 Raising Kids In Today's World!, a musing |
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  Apr 11 2006, 01:45 PM
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 Bleepin' Mod  Group: Moderator Posts: 4,289 Joined: 11-April 04 Member No.: 108  |
(Hmmm, I wonder if we have any Clorox, I know I have some brake fluid in the garage) ROFL.. For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control. The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas: Things I've learned from my children (honest & no kidding): 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq ft. house 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few a times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh Oh," it's already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies . 10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old. 11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12. Super glue IS forever. 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18. You probably do NOT want to know what that odor is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. 20. Plastic toys do not like ovens. 21. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. 22. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 23. It will, however, make cats dizzy. 24. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 25. The mind of a 6-year old is amazing. First grade...true story: One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs in her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said, Holy ???, a talking Pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. 60% of the men who read this will try the Clorox and Brake Fluid. -------------------- Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. ~ Benjamin Franklin |
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Apr 11 2006, 03:06 PM
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 Feed me some spyware! Group: Members Posts: 4,491 Joined: 18-July 04 From: USA Ware Shoals SC Member No.: 1,500 |
You know this is pitiful...
"60% of the men who read this will try the Clorox and Brake Fluid." So true because I was going to try it! Still might do it for a fun. I think this one if a funny one! This post has been edited by cowsgonemadd3: Apr 11 2006, 03:06 PM -------------------- The fool says in his heart,"There is no God."They are corrupt, and their ways are vile;there is no one who does good. (Psalm 14:1; 53:1)
"The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork" (Psalms 19:1) If you were to die today where would you go? Learn how to go to heaven today click here! Come check out my new blog!! -Austin Z If we are what we eat then I am fried,greasy and 99 cents.(nah I eat healthy most of the time) |
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Apr 11 2006, 03:07 PM
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 Bleeping GloDiva Group: Members Posts: 7,479 Joined: 25-April 04 From: As always I'm beside myself ;) Member No.: 228 |
  Those are good ones Pandy! --------------------  |
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Apr 11 2006, 03:34 PM
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#4
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Bleepin' Mod Group: Moderator Posts: 4,289 Joined: 11-April 04 Member No.: 108 |
I am personally aquainted with numbers 7, 16, 19 and 20. TY I thought it was cute. lol
-------------------- Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. ~ Benjamin Franklin |
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Apr 11 2006, 04:50 PM
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#5
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 Bleepin' Conundrum Group: Global Moderator Posts: 8,536 Joined: 26-April 04 From: 65 miles due East of the "Logic Free Zone", in Md, USA Member No.: 235 |
Koan knows all and so I move this post.
Just to keep me diapers dry... Very funny. -------------------- |
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Apr 11 2006, 04:50 PM
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#6
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 I can see what you post! Group: Members Posts: 6,311 Joined: 14-February 05 From: Somewhere in North East Ohio Member No.: 12,053 |
QUOTE(cowsgonemadd3 @ Apr 11 2006, 04:06 PM)  You know this is pitiful... "60% of the men who read this will try the Clorox and Brake Fluid." So true because I was going to try it! Still might do it for a fun. I think this one if a funny one! Yea. I was just about to try that too. 
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Apr 13 2006, 09:16 AM
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#7
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 Member Group: Members Posts: 124 Joined: 15-February 06 Member No.: 55,275 |
-------------------- INSPIRE TO VICTORY
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Apr 14 2006, 06:13 PM
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 Distinguished Member Group: Members Posts: 681 Joined: 4-May 05 From: Tucson, AZ Member No.: 19,038 |
Even though I read these elsewhere, it's still funny to read what children can do!!
-------------------- Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
- Rick Cook I visit this site on and off. If anybody needs to contact me, PM me and I'll be notified by email. |
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Apr 14 2006, 10:17 PM
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#9
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 To INSANITY and BEYOND !! Group: Moderator Posts: 7,820 Joined: 10-September 04 From: NJ USA Member No.: 2,608 |
Oh man that's just hilarious..
-------------------- Can you spare some PC cycles to help FIND A CURE .. BC FOLDING TEAM Click me /info..
ThoughtVent a goodplace to discuss.<<>>>Staying Updated Calendar of Updates. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.... |
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Jun 19 2006, 01:15 PM
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 Senior Member Group: Members Posts: 398 Joined: 10-April 06 From: Nottingham England Home to the Hood of Robin Member No.: 63,547 |
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha,so so true
-------------------- ....And on the 8th day God said, "When my children are intelligent, and create the Computer, for my sake may they never screw around with the registry or subscribe to AOL"
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Feb 9 2007, 10:12 AM
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New Member Group: Members Posts: 3 Joined: 21-January 07 Member No.: 107,460 |
 lolll 
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Feb 9 2007, 07:15 PM
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 **pixie in training** Group: Members Posts: 1,853 Joined: 13-November 06 From: Honolulu, Hawaii Member No.: 95,371 |
I guess I'll consider that birth control!
--------------------   I search for Sjogrens Syndrome Foundation...Who will you search for? |
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Feb 10 2007, 07:46 PM
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#13
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 Bleeping Diesel Addicted Group: BC Advisor Posts: 1,606 Joined: 23-January 06 From: SW VA USA Member No.: 51,954 |
QUOTE(Pandy @ Apr 11 2006, 01:45 PM) 12. Super glue IS forever. This is where the Brake Fluid comes in. (or rubbing alcohol, paint thinner/striper/reducer, or other skin drying agent) QUOTE(yano @ Apr 11 2006, 04:50 PM) QUOTE(cowsgonemadd3 @ Apr 11 2006, 04:06 PM) You know this is pitiful... "60% of the men who read this will try the Clorox and Brake Fluid." So true because I was going to try it! Still might do it for a fun. I think this one if a funny one! Yea. I was just about to try that too. Already done it it's COOL!!!! 
--------------------  "I'm so much cooler online" - Brad Paisley |
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Feb 25 2007, 11:18 AM
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#14
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Member Group: Members Posts: 132 Joined: 10-December 06 Member No.: 100,544 |
Ahhh. Memories of when i was that age...I didnt know about the brake fluid thing. I wonder if we have some in our garage?...........
-------------------- Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
--Charles Schultz |
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