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Raising Kids In Today's World! a musing

#1 User is offline   Pandy 

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  Posted 11 April 2006 - 01:45 PM

I don't know who wrote this. It is highly amusing for me tho so I thought I would share. lol

(Hmmm, I wonder if we have any Clorox, I know I have some brake fluid in the garage) ROFL..

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.


The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas:

Things I've learned from my children (honest & no kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few a times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh Oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies .
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue IS forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
20. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
21. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
22. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
23. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
24. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
25. The mind of a 6-year old is amazing.

First grade...true story: One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs in her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said, Holy ???, a talking Pig!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.


60% of the men who read this will try the Clorox and Brake Fluid.
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#2 User is offline   cowsgonemadd3 

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Posted 11 April 2006 - 03:06 PM

You know this is pitiful...
"60% of the men who read this will try the Clorox and Brake Fluid."
So true because I was going to try it! Still might do it for a fun.

I think this one if a funny one!

This post has been edited by cowsgonemadd3: 11 April 2006 - 03:06 PM


#3 User is offline   Scarlett 

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Posted 11 April 2006 - 03:07 PM

:thumbsup: :flowers:
Those are good ones Pandy!
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#4 User is offline   Pandy 

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Posted 11 April 2006 - 03:34 PM

I am personally aquainted with numbers 7, 16, 19 and 20. TY I thought it was cute. lol
May the Irish hills caress you. May her lakes and rivers bless you. May the luck of the Irish enfold you. May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.
Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?~ Benjamin Franklin I am a Bleeping Computer fan! Are you? Facebook Follow us on Twitter

#5 User is offline   KoanYorel 

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Posted 11 April 2006 - 04:50 PM

Koan knows all and so I move this post.

Just to keep me diapers dry...

Very funny.
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#6 User is offline   yano 

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Posted 11 April 2006 - 04:50 PM

View Postcowsgonemadd3, on Apr 11 2006, 04:06 PM, said:

You know this is pitiful...
"60% of the men who read this will try the Clorox and Brake Fluid."
So true because I was going to try it! Still might do it for a fun.

I think this one if a funny one!


Yea. I was just about to try that too. :thumbsup:

#7 User is offline   currmac 

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Posted 13 April 2006 - 09:16 AM

:thumbsup: :flowers: :trumpet: :inlove: :cool:
INSPIRE TO VICTORY

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#8 User is offline   legoman786 

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Posted 14 April 2006 - 06:13 PM

Even though I read these elsewhere, it's still funny to read what children can do!!
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#9 User is online   boopme 

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Posted 14 April 2006 - 10:17 PM

Oh man that's just hilarious..
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#10 User is offline   graveangel 

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Posted 19 June 2006 - 01:15 PM

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha,so so true :thumbsup: :flowers: :trumpet: :inlove: :) :cool:
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#11 User is offline   heracles 

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Posted 09 February 2007 - 10:12 AM


#12 User is offline   tink536 

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Posted 09 February 2007 - 07:15 PM

:thumbsup: :flowers:
I guess I'll consider that birth control! :trumpet:
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#13 User is offline   BlackSpyder 

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Posted 10 February 2007 - 07:46 PM

View PostPandy, on Apr 11 2006, 01:45 PM, said:

12. Super glue IS forever.


This is where the Brake Fluid comes in. (or rubbing alcohol, paint thinner/striper/reducer, or other skin drying agent)

View Postyano, on Apr 11 2006, 04:50 PM, said:

View Postcowsgonemadd3, on Apr 11 2006, 04:06 PM, said:

You know this is pitiful...
"60% of the men who read this will try the Clorox and Brake Fluid."
So true because I was going to try it! Still might do it for a fun.

I think this one if a funny one!


Yea. I was just about to try that too. :flowers:


Already done it it's COOL!!!! :thumbsup:
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#14 User is offline   athelos 

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Posted 25 February 2007 - 11:18 AM

:thumbsup: Ahhh. Memories of when i was that age...I didnt know about the brake fluid thing. I wonder if we have some in our garage?...........
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
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