I now control the hill

Taking this one from my buddy's tac talk board
This could get creative with all the gamers around here.

The Rules:
-You may use any means to take the hill from the previous owne. IE, stealth/brute force/unconventional tactics/etc
-Nothing is off limits you may assume you have "helpers" to move large objects or otherwise co-ordinate or synchronize your actions but try to rely on yourself
-Don't destroy the hill please ( in the last board it only took about 3 posts before someone burrowed under the hill with 50lb's of c4...damn combat engineers)
-End your post with I now have the hill

Mods feel free to add rules or otherwise change anything if you think this can get out of hand.

I sat back and watched as the creator of the hill had finished his work and climbed to the top of his hill, sat down and cracked a can of his cold beverage of choice. In the darkness of the night I surround the hill with high intensity lights. Wearing a welding mask I calmly walk up the hill to my newly blinded foe, take the beverage from him and boot him off the top of the hill.

I now have the hill...and a nice cold one

well I thought it was a great game haha I'll give it one bump and if it flops again I'll let it die

I cut the power to said high power lights and hired chuck norris to boot you off the hill. I now have the hill and a bodygaurd.

I set up one click out with a high powered rifle, pull the trigger and wait for that crushed watermelon sound. ditto for the second target while they scramble to figure out where the shot came from.

I now control the hill

Unfortunatly, Chuck Norris can dodge all bullets, but decided he had more important things to do then gaurd a hill.

So I instead go and find Godzilla, and have him chase you off the hill. I now control the hill.

tsk tsk,for you see I have Monthra anddd King kong on my side, guess who NO longer has control of the hill...

I have taken the hill....

I scoped out the hill and realized that the new head honcho of the hill had become complacent after being in control of the hill for nearly an entire month without being challenged. I seized the opportunity and hired a blimp to drop a cell phone on the hill and then hired a professional 419 agent to make a tantalizing offer.

*ring ring*

MissPlaced: Hello?
419 Agent: Good Evening, fine lady and master of the glorious hill. I'm calling to request your assistance in an important matter.
MissPlaced: Ok... how can I help you?
419 Agent: My cousin was a very wealthy controller of many hills in Abidjan before he passed away of oxygen deprivation. Those hills are quite high. In his will, he granted me control of all of his 17 hills, however, I'm afraid of heights so as you can surely understand I have a dilemma. I have searched high and low, hoping to find a suitable controller and master of these 17 hills. I had almost lost all hope until I spotted you majestically perched on the top of your glorious hill.
MissPlaced: Why thank you... who are you again?
419 Agent: I am a man desperately trying to find a hill master. Please, you must help me. The blimp dropped a map of the hills along with the passwords you will need to get past the guards.
MissPlaced: The blimp only dropped the phone, I don't see a map anywhere.
419 Agent: Oh... the wind must have blown the map off the hill. QUICK! You must find the map before it falls into the wrong hands. You must... before... do not...
MissPlaced: Hello? Hello?!
419 Agent: ...
MissPlaced: Hello?

*click*

MissPlaced scans her surroundings and doesn't see anyone around. She quickly makes her way down the hill and searches for the map. After searching for a few minutes she finds a piece of paper that says:

Congratulations, you're the new owner of 17 fictitious hills in Abidjan. Is that even a real city? I received a random email from someone claiming to be the prince of this city. Anyway, while you're away on your adventure to find these nonexistent hills, I'll remain perched on top of this real one.

Your Friend,

King Ted Striker
Controller of The Hill
Top Banana

P.S. I now have the hill.

"first post... sorry i'm usually a lurker but this looks fun "

Using my high tech cell phone surveillace tech I listened to this phone call and heard the entire thing.
It was little effort to call the local hill-top authorities and accuse Striker for hiring agents to sell fake hills without a fake hill top realitor licence!
He was served a court notice the following day and had no choice but to abandon the hill unless he wanted a failure to appear.

I now control the hill.

*made a phone call to the IRS claiming that discolawls hadnt paid the proper taxes on the hill, they came and arrested him for back taxes owed that he couldnt pay. I know control the hill.

Location:
Courtroom

Ted Striker: I can't believe I got caught selling fake hills without having a fake hill top realtor license! Who even knew such a license existed?
DiscoLawls: Hello there!
Ted Striker: YOU! You are the reason I'm no longer in control of the hill. You should pay my fine.
DiscoLawls: Stop whining. You got outsmarted, deal with it.
Ted Striker: I'll show you how I'll deal with it. Put 'em up!

*DiscoLawls strikes a Muay Thai pose*

Ted Striker: What the... what are you doing?
DiscoLawls: Come close and I'll show you.

*DiscoLawls begins to approach Ted, prompting Ted to quickly run away.*

Ted Striker: Get away! I bruise easily.

*While Ted is running he bumps into Big Vito*

Vito: Ay oh, oh ay. Been a long time, Ted.
Ted Striker: Vito... what are you doing here?
Vito: Ah you know. I ran into a bit of a problem so I'm here paying a civil disturbance fine.
Ted Striker: What happened?
Vito: Nothing major. I had to rearrange some mamaluke's nose and some property got damaged. What's new?
Ted Striker: Well, I was the controller of a hill for a little while but someone called the authorities on me so I lost the hill.
Vito: You can't let the Federales bring you down.
Ted Striker: Will you help me get my hill back?
Vito: Sure, who do I have to whack?
Ted Striker: No, no. I have a violence free plan.
Vito: Those plans don't work. It's better if I shoot him in the face.
Ted Striker: No, no... here's the plan.

*Ted explains his plan to Vito and the two make their way to the hill*

the_patriot11: Back off, the hill is mine.
Ted Striker: We're here to offer you a congratulatory snack. Here's a gabagool sandwich.
the_patriot11: No thanks. Now if you don't mind, I have a hill to tend to. Please leave.
Ted Striker: Come on! No one can resist gabagool. Just have a bite, it's not like I laced it with a substance that will make you pass out. Seriously, this is some really good gabagool.
the_patriot11: Get out of here before I...

*Vito shoots the_patriot11 in the face*

Vito: See, I told you your plan wouldn't work. Have fun playing with your hill. Call me if you need anything.
Ted Striker: ...

*After collecting his thoughts, Ted makes a phone call*

DiscoLawls: Hello.
Ted Striker: I now control the hill.

My Dearest Ted, Patroit,and discolawls..you wanna know what is the most interestin thing about Halograms???
They look so real, when in fact their not.....I've beem watchin you all have a wondeful time tryin to take my Halogram hill
Guess who still has her hill?? I DO...really boyz ya gotta do better...

*has scotty beam missplaced and her hologram technology a planet far far away. Is now in control of the hill*