Mugger

Mugger Gotta love this

#1 rowal5555

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Posted 01 June 2011 - 07:32 AM

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T..

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason..my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan.. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,

Alex

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#2 petewills

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Posted 01 June 2011 - 09:17 AM

Love it.

Probably a bit of light relief after Afghanistan.

Kicking *** and taking names - in the UK we would probably offer a cup of tea and counselling. :lol:

#3 joggiwagga

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Posted 01 June 2011 - 09:54 AM

well i guess that wouldn't count as a 'missed connection'
:D

#4 buddy215

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Posted 01 June 2011 - 10:44 AM

Snopes.com is the place I go to when getting emails with subjects such as this or something that
doesn't pass my smell test.
snopes.com: Letter to Mugger
Claim: Letter from a putative victim apologizes to a mugger for foiling his robbery attempt.

Posted Image

FALSE

Examples:

[Collected via e-mail, January 2009]

Posted to Craig's List Personals:

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)

#5 rowal5555

Just enough info to be armed & dangerous...

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Posted 01 June 2011 - 02:07 PM

Who cares whether it's true or not...it's FUNNY

rowal5555 (Rob )
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#6 petewills

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Posted 01 June 2011 - 02:10 PM

I don't mind being taken in, occasionally, it's very funny, wish it were true!

#7 BlackSpyder

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Posted 01 June 2011 - 05:59 PM

I'll share since the topic is Marines vs Criminals:

Might need to click the link to read it.

#8 petewills

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Posted 01 June 2011 - 07:03 PM

That curb was HIGH :lol:

Doncha just love the Corps.

#9 Union_Thug

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Posted 01 June 2011 - 07:33 PM

BlackSpyder, on 01 June 2011 - 05:59 PM, said:

I'll share since the topic is Marines vs Criminals:

While this is also funny the article's apparently a photoshop. Snopes is your friend... http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/stabbedmarine.asp

Posted Image

This post has been edited by Union_Thug: 01 June 2011 - 07:34 PM

#10 computerxpds

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Posted 02 June 2011 - 02:10 PM

Now this is a hilarious thread! So funny lol. :hysterical:

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#11 Drovers Dog

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Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:11 AM

This is an oldie but a Goodie.

Australian SAS

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune.

"One Australian SAS soldier is better than ten Taliban".

The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice then calls out "One Australian SAS soldier is better than one hundred Taliban".

Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The Australian voice calls out again "One Australian SAS soldier is better than one thousand Taliban".

The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, it's a trap,. .. there's actually two of them."

Ray.

What ever you give to others, you will get back doubled, Just make sure you only give Nice Things?......DD saying

There is a saying, "You just can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear" it means "to be happy with what you have and not look for the impossible"......DD saying

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#12 rowal5555

Just enough info to be armed & dangerous...

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Posted 03 June 2011 - 06:39 PM

Good one

:hysterical:

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#13 BlackSpyder

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Posted 03 June 2011 - 10:22 PM

This was at the DailyMail today "I took him to war" Army vet takes bank robber

#14 Layback Bear

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Posted 04 June 2011 - 11:17 AM

I wonder if the ACLU is going to take Mr. Peoples to court for hurting the bad guy.The bad guy had left the bank there for the people in the bank were no longer in danger.
Great story. Thank you BlackSpyder!

#15 rowal5555

Just enough info to be armed & dangerous...

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Posted 30 June 2011 - 12:11 AM

IMHO there is something fatally flawed with a legal system which sides with the perpetrator,

To my way of thinking, anyone who sets out to harm in any way another person or their property should forego any rights whatsoever. If they should be damaged during that activity then YEE HAAA, serves ya right; give the other guy a medal.