BleepingComputer.com: Bullies

So my mom and I got into a discussion about which child was a bully and i would like to know your opinions. So here is the story, Boy A calls Boy B poor so while in the bathroom Boy B pushes Boy A against a wall and says " I will break your arm." That's the whole story so make your choices wisely

Neither. Being a single incident with no back history it doesn't meet my requirement for bullying. That being said I'm always wrong so most likely whichever childs parents scream bloody murder the loudest the other one will be called the "bully". Nevermind its just kids being kids.

As BlackSpyder says, there is insufficient information to make the call that either fits the profile of a bully. Definition of a bully according to TheFreeDictionary: bul·ly 1 (bl)
n. pl. bul·lies
1. A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.
2. A hired ruffian; a thug.

In the case you describe we don't know the 'history' to know if this is 'habitual' behavior or a case of 'heat of the moment' acting out. Also very unlikely that Boy B is a hired 'ruffian or thug'. Therefore insufficient data to ascribe the moniker bully to either individual.

Talk about being over analytical. I think hes asking personal opinion. Would I be wrong in saying that Bassplayer15?

When it comes to judging a child/persons character and assigning a 'label'. I would hope I was considered over analytical instead of quick to judge. I endeavor to try and give the benefit of the doubt the first time. So thanks for the compliment.

So if he's asking for an opinion, as you suggest. I would say I can't make one, based on the information presented. I would not be presumptuous enough to call someone a bully based on the current amount of information provided. Especially if you factor in the comment, "so make your choices wisely."

@Bassplayer15,as it so happens a few years ago i dealth with a situation kinda like you discribe here.....
Let me preface this by tellin you that I transport "Special needs children " to school.....
I had 2 elementary school boys on my bus......
one was from a well to do family...nice house, nice neighborhood ect...you get the picture.. the 2nd little boy was from a not so well to do family..lived in a mobile home park..ok neighborhood.....ect....
now boy #1 would sneek up behind Boy #2 and whisper thanges to him like "Your stupid" which would up set boy #2 and when Boy #2 had, had enough he would knock boy #1 on his butt.....Now to an outside observer it would look like boy #2 was a bully as this happened quite often, BUt i knew the whole story as i take the time to get to know my student's.....Boy #1 wasn't on my bus because he was challenged....he was there because i was his body guard.....why was i his body guard you might ask....because the situation that i just described to you was this childs method of operating, he was looking for attention...because his father was a workaholic and didn't pay much attention to his son......
Boy #2's father has committed suicide in ther front yard and his son had found him......which would mess with anybodys mind, especially that of a child..so when the world got to be too much for him to handle he would have a meltdown...his mother's answer to this was to committ him to the local hospital's mental health wing and have him shot full of drug's......we won't go into what i thought about his mother.....GRRrrrrrr anyway i digress....
Because boy #1 was so good at bein subtle at his meaness, even the teachers didn't pick up on what he was doin...all they saw was that once again boy #2 was knockin boy #1 on his butt.......
now before the whole story who would you have thought to be the bully???...boy #2 right......
and incidently i line out boy #1 and out a stop to his bullyin of boy #2
and as paul harvey would say.....now you know the rest of the story.....you can't alway's judge by what a situation "Looks" like........

I've attended some conferences, including the Paul Munger Conference of 2003, in which bullying was the subject. An important thing to add to the definition Animal described is that the bully and the bullied have a real or perceived difference in power. Power is not always physical, just more obvious, and bullying does not necessarily involve physical punching etc. Peer mediation does not work in these situations.

Studies also show that many bullies also are bullied themselves and frequently end up in the criminal justice system.

Behaviour like this is not just a "kid" thing, it is very serious and causes long-lasting internal pain.

The above is summarized from the conferences I attended, the two resources linked to below, and other resources I cannot locate at the moment.

http://www.doe.in.gov/isssa/bullystatistics.html

http://www.doe.in.gov/sservices/pdf/bullying.pdf

I would say in this case they BOTH acted like bullies in this instance. Are they habitual bullies? Who knows with what information has been provided, but both need to have their behaviours addressed in this situation. Both acted inappropriately. Edited to add: To quote from the Powerpoint (in PDF version) I linked to above, "Be careful of stigmatizing students as either bullies or victims."

Orange Blossom

This post has been edited by Orange Blossom: 03 December 2009 - 10:03 PM

I would have to say, fights like that happen between best friends. I need more information before I can place a vote. any way.