALS: AGGRESSIVE EASING WOULD CUT SOMALI PIRATE RISK *

FED AGREED OCT. 29 TO TAKE `WHATEVER STEPS' NEEDED FOR SOMALI PIRATES
--------------------------------------------------------

Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup

By Andreas Hippin
November 20 (Bloomberg) -- The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known
for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a
purchase of Citigroup.

The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash
stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships,
including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The
Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate
spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered
the final stage, Ali said. ``You may not like our price, but we are not
in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to
offer the shareholders anything," said Ali.

The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate
Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS's are backed by the cash flows from
future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody's and
S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the
PRBS's.

Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said "we need a bank so that we have
a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations
in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Citigroup at an
attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the
business even faster."
Shandu added, "We don't call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards and
this will just allow us to guard our coasts better.

Edit: Seeing the post following this I see that I need to point out that this is a spoof... it's a joke! :thumbsup:

Edited by dc3, 26 November 2008 - 12:38 AM.

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#2 scff249

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Posted 25 November 2008 - 11:39 PM

I think I remember hearing stuff about the Somali pirate people dude...whatever...I just have no clue what's going on here....

Speaking of pirates....as the nerd/geek that I am......

Ninjas are better than pirates :thumbsup:

"Ototo'i wa usagi o mita no...Kino wa shika...Kyo wa anata." -Kotomi Ichinose (Clannad) [see below for translation]
"Day before yesterday I saw a rabbit, and yesterday a deer, and today, you." -The Dandelion Girl
"You are not alone, and you are not strange. You are you, and everyone has damage. Be the better person." -Katawa Shoujo


#3 Pandy

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Posted 26 November 2008 - 09:42 AM

Ninjas are so NOT better than Pirates! :thumbsup:

LOL @ dc3, you almost had me going there!

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#4 Guest_Abacus 7_*

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Posted 26 November 2008 - 09:50 AM

There is much more behind this than most people think.

:thumbsup:

#5 Animal

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Posted 26 November 2008 - 01:16 PM

This should have been posted on Sept. 19th. :thumbsup:

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