Dear Fellow Bleepers,
As a newly arrived denizen of bleeperdom, please allow me to convey my appreciation for your warm welcome. When I signed your registry book, I was gently reminded to introduce myself to you before settling down and reading. Perhaps you'll know me best by what's brought me to your door. I'm here because the BHO.NO trojan seems to have installed a team of rival dlls and a Lieberman or two on my system. While I'm here in the Intro Cottage, I'll try to pretend it's not happening if you can ignore my screams as yet another feature (restore points, security settings) is appropriated by BHO.NO. I am sure that after spending more time among you, I'll either be able to evict said monstrosities, or domesticate them. That which cannot be quarantined can be decorated, right? So if you see someone sitting in a corner sewing retro cafe curtains onto UEMUSZ.DLL, it's me. The little dear adores my comfy SYSTEM32 folder, and simply won't be budged.
And go ahead and help yourselves to the tea. If you don't drink it, I'll be tempted to drown the hard drive in it instead.