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 Apr 5 2006, 08:41 AM
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#61
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 Member  Group: Members Posts: 126 Joined: 15-February 06 Member No.: 55,275  |
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Apr 5 2006, 08:50 AM
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#62
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Member Group: Members Posts: 126 Joined: 15-February 06 Member No.: 55,275 |
Why did the blond stare at the carton of oj for an hour?
Because it said concentrated  
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Apr 5 2006, 08:53 AM
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#63
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Member Group: Members Posts: 126 Joined: 15-February 06 Member No.: 55,275 |
A prist and a muslem were at a boxing match when the boxer entered the ring he blessed himself the muslem asked the prist What does that mean the prist answered NOT A THING IF HE CANT FIGHT
This post has been edited by currmac: Apr 5 2006, 09:19 AM -------------------- INSPIRE TO VICTORY
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Apr 12 2006, 09:25 AM
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#64
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 To INSANITY and BEYOND !! Group: Moderator Posts: 9,266 Joined: 10-September 04 From: NJ USA Member No.: 2,608 |
good ones currmac
BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED; FOR IT IS THEY WHO LET IN THE LIGHT Let's see if I understand how the world works lately... If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work, he blames the restaurant. If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company. If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the bartender. If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television. If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer. And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the crazed deceased blames the airline. I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is anymore. So, if I die while my old wrinkled arse is parked in front of this computer, I want all of you to blame Bill Gates...okay? -------------------- Can you spare some PC cycles to help FIND A CURE .. BC FOLDING TEAM Click me /info..
ThoughtVent a goodplace to discuss.<<>>>Staying Updated Calendar of Updates. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.... |
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Apr 12 2006, 09:28 AM
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#65
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 Bleeping GloDiva Group: Members Posts: 7,479 Joined: 25-April 04 From: As always I'm beside myself ;) Member No.: 228 |
OMG LMAO I'll be sure to make note of that boopme. No worries, your arse is covered. 
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Apr 12 2006, 08:58 PM
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#66
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To INSANITY and BEYOND !! Group: Moderator Posts: 9,266 Joined: 10-September 04 From: NJ USA Member No.: 2,608 |
Thanks Scarlett, Nice to know you can still count on people
 Wanted to post another w/ pic ..Have to see if i can work it out on test page -------------------- Can you spare some PC cycles to help FIND A CURE .. BC FOLDING TEAM Click me /info..
ThoughtVent a goodplace to discuss.<<>>>Staying Updated Calendar of Updates. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.... |
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Apr 13 2006, 04:21 PM
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#67
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 Bleepin' Conundrum Group: Global Moderator Posts: 9,305 Joined: 26-April 04 From: 65 miles due East of the "Logic Free Zone", in Md, USA Member No.: 235 |
While visiting a mental asylum, a relative of a patient asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether
or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the director, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand." said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No," said the director. "A normal person would pull the drain plug. Would you like a room with or without a view?" -------------------- |
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Apr 13 2006, 04:31 PM
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#68
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Bleeping GloDiva Group: Members Posts: 7,479 Joined: 25-April 04 From: As always I'm beside myself ;) Member No.: 228 |
 Um.. a view please. I love that one!!
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Apr 13 2006, 06:22 PM
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#69
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To INSANITY and BEYOND !! Group: Moderator Posts: 9,266 Joined: 10-September 04 From: NJ USA Member No.: 2,608 |
 a view... do they have double occupancy rates -------------------- Can you spare some PC cycles to help FIND A CURE .. BC FOLDING TEAM Click me /info..
ThoughtVent a goodplace to discuss.<<>>>Staying Updated Calendar of Updates. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.... |
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Apr 17 2006, 10:25 AM
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#70
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 I can see what you post! Group: Members Posts: 6,374 Joined: 14-February 05 Member No.: 12,053 |
I got a couple:
1st: Did you hear the pope has the bird flu? Yea he got it from a cardinal. 2nd One day my uncle Jim was sitting at a diner watching the the traffic go by. This one car hit a rabbit and killed him! Well the driver of the car stopped, got out of his vehcile, went to his trunk. Grabbed a spray bottle, sprated the rabbit. The rabbit immediately jumped up and took off running, after about 50ft, he turned around and waved. Another 50ft he waved, and another 50ft he waved again. Well with my uncle as curious as he is, wanted to know what the heck was in that bottle. So he went over to the driver and asked him before he left. He said, 'it's a hair spray with permanent wave." 3rd: (remember this is just humour) One day 3 guys were trying to get into Heaven. God asked the Italian first "What is the meaning of Easter?" The Italian said "I don't know, it's when everyone comes to my store and buys candy..." God says "No," and moves him off to the side. Then God asked the Jew "What is the meaning of Easter?" The Jew responded "I don't know, that's when everyone comes to my store and buys clothes?" God says "No," and moves him off to the side. Finally God asked the Pollock "What is the meaning of Easter?" The Pollock said "That's when they crusified Christ on the cross and he was put in the tomb and the rock was rolled over the entrance," God interrupted and said "You too (the Italian and the Jew) listen to him..." The Pollock continued "and on the 3rd day they moved the rock and Jesus came out and saw his shadow and they had 6 more weeks of bad weather."
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Apr 17 2006, 08:36 PM
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#71
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To INSANITY and BEYOND !! Group: Moderator Posts: 9,266 Joined: 10-September 04 From: NJ USA Member No.: 2,608 |
Chinese Food
-------------------- Can you spare some PC cycles to help FIND A CURE .. BC FOLDING TEAM Click me /info..
ThoughtVent a goodplace to discuss.<<>>>Staying Updated Calendar of Updates. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.... |
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Apr 17 2006, 08:43 PM
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#72
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To INSANITY and BEYOND !! Group: Moderator Posts: 9,266 Joined: 10-September 04 From: NJ USA Member No.: 2,608 |
I know He was trying for an Elizabeth Taylor look, BUT I think he got all Joan Crawford
-------------------- Can you spare some PC cycles to help FIND A CURE .. BC FOLDING TEAM Click me /info..
ThoughtVent a goodplace to discuss.<<>>>Staying Updated Calendar of Updates. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.... |
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May 5 2006, 11:53 AM
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#73
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 New Member Group: Members Posts: 7 Joined: 3-May 06 From: computer ;-) Member No.: 66,550 |
QUOTE(Scarlett @ Jan 24 2006, 02:32 PM)  HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.  That's HILARIOUS!! -------------------- All knowledge seeming innocent and pure becomes a deadly weapon in the hands of avarice and greed. -EGAIII
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May 5 2006, 02:17 PM
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#74
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I can see what you post! Group: Members Posts: 6,374 Joined: 14-February 05 Member No.: 12,053 |
Nice one scarlett!
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May 9 2006, 08:40 PM
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#75
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To INSANITY and BEYOND !! Group: Moderator Posts: 9,266 Joined: 10-September 04 From: NJ USA Member No.: 2,608 |
An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"! "What powerful rivers"! "What beautiful animals"! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!" Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"? The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"? "Very Well," said the voice. The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen." -------------------- Can you spare some PC cycles to help FIND A CURE .. BC FOLDING TEAM Click me /info..
ThoughtVent a goodplace to discuss.<<>>>Staying Updated Calendar of Updates. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.... |
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