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For The Over 50s


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#1 rowal5555

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Posted 24 September 2008 - 08:42 PM

Questions and Answers for 50 and over


Q. Where can men over the age of 50 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore-------under FICTION.

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 50+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 50+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 50+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: ' Gee, I remember these.'

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#2 Poppy32174

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Posted 24 September 2008 - 08:57 PM

Thanks, rowal5555, that was funny and true... :thumbsup:

Poppy
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#3 Guest_Abacus 7_*

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Posted 25 September 2008 - 03:52 AM

I was looking for a Place for this one? It seems to fit here?

Subject: A Warning

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire."

The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"

The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs.

"You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.

They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees
the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.

The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Darn.....third gay rooster I bought this month."

Moral of this story? ...

Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, and treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!

:thumbsup: :flowers:

#4 Brewster Down Under

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Posted 25 September 2008 - 10:47 AM

I'm not going to post here don't want to reveal my age :flowers: :thumbsup:
Blame It On The Dog

#5 KoanYorel

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Posted 25 September 2008 - 11:05 AM

Too late BDU, in responding/reading the thread you already 'gave it up'.... he he
The only easy day was yesterday.

...some do, some don't; some will, some won't (WR)

#6 Sharonsthere

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Posted 25 September 2008 - 11:16 AM

Extremely funny, both of these.

and oh so true. guess I'll take a nap now.
intelligence has far fewer practical applications than I thought.

#7 m0le

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Posted 25 September 2008 - 03:29 PM

Hey everyone,...

Oh wait, ooops. Over 50s. Definitely wrong forum :thumbsup:

/m0le clicks away in a spritely manner
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#8 kirstine

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Posted 03 November 2008 - 10:28 PM

:thumbsup: :flowers: thank you so much




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