BleepingComputer.com: Would You Slap Your Child?

I think this is quite an important issue.

When i was a kid my father never layed as much as a finger on me, shout scream and damage surrounding objects in the room yes me no. However on the other hand my mom, kicked my butt! Of course not in what i would term in an abusive way, hit me with anything but a closed fist! im exadurating maybe a bit but inhindsight i deserved it!!

I dont have any children (that i know of ) but 1 thing is for certain, i will never slap my child.

I remember a onething i saw that concreted it for me. I was at Church one day, a young boy aged maybe 4 was whimpering and a little noisey, i cant fully remember exactly what he was doing, the father of the boy told him to stop then after that wrning slaped the child twice on the bottom prettly sharply.
The childs reaction will haunt me forever..the look on the face of the child was one of shock, the poor little tyke looked soo betrayed! he started crying uncontrolably looking up at his father, he grabs his dads leg crying...

I think children are smarter than we give them credit for, i dont think physical ounishment is the best solution to make a child behave there are other methods ive seen work in practice very well.

I know there are going to be people that say a "good kick in the butt never harmed me" but i think this is incorrect. In my country corpral punishement was used to beat education into people whom were less intelligent..that doesnt work!

I'm interested to hear other peoples views, especially yours Joyce.

This post has been edited by snyper: 14 April 2006 - 05:49 AM

I'm a firm believer in giving a child a smack on the rear when needed. I was paddled when I was growing up, and I turned out ok (well, that's opinionated ).

I have 2 children whom I love dearly, even when I spank them (which is few and far between). When I spank them, it's not so much how hard (or soft) I hit them, it's more of the fact that they're getting spanked. I've never smacked my kids so hard that they cried from the spanking. They cry from the act of being spanked instead, as I know I'm not hitting them hard enough to make them cry. I've tried other forms of punishment, as I said "I'll never spank my kids", but they didn't work as well as a spanking did. Put them in the corner and the talk to themselves while they pick their nose. Send them to their room, and they play with their toys, watch TV, play a video game or talk on the phone. Grounding them isn't to much of a good thing, as they've got other things that will occupy them (games, phone, friends etc.). Give them a spanking, and it leaves a lasting impression, as they'll stop to think...."hmmm....last time I did that I got spanked.....better not light the cat on fire."

I also believe that they way a child is disciplined sticks with them as they mature into adulthood. Have you ever seen a child that kicks and screams and yells and hits their parents without fear of reprimand? Those are the kids that grow up to be jerks or bullies in school, and then go on to do bad (possibly illegal) things, like criminal mischief in general. I'm one of those parents that say "if my kids ever acted like that I'd smack them", but (and I firmly believe this to be true) I spank my kids and am very firm and strict when it comes to disciplilne, so my kids are well behaved and they'll be better off in the long run. I know that people don't look at my child and shake their heads with disgust because he/she is laying on the floor kicking and screaming at the top of their lungs and punching me in the middle of the mall becuase I won't get them a toy. Nope. My son tried that when he was 3. I told him that if he didn't get up off the floor and follow me so I could finish shopping, then I would drag him around the floor by his ankles after I spanked him. He screamed "NO YOU WON'T!!!!!". Needless to say, after a spanking and being dragged an isle, he had had enough and was ready to walk on his own and be good. Spank your kids.....it'll do them good.

Now, with that said, I'm all for spankings, and all against child abuse. No one else yells at my kids besides me (and the wife), and the day that someone besides me lays a hand on one of my children.......may god show them mercy because I won't. I've actually seen a kid getting abused in a city and I stopped my car in the middle of the street and began yelling at the dad. He was punching a kid that (come to find out) was 4 years old. We argued for a minute until he hit me. I then began to abuse him, and by the time the cops showed up, he was lying on the ground in a daze. The child was taken to the hospital, then taken by social services. The father ended up in jail, and assualt charges against me were dropped before they even made it to court becase I was "saving a child from physical abuse". There's a fine line between "a good spanking' and abuse, and that line is about a million miles wide.

