Jump to content


 


Register a free account to unlock additional features at BleepingComputer.com
Welcome to BleepingComputer, a free community where people like yourself come together to discuss and learn how to use their computers. Using the site is easy and fun. As a guest, you can browse and view the various discussions in the forums, but can not create a new topic or reply to an existing one unless you are logged in. Other benefits of registering an account are subscribing to topics and forums, creating a blog, and having no ads shown anywhere on the site.


Click here to Register a free account now! or read our Welcome Guide to learn how to use this site.

Photo

And God created children..


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 Notorious

Notorious

  • Members
  • 345 posts
  • OFFLINE
  •  
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Amsterdam
  • Local time:11:46 PM

Posted 10 February 2005 - 06:57 AM

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...
Here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children...

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!"
God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was angry!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.


ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
Posted Image

Down in the bayou, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?
"Sure is Bubba. But why you asking?"
"Cause what I want to know is, I was thinking, can I sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've slept with?"

BC AdBot (Login to Remove)

 


#2 Pandy

Pandy

    Bleepin'


  • Members
  • 9,559 posts
  • OFFLINE
  •  
  • Gender:Female
  • Local time:12:46 AM

Posted 10 February 2005 - 08:18 AM

Notoriuos~ :flowers: Thank you for the giggles this morning. LOL And thanks for perspective too. Hehehe That was a good one. I enjoyed reading that. :thumbsup:

:trumpet:

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?

~ Benjamin Franklin

I am a Bleeping Computer fan! Are you?

Facebook

Follow us on Twitter


#3 Scarlett

Scarlett

    Bleeping Diva


  • Members
  • 7,479 posts
  • OFFLINE
  •  
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:As always I'm beside myself ;)
  • Local time:11:46 PM

Posted 10 February 2005 - 08:28 AM

:thumbsup: My fav. is:

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Isn't that the truth? They have a mind like a steel trap. Unless of course it is something that you told them to do. Then it is huh? When did you say that?
Also another good reason to never promise a child anything that you will not follow through with. :flowers:
Posted Image

#4 TexasAngel67

TexasAngel67

    Bleeping Helper


  • Members
  • 1,551 posts
  • OFFLINE
  •  
  • Location:Fort Worth
  • Local time:12:46 AM

Posted 10 February 2005 - 10:46 AM

That was great, Notorious!
I can relate!
Thanks for sharing.
This was a great addition to my morning coffee.

#5 KoanYorel

KoanYorel

    Bleepin' Conundrum


  • Members
  • 19,461 posts
  • OFFLINE
  •  
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:65 miles due East of the "Logic Free Zone", in Md, USA
  • Local time:12:46 AM

Posted 10 February 2005 - 12:30 PM

A funny-funny! Thanks for the giggles Notorious!

:thumbsup:
The only easy day was yesterday.

...some do, some don't; some will, some won't (WR)

#6 phawgg

phawgg

    Learning Daily


  • Members
  • 4,543 posts
  • OFFLINE
  •  
  • Location:Washington State, USA
  • Local time:08:46 PM

Posted 10 February 2005 - 02:54 PM

I think the best lesson in the Creation is this:
Better keep a sense of humor,
seems the most consistantly useful gift from above.

patiently patrolling, plenty of persisant pests n' problems ...




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users