Hey everyone,

What attributes do you find ugly and what attributes do you find beautiful?

Is your Mr/Mrs right the same as your partner in real life?

The obvious and safe answer to this question would be for all of us to mention personality attributes or to say that our partner/enemy is Mr or Mrs right/wrong. Although these might be the correct answers do they truely represent how you feel? Did your partner/enemy fit exactly into your prefixed template of attractiveness/unattractiveness?

I would much appreciate to hear what people find physically attractive/unattractive aswell as the usual "classic" personality attributes, style/ state of being/ hygeine that they feel make people beautiful.

CHEERS everyone

Well, to answer honestly... I was always a chest man, I loved big full...you know. Until I met my wife. She has the best behind I have ever seen, and great legs! I was converted instantly. And her eyes are completely gorgeous.

Attractive:
Athleticism- lithe body, graceful movement, coordination
Symmetry throughout body
Firm curves
The ability to make a 'pouty mouth'
Soothing voice


My wife did not fit. She blew the template away. Sometimes I wonder how I pulled it off (you know, charming her into marrying me ).

Nope, my parter is nothing at all like my original perceived idea of 'physical perfection' - - at least not in all areas - and while attractive to other people, he's truly beautiful to me! So I can surely relate to blueandgold04's lovely wife "blowing the template away" from his original perceived ideas too. Huge happy smile!

As I get older, I realize that the really old adage, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is so true - and since I'm a lover of sitting on a park bench watching the world go by, my heart has smiled a zillion times to watch a typically 'gorgeous' person go by hand in hand, and obviously in love with, someone that does not meet society's 'norm' for beautiful. Love it!

For this I'm going to ignore everything else just for the sake of looks, yup how very shallow of me. But there is no real ideal woman, a compromise has to be found for what you want and what you get. ie very very rich, very intelligent, very funny, caring, loving, good cook, the list is endless.

Small 5ft 0in ish
Slim
Features:
Asian - Korean, Thai, Philippenes, Chinese, Japanese.
Favorite is half-caste of any of the above.

Cant say exactly what it is thats sooo attractive.
Who's hot.

Devon Aoki - Dead or Alive
Tia Carrere - lots of movies
Ziyi Zhang - Memoirs of a Geisha
Michelle Rodriguez loads of movies

And finally my girlfriend.

Hey Bilko, thankyou for your reply, so how closely does your girlfriend fit your ideal? or is she completely different? (but just right of course all the same )

Oh yeah, btw, i am also interested in what people find unattractive aswell, and HA HAAA although i might of come across as a bit anal in the beginning, feel free to include other attributes of attractiveness and unattractness too *nods*

CHEERS

Time to be honest.
She's Thai, 5ft, 50kg, slim but curvy, apparently not very pretty by Thai standards, but I think she looks fantastic. Pretty poor, pretty dumb, Thai education system is quite poor(but streetwise to high heaven), speaks 5 languages (so is she still dumb??? I only speak 2), very funny, brilliant cook, good friend.

As I said before my ideal woman doesnt exist. Ideal woman is just a fantasy and un-obtainable.

Even though she doesnt meet my ideal woman shopping list, I stll love her and wont change her, until someone that meets more on my shopping list comes along (joke before you men haters start)

Unattractive
Most of the unattractive features are in the personality.

Overweight. A little bit not to bad, but obese definatley out.
Big backside.
Dressing slutty --- very nice to look at when your chasing the girl, but not so nice when you got her.
Inappropriate use of bad language.
Drinking to much on a reglular basis.

And what is likely to get me hate mail. Physically handicapped.

I like Southern Country girls. The current (and soon to be ex if she keeps on) is a Yankee City girl.

Okay, now I'm truly curious ... what is the difference between 'Southern Country' and a 'Yankee City' girl - other than where they actually live, of course?

Oh dear, hopefully no one will throw 'stones' at you for being honest about, "And what is likely to get me hate mail. Physically handicapped", bilko . If this is a 'turn off' to you, that's simply what it is, a 'turn off to you'.

