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The Paradox of our Time..


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#1 Notorious

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Posted 10 April 2005 - 08:16 AM

The Paradox of our Time

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've split the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight ... or to just hit delete.

Author Unknown.. But how true.. :thumbsup:
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Down in the bayou, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?
"Sure is Bubba. But why you asking?"
"Cause what I want to know is, I was thinking, can I sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've slept with?"

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#2 yano

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Posted 10 April 2005 - 10:18 AM

Another great find Notorious! :thumbsup:

How sad but true. Its all true. Times have changed so much even fewer people belive in there religion.

#3 KoanYorel

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Posted 10 April 2005 - 12:30 PM

The author of "The Paradox of Our Time in History" is Dr. Bob Morehead,
a minister, author, and former pastor of Overlake Christian Church in Redmond, Washington.

(This piece has often been mistakenly attributed to George Carlin.)

:thumbsup:
The only easy day was yesterday.

...some do, some don't; some will, some won't (WR)

#4 phawgg

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Posted 10 April 2005 - 01:31 PM

It is a good read, and I'm glad to hear of it's origin, too. TY you both.
patiently patrolling, plenty of persisant pests n' problems ...

#5 yano

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Posted 10 April 2005 - 01:39 PM

The author of "The Paradox of Our Time in History" is Dr. Bob Morehead,
a minister, author, and former pastor of Overlake Christian Church in Redmond, Washington.

(This piece has often been mistakenly attributed to George Carlin.)

:thumbsup:

George Carlin has some funny bleep. I've downloaded some of works, and read some of it. He is so funny.

They always tell you get on the place, Get on the plane. bleep YOU! I'm gettintg in the plane! :flowers:



#6 LoLucky

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Posted 11 April 2005 - 07:29 AM

I somewhat agree Carlin "was" funny His new bleep is just that bleep!

All he ever talks about now is Politics hes been IMO totally Unfunny since the early 90's

LOFL I've been Censored and didn't even think it was bad! :thumbsup:

Edited by LoLucky, 11 April 2005 - 07:30 AM.


#7 yano

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Posted 11 April 2005 - 06:52 PM

oh come I just saw a tape of him doing comedy from the 80's and his bleep is hillarious...

Now my favorite dog that I ever had in my whole lifetime was Tippy. Tippy was a good dog. Some of you remember I've talked about Tippy. Tippy was a good dog. Tippy was a mixed terrier. You know that word mixed...that the veterinarian puts on the form...when even he don't know what the bleep you got. You bring in a little mixed puppy to a veterinarian and say, "What is it?" He'll say, "Well, it's definitely not a monkey. Tippy was actually part dodge dart. Poor Tippy was full of guilt. So much so, in fact, she's the only dog I ever had who committed suicide. Yeah, well, we don't say it like that around the house. We say she put herself to sleep. But she ran out in front of a milk truck. That's bleeping suicide! But that was her decision. That's what Tippy wanted to do. And that's the way it is in our family. If you want to commit suicide, we back you up. So we supported Tippy in her little suicide decision, then we brought her into the pet shop, threw her up on the counter and said, "Give us something bigger, were trading up. We was looking for a bigger goddam dog." Cause Tippy had been teeny. Even before the truck came by. Truck had made her teenier. Ha. Wider, but teenier. And we was looking for a bigger goddam dog. Not too big, you know? I don't like a dog who's bigger than I am. It's bad enough looking for bleep in one direction, without having to duck flying turds as well. A good rule of thumb is keep the dog's bleep below eye-level. So we compromised, and we got us a mid-sized dog. Knee-high, just about like this size here.

Best size dog you can own by the way. Most people know this is the ideal size dog to have. You know why, anybody comes to visit you, the first thing that dog does is take his nose and put it, (click) right in their crotch. Ooooooooo...Oooohoohooo...he smells my dog. No. "No Marge, I don't believe that's the animal he has in mind." And people get embarrassed by that, don't they? Especially the owner of the dog. The owner gets more embarrassed than the other person. Saying, "Stop that! Will you stop that! Stop it! I'm awfully sorry about this." Not me! I'll say, "Get in there and get some of that. Get in there and stiff that thing out, go on." "Listen, would you mind spreading your legs a little bit...so he can get right in there. Okay, looking good now. So how's your mom and dad doing anyway? Well, god bless them, they's a wonderful couple." Say, "go around in the back, check it out in the back now, sniff that other thing in the back there." "What's that? Well there's two different smells he likes, what can I tell you? Huh? Don't pay him no attention, he'll be finished in about a half an hour." "So listen reverend...it's real nice of you to come and call on us like this. Everyone is always glad to see you around here. Especially that goddam dog." Those dogs are great, they'll break the ice when a new neighbor comes to call. "Hi were the Jooohhhnsons. What's his name?" "Ballsniffer. He's a Crotch-hound. Let me know if you want to get circumcised, he on duty till five o'clock."



