BN 10:25 *WILL REQUIRE ALL CITI EMPLOYEES TO WEAR PATCH OVER ONE EYE
*SOMALIAN PIRATES APPLY TO BECOME BANK TO ACCESS TARP
*PAULSON: TARP PIRATE EQUITY IS AN `INVESTMENT,' WILL PAY OFF
*KASHKARI SAYS `SOMALI PIRATES ARE 'FUNDAMENTALLY SOUND' '
*Moody's upgrade Somali Pirates to AAA
*HUD SAYS SOMALI DHOW FORECLOSURE PROGRAM HAD `VERY LOW'
SOMALI PIRATES IN DISCUSSION TO ACQUIRE CITIBANK *
FED OFFICIALS: AGGRESSIVE EASING WOULD CUT SOMALI PIRATE RISK *
FED AGREED OCT. 29 TO TAKE `WHATEVER STEPS' NEEDED FOR SOMALI PIRATES
Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup
By Andreas Hippin
November 20 (Bloomberg) -- The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known
for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a
purchase of Citigroup.
The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash
stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships,
including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The
Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate
spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered
the final stage, Ali said. ``You may not like our price, but we are not
in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to
offer the shareholders anything," said Ali.
The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate
Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS's are backed by the cash flows from
future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody's and
S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the
Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said "we need a bank so that we have
a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations
in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Citigroup at an
attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the
business even faster."
Shandu added, "We don't call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards and
this will just allow us to guard our coasts better.
Edit: Seeing the post following this I see that I need to point out that this is a spoof... it's a joke!
Edited by dc3, 26 November 2008 - 12:38 AM.