 HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT |
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 Mar 9 2009, 04:00 PM
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#1
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 Visiting Alien  Group: BC Advisor Posts: 9,342 Joined: 20-May 07 From: millenium falcon and rockytop Member No.: 131,963  |
of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle 's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets into Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of t hese religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we must look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle 's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that she slept with me last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over! The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.' THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+ whether this is true does not take away from it's humor This post has been edited by DaChew: Mar 9 2009, 04:01 PM -------------------- Chewy
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Mar 9 2009, 04:49 PM
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#2
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 Computer Masochist Group: Moderator Posts: 22,937 Joined: 27-January 07 From: Cleveland, Ohio Member No.: 108,618 |
Priceless
-------------------- Mark
 why won't my laptop work? Having grandkids is God's way of giving you a 2nd chance because you were too busy working your butt off the 1st time around Do not send me PMs with problems that should be posted in the forums. Keep it in the forums, so everyone benefits Become a BleepingComputer fan: Facebook and Twitter |
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Mar 9 2009, 06:18 PM
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#3
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Forum Addict Group: Members Posts: 1,271 Joined: 20-January 06 From: UK | NZ Member No.: 51,519 |
I love that! I remember reading at least 6years ago though :D
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Mar 10 2009, 09:49 AM
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#4
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 Bleepin' Psychopomp Group: Members Posts: 1,382 Joined: 21-February 08 From: UK Member No.: 191,594 |
Brilliant!
-------------------- ~ E-Mu ~
"Emu, You Moo, We All Moo for Emu!" <-- Thanks to Animal "If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0" |
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Mar 10 2009, 03:24 PM
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#5
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 Senior Member Group: Members Posts: 454 Joined: 6-February 09 Member No.: 292,313 |
 Pretty good!!! But he forgot that Hell could be expanding at a rate equal to the increase of souls in Hell, and then the temperature and pressure would stay the same. Hell would stay hell forever, and wait for Teresa. -------------------- Message from Patbox: I AM LOOKING FOR A GIRLFRIEND (PM if interested) :-)
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Mar 11 2009, 08:23 PM
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#6
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 Member Group: Members Posts: 123 Joined: 1-September 05 From: This side of the moon Member No.: 32,910 |
 that's priceless....
-------------------- When there's a wolf at your door.....Look him straight in the eyes
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to be over.....It's about learning to dance in the rain.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vshlrz2B63o |
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Mar 11 2009, 10:28 PM
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#7
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 Member Group: Members Posts: 124 Joined: 7-September 08 From: Texas Member No.: 236,912 |
Thanks Chewy,
I needed that one! 
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Apr 1 2009, 07:42 PM
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#8
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 Member Group: Members Posts: 63 Joined: 26-March 09 Member No.: 312,849 |
Hehe, good one!
But unfortunantly, it appears the argument is based on one small, but devastating assumption that completely dismantles the entire argument. That souls are natural, having effect on and by natural laws, physics and chemistry. Souls are supernatural by definition. The supernatural and natural exist and operate in completely different realities and dimensions. Physics and chemistry themselves, are properties of the natural world, the physical universe. To assume that a supernatural, immaterial object such as a soul, is effected by and effects natural physical objects such as the "fires of Hell," which are assumed, by the student, to operate according to chemistry and physics, which are natural, is to speculate the effects of two things that exist in and operate by a completely different set of laws. Its comparable to asking, "if i put 20 fish instead 10 in a fish tank, filled completely with water, will it increase or decrease the amount wind turbulence in the water?" No, because there is no wind turbulence in water. Or "do the numerical digits 20+5 = the color green?" No because the number 20 + the number 5 = the number 25, not a color. Therefore the supernatural and natural will not effect each other according to the laws of physics and chemistry in the same manner two natural objects will. hehe 
This post has been edited by nvpcfixit: Apr 1 2009, 07:56 PM -------------------- John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
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Apr 1 2009, 08:24 PM
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#9
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 Distinguished Member Group: Members Posts: 848 Joined: 6-August 08 From: Canada Member No.: 228,067 |
-------------------- Avira AntiVir Personal | COMODO Firewall | Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware | SpywareBlaster | WOT "There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called present." |
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Apr 1 2009, 08:52 PM
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#10
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Visiting Alien Group: BC Advisor Posts: 9,342 Joined: 20-May 07 From: millenium falcon and rockytop Member No.: 131,963 |
QUOTE Therefore the supernatural and natural will not effect each other according to the laws of physics and chemistry in the same manner two natural objects will. Newton spent a lot more time trying to turn lead into gold than developing calculus or the laws of gravitation -------------------- Chewy
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Apr 1 2009, 08:56 PM
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#11
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Distinguished Member Group: Members Posts: 848 Joined: 6-August 08 From: Canada Member No.: 228,067 |
QUOTE(DaChew @ Apr 1 2009, 09:52 PM)  Newton spent a lot more time trying to turn lead into gold than developing calculus or the laws of gravitation Really? -------------------- Avira AntiVir Personal | COMODO Firewall | Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware | SpywareBlaster | WOT "There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called present." |
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Apr 1 2009, 09:02 PM
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#12
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 Member Group: Members Posts: 86 Joined: 31-March 09 From: Clarksville, TN. Member No.: 315,198 |
 That's freakin' priceless! xD -------------------- Just Your Fellow Computer Wiz.  |
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Jul 2 2009, 08:53 PM
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#13
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 Member Group: Members Posts: 33 Joined: 8-May 09 Member No.: 329,745 |
like others have said, priceless....!
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Jul 3 2009, 01:39 AM
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#14
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 Official Bleepin' Bama Belle Group: BC Advisor Posts: 2,313 Joined: 24-February 07 From: Tuscaloosa, Alabama Member No.: 113,731 |
Right now my house is suffering from a severe case of being extremely hot while my ac tech tries to figure out where a small freon leak is. He would do something, inject with freon, the unit would work perfectly for a few days then back to sweltering. If you have never been in the south in the US in the summer, you don't know what miserable is. Especially if you have never been pregnant in the south during the summer. (I'm not but I remember the experiences from 20 odd years ago when I was)
It's so hot right now that my house is 50 degrees hotter than hell. I wish it would freeze over, then maybe my house would cool down. Good news today-after 4 weeks of on again/off again ac after several freon injections, he FINALLY found the leak in a place where they normally don't have leaks. First thing this morning, he will return and repair the leak. This will avoid having to wait for a warranty part to be ordered, to arrive, then be installed. We hope this will be the only leak and the problem will be solved. -------------------- |
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Jul 3 2009, 01:48 AM
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#15
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 Bleepin' GloMod Group: Global Moderator Posts: 6,678 Joined: 11-April 04 From: Whence I came Member No.: 108 |
I hope it is all fixed for you Queen-Evie.. I would not want to suffer that sort of heat prgnant or not.. I am not.
That is a pretty funny paper. Good thing I am not going to hell, therefore I feel the whole thing is moot.. we are not supposed to want to know these sorts of things.. why can't we talk about Heaven. I want to go to Heaven.. well in due time.. not any time soon really. And besides I do not think Teresa as a human would have an effect on hell freezing over. Not unless she is some sort of Servant of Hell. -------------------- Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.
~ Benjamin Franklin Walk plank, srsly. I am a Bleeping Computer fan! Are you? Facebook Follow us on Twitter |
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