#8 LoLucky

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Posted 12 April 2005 - 07:03 AM

LOL Yeah i said his Old stuff is good but his new stuff is bleep IMO. but he has been starting to do new material. (so i heard)

#9 Grinler

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Posted 12 April 2005 - 08:38 AM

Bleep bleepers.

#10 Notorious

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Posted 12 April 2005 - 12:50 PM

Now my favorite dog that I ever had in my whole lifetime was Tippy. Tippy was a good dog.
anybody comes to visit you, the first thing that dog does is take his nose and put it, (click) right in their crotch. Ooooooooo...Oooohoohooo...he smells my dog. No. "No Marge, I don't believe that's the animal he has in mind."
"Stop that! Will you stop that! Stop it! I'm awfully sorry about this." Not me! I'll say, "Get in there and get some of that. Get in there and stiff that thing out, go on."
"So listen reverend...it's real nice of you to come and call on us like this. Everyone is always glad to see you around here. Especially that goddam dog." Those dogs are great, they'll break the ice when a new neighbor comes to call. "Hi were the Jooohhhnsons. What's his name?" "Ballsniffer. He's a Crotch-hound.

:thumbsup: :flowers: :trumpet: :inlove: Man that guy is great..
Posted Image

Down in the bayou, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?
"Sure is Bubba. But why you asking?"
"Cause what I want to know is, I was thinking, can I sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've slept with?"

#11 Notorious

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Posted 12 April 2005 - 02:41 PM

All he ever talks about now is Politics hes been IMO totally Unfunny since the early 90's

I just read some of his stuff and love it.. :thumbsup: He's also right about lot of things in politics.. It's just that some people refuse to know the truth.. :flowers:
Posted Image

Down in the bayou, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?
"Sure is Bubba. But why you asking?"
"Cause what I want to know is, I was thinking, can I sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've slept with?"

#12 SaxonManFinland

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Posted 15 April 2005 - 08:08 AM

BUT!!! What is The Truth??????

When the people of the USA re-elected Bush, does that mean he was telling the truth about WOMD, or does that Mean they Believed HIS VERSION of the Truth. Now the British People will re-elect Bushes Lap Dog, Mr Blair ( or Blahhhhhh). Now very few people believe Mr Blahhhhh told us the truth, BUT it seems both of the electorates of both Countries preferred to Believe Bush and Blair rather than Mr S Hussein. WELL WHAT A CHOICE TO HAVE TO MAKE :thumbsup: :flowers:

The truth is a PERCEPTION, and is well documented by Marx, Stalin and the great Newpaper Owners of our time.

[b]So its better to laugh a lot, not take life too seriously, try to be a decent person and make sure someone else's definition of the TRUTH doesn't get your kids hurt or killed. And this references Asbestos and Radiation not only our recent jolly to the Oil Fields of Iraq :inlove:


And as many a good Iraquie has said " I would rather have your dogs nose in my crotch than one of your smart bombs up my jacksie!!!!" :trumpet:

#13 unwinrarexe

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Posted 15 April 2005 - 11:28 PM

untrue


* example

< $ = > $ & 0 $ = > > $ & < 0 $ = > > > $

Edited by unwinrarexe, 15 April 2005 - 11:32 PM.


#14 cowsgonemadd3

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Posted 15 April 2005 - 09:45 PM

Great post! I see a few of them that pertain to me sometimes!

#15 Papakid

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Posted 15 April 2005 - 11:34 PM

I somewhat agree Carlin "was" funny His new bleep is just that bleep!

All he ever talks about now is Politics hes been IMO totally Unfunny since the early 90's

He's following the pattern of his own comedic hero then--Lenny Bruce.

After LB went thru all those arrests--essentially engineered by the censors to shut him up--his shows got to be all about his legal batles and politics and I hear there wasn't much humor to them.

Although there is plenty to laugh about in politics. Take Will Rogers for example.

If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!


I haven't kept up with Carlin since his reallly old stuff back in the seventies so don't know how funny his politcal humor is. Didn't he drop all the drug humor in the eighties? (The only drug problem I hear about is--I can't get any!) And toned down the language a little. I used to know some of those old routines by heart, like the classic seven words you can't say on TV. But haven't listened to much of his stuff since then.

The fate of all mankind, I see

Is in the hands of fools

--King Crimson





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