Needless to say that I don't see how an occasional spanking would do anything but help to "shape" a child as they grow, as long as that spanking is within reason and is well deserved. I know that when I take my kids out in public they'll behave. When someone tries to get them to do something illegal, they'll say no. There's a difference between teaching your children the difference between right and wrong, and enforcing the difference between right and wrong.

I'm not saying that you should spank your kids, or that you shouldn't. As long as you're not beating your kids, and your kids aren't beating me, I don't care how you discipline your kids.

Even though I spank my kids, they know that I love them more than anything on this earth. I've always told them that there's nothing they can't do, and that only they can hold themselves back. I've encouraged them to "go forth and do great things", and that they are capable of anything and everything as long as they try, and that the only time they'll fail is when they don't try. Even when my son lost a wrestling match to a girl, and he was devistated and thought that life was over as he knew it, he knew that I still loved him and that I would help him with his troubles.....even though I spanked him that morning for constantly arguing with me. Respect is the key: Teach your kids respect, and they'll help to make the world a better place. Dang, I oughta send that one to Hallmark!

Just my humble opinion, my "2 cents worth". I'll not argue or "discuss" how my beliefs are better than your's, or hers or his or theirs. Just my opinion, and we all know what opinions are like.....

[quote name='snyper' post='268481' date='Apr 14 2006, 06:48 AM']I'm interested to hear other peoples views, especially yours Joyce.[/quote]

I can only assume you meant me snyper? lol

Well I will tell you. YES I have spanked my children before. Of course I have. I have rarely done it. There were instances when I felt that extra emphasis was needed. I never did it alot at all. But once in a blue moon I needed to because I was being disrespected. I won't let my children disrespect me at all. My children are older now and spankings are never done anymore. I felt that .. HEY if in life when my children are grown they ought to know what some people may do if they show disrespect to someone else. They needed it to be demonstrated to them what disrespect earns for them. I am not saying I beat my kids all the time. LOL What I am saying is that I swatted their butts once in a while. My kids are good kids. They do NOT disrespect me. They do not think I am a TOTAL marshmallow. They know there is only so much that I will let them get away with. A swat on the rear end is not child abuse... an open handed slap in the face is.. punching a child is over the line. My kids learned where the line was regarding disrespect and sass. Don't go there.. and they don't. Kids don't learn respect if it isn't taught them. If I didn't teach my kids that they were talking to me in a disrespectful way they wouldn't have learn how TO RESPECT anyone. I would not have their respect either. Yes I had spanked my kids when they were little. When my son went into the road when he was small yes I swatted his butt for it.. and he didn't do it again. When I finally had it with my daughter telling me how awful I was and how much she hated me.. yes I spanked her for that. What she was saying was not true and I made her stop telling me that.
So there is my humble opinion on spanking.. slapping??? NOOOO thats hurtful and mean. Spank is different.

well. to both steve and pandy, i want to clarify that i dont believe a spank is anywhere near child abuse,...draagging your kid around the mall by the ankles, well when i coud stop laughing and put the lot in perspective, yea i know what you mean.

Yes i would have liked to "talk" to that guy too on the street.

Ok I know my opinion my seem a little bias, coming from a 17year old. However, when I was growing up, (ages 3-12) I was spanked as a form of punishment.

Grounded was never used on me nor my brother. In fact, I didn't even know what it was to be grounded until I found out at school.

My mom never spanekd me for any punishment. That was my dad's job and idea. My mom didn't believe in spanking children, so this kinda brought a little fuel to the fire.

Also my dad did have some rather unusual forms of punishments. Like one time I was crying (I forget whatfor) and we were outside, and my dad told me to shut up and stop crying. (my brother was also crying)
So my dad grabbed to lawn chairs took them out in front our house, and made us sit in them until we stopped crying. Which it did work.

Also my dad had the phylosophy "If it causes problems, remove it"

Everytime we had a toy or something that caused problem he'd throw it away. He even threaten to throw away the TV once. I use to hate this, and hated him for it. Even if it wasn't causing major problems, he wanted to throw it away.

However back to the spanking, he always told us that his dad used to abuse him and his mom, and that one time my dad had to beat up his dad because he (my dad's dad) was beating up my grandma. And my dad would always say that he doesn't enjoy it and he only does it for our own good.


