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This Really Happened


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#1 tg1911

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Posted 25 July 2004 - 02:59 PM

Might have seen these before, but still funny.


Excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article . . .

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood
of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.
The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. A Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.

4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it couldn't find the printer. The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer, but his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens. The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"

9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied to remove Disk 1 first.

10. A story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
CALLER: "Yes, my cup holder broke and I'm still under the warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."

12. And last but not least:
TECH SUPPORT: "O.K., Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"
MOBO: GIGABYTE GA-MA790X-UD4P, CPU: Phenom II X4 955 Deneb BE, HS/F: CoolerMaster V8, RAM: 2 x 1G Kingston HyperX DDR2 800, VGA: ECS GeForce Black GTX 560, PSU: Antec TruePower Modular 750W, Soundcard: Asus Xonar D1, Case: CoolerMaster COSMOS 1000, Storage: Internal - 2 x Seagate 250GB SATA, 2 x WD 1TB SATA; External - Seagate 500GB USB, WD 640GB eSATA, 3 x WD 1TB eSATA

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#2 cowsgonemadd3

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Posted 25 July 2004 - 03:25 PM

Funny! LOL

#3 phawgg

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Posted 25 July 2004 - 04:02 PM

LOL, the cup holder incident had me ROTFL...come to think of it, the cup holder in a Mercedes-Benz SSK Kompressor sorta works like a cd-rom...
patiently patrolling, plenty of persisant pests n' problems ...

#4 JEservices

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Posted 25 July 2004 - 04:55 PM

Thanks for the laughs. It is good to know that I am not the only one that gets calls like this from clients.

No offense to anyone, but I make more money with removing AOL, from the free CDs that they offer, then anything else.

I just came back from helping out one of my new clients that I told that I would be there to clean up their computer on Monday. They thought that the task was easy enough for them to do on their own, but was wrong. When I went over there, they had the computer outside, spraying it with the water hose...both the case, and 21" flat screen monitor. She was quite lucky that I was not a few minutes later, because she was albout to take them back inside and plug them in. Sony would have a field day, to find out that someone would do that to their VAIO.
We are all curious like a cat. We wonder, we ask, we learn.
Please post back when a suggestion works, so that others may learn.

#5 cowsgonemadd3

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Posted 25 July 2004 - 07:13 PM

OMG!!!! :thumbsup: :flowers: :trumpet: :inlove: B) :spam: :) :) I am about to die! OMG!!!! Wait a moment until i finish rolling on the floor. I was just about to ask the poster if this stuff really happened or if it was all made up but wow! :spam: :cool: :P OMG!!! Thats funny. I would have had a fireld day too. Yeah my pc stopped working because i cleaned it with a water hose! LOL Good one thanks!

#6 Dangitall

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Posted 31 July 2004 - 10:42 PM

The thought of handling calls like those is why I've never gotten involved with doing tech support over the phone ... well, hardly ever!
'Newbie'?? In a pig's ear!

Main Machine: 500MHz P3, 320MB PC100, 80GB Seagate, Nvidia FX5200, Philips RhythmicEdge

#7 cowsgonemadd3

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Posted 01 August 2004 - 03:40 PM

Yes,some people are just nuts! LOL

#8 808chick

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Posted 02 August 2004 - 04:54 AM

OMG, that was hilarious :thumbsup: :flowers:
Thanks for sharing the laughs!! :trumpet:


#9 alexgtp

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Posted 02 August 2004 - 01:27 PM

Befor I became an admin. I used to work tier 2 support for a local drug store chain..


Well I used to get some of the silliest held desk questions.

I even heard alot of the ones above.. LOL~

But my all time favorite was.
From this head honcho.
Well my computer keeps saying YOU GOT MAIL.. but i go to my inbox at the front desk and there is nothing there.. I was like well when it tells you youhave mail. thats meane E_MAIL.. not mail mail..LOL!!

#10 cowsgonemadd3

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Posted 02 August 2004 - 01:40 PM

Thats fuunnnnnny!




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