So in the end I'd say a good spanking will work, only as a last resort of other forms of punishment.


I already know what KY is gonna say this came up in a BC chat a long time ago.

As a father of four daughters and grandfather of ten boys and girls I have have some experience with child rearing and discipline. A smack on the bottom with an open hand, hard enough to sting, was something I very rarely used. However it apparently reinforced the lesson being taught so that the infraction that induced the punishment was almost NEVER repeated.

My children, who are now also my friends, tell me that the spankings are not remembered now but they recall very easily what they refer to as THE HAIRY EYEBALL!! The majority of the time a look of severe disapproval at the current behavior was sufficient to have it stop.

Consistent discipline coupled with all your love and protection will result in human beings you can be proud of.

When you brought a child into the world you did worse than slap it.
You being anybody.
Did the child ASK to be here?
I think not.
Did anyone ask to be born?
I think not.
Quit breeding.
It's a crime to bring a child into a human life.
You condemn it to misery & death as soon as it is born.
Think about it.
Of course,people that breed,seldom really think at all...
Except about themselves.

[quote name='medab1' post='268704' date='Apr 14 2006, 08:24 PM']When you brought a child into the world you did worse than slap it.
You being anybody.
Did the child ASK to be here?
I think not.
Did anyone ask to be born?
I think not.
Quit breeding.
It's a crime to bring a child into a human life.
You condemn it to misery & death as soon as it is born.
Think about it.
Of course,people that breed,seldom really think at all...
Except about themselves.[/quote]




I, despite the fact that am a manic depressant and will remain on anti d's for the rest of my life, am quite happy to be alive, Without been too boring, life is precious.

I honestly dont know which angle to tackle this from!! jeez

pffft yano thats kinda funny

Im only a kid but still my views should be heard as wel ^-^
In my opinion - a parent should never hit a child with their hand - never with any part of they body against a child. The child will suffer shocks of parents beating him/her with hands and they will be afraid to go near them.
With a belt (oh the majistical belt - how many times i have seen it..) Kids will get a good beating - cry their eyes out - then apologize to the parents for doing wrong. They all fear the belt....
But still - beating in anyway has to have a meaning- one cannot beat another without a good cause - ie - a father has no right to beat a child because he spilt somthing, he is a child at the end of the day!

What most concerns me these days - is not the beating - but the reasons for the beating --- Child abuse. Drunkenss, Drugs, Stress etc, all add to the beat factor which could all be thrown at a poor halpess child with no defense



Before hitting a child (or beating or punishing) think of the future, think of the reason, and most importantyly... Think of the kid.




Thank you very much :huh:

This post has been edited by vise: 15 April 2006 - 06:10 AM

Well vise....if tou dont condone such action, what about poor bob in your avtar....all over a cookie!!!!

technicaly bob isnt a child (between me and you - hes a cookie theif.....)

American Academy of Pediatrics encourages parents to avoid spanking:

Spanking teaches children that it's OK to hit when they're angry.
Spanking can physically harm children.
Rather than teaching children how to change their behavior, spanking makes them fearful of their parents and teaches them merely to avoid getting caught.
In the case of children who are looking for attention by acting out, spanking may inadvertently "reward" children by giving them attention - negative attention is better than no attention at all.


Pity my mom didnt read that

[quote name='snyper' post='268988' date='Apr 15 2006, 12:40 PM']Spanking can physically harm children.[/quote]


u dont say....

and anyway - whats the point of not hitting a child when they dont want to understnd you - spank em!!!!!!!!!!

an no i agree with steve and pandy. a certain amount is ok im sure, mite not be my way but i cant see much of a problem with it.

Yesterday in my town a man died. He drank a bottle of weed killer. I knew him in passing but seemingly he was a great man for punching the head of his 9 year old boy. This 9 year old grew up be of little use to society and always fighting with his father, a fight with his father was the last thing they done togeather before "Martin" (the dad) went home and drank the poison.

Sad But true.

If i had known he used to punch ,(not slap, punch) his kid, i would have saved him the trouble and expence of buying the bottle!

This post has been edited by snyper: 15 April 2006 - 07:18 AM