Attitude, the way they carry themselves, of yeah and country girls dont complain when I bring "bambi" home in the back of my truck for dinner

Okay so I am younger but I get a vote too.
Male here for all who dont know and a teen.
First


Fat...watch it wiggle see it jiggle no no no....I mean like REALLY overweight like 30lbs or more you know like noticeable not like a little. Girls look, well its up to the girl but they look like "poor" when bone thin.

Oh and Southern Girls are the Prettiest and Coolest Acting around. And the West has some nice ones too. Yankee I dont know.... Go SC girls ha ha.
I'm sure they are pretty everywhere but to me them southern girls like the guy above said have a cool personality compared to others.

A lot of guys would come in here and say I like "Big chest" which is okay but too big equals back trouble and such later on. Also the old saying what goes up must come down comes into mind.

To me its like beauty I mean I do like boobs and such as a guy but its not what I judge a girl on. I personally like the eyes and the face and the overall form. Much prefer the eyes and face looking good over a set of big boobs.

I like taller girls though like anything over 5'3" or 5'4" because I am 6'2.5" or so. I know this once 20 year old Girl who is 6 foot tall!

Other physical things are like being fit like not overweight. Its like all up to the height as far as weight.

Us guys tend to be really visual. Just watching girls walk by can drive us nuts I am sure every guy here can agree.

For a girl it seems appearences arent super high on the list like guys. Some hot girls would marry a bald guy when most guys would not marry a bald girl unless she was a great woman.

As far as personality wise I dont have to much to say. Just not to nitpicky or overbearing and bossy and someone who is understanding and patient with us guys ha ha.

I also dont like redheads with the acception of a few kinda like Linsay Lohan. Mainly because of the skin complexion seems to be pale and freckily like they could burn easy.

I really like Brown,Black or Dark brown the most. This is because of the color and the skin complexion. I like some blonds but it seems the hottest girls I know are Brown haired or Black haired or of course Brown. Plus they seem taller than the blondes. Like the Girls I know that are Brown haired are like 5'7"-5'10" or so while the blondes can be from 5'2"-5'5" or so. But its not always the case as I know other girls that dont fit these height levels for the hair color.

This is just what I like about Women so far in my almost 18 years this Sunday. Never dated anyone yet so I am sure I will find out lots more soon enough ha ha. Like one I know now. Guys talk like 6k words a day and girls talk like 30k a day. Yep its true....So when dating you have to compromise and talk 6 hours a day on the phone and talk at least 1/3 of the time ha ha. You could go from 6k while not dating to maybe 8k or if you are really happy that day maybe 10k.

I'm a male teenager (18).

I personally don't like the super skinny look that everyone in magazines obsesses over. It's not worth it. I don't want a toothpick I want something with a little meat on it. As for actual body features:

eyes - I first look for the face, must have pleasant easy-looking eyes. Something that you can look at and be comfortable starring at or even glancing at. I don't want eyes that are intimidating.

hair ~ I find hair a big key in attractiveness. I want someone who has semi long hair. I don't like the too short look, then they almost look like a guy. Anything to the shoulders works for me.

body ~ I'm average for my own body, with a few extra pounds. I want someone who looks like me or close to me. I don't want this "supermodel" look. Some not only look sickening. I don't want the toothpick body, to which you could wrap your hands around twice. I want someone who is average like me, and might have a few extra pounds. Now I'm not saying I want some huge obese person, but someone who would be average.

As for my girlfriend, she has all the characteristics that I have mentioned above. There are more features, almost every guys pays attention to, which I will not mention because it lies on the border of the forum rules (I think), plus I would feel uncomfortable talking about it online.

Agreed right there. Short hair is ugly. I know this girl who gets her hair cut short all over but the back has this like push up of hair thats like 4 inches longer than the rest. Short hair on a girl is a major turn off. Something about watching hair flop around ha ha.

Right on man! I am from Montana, and I met my wife there. But she is from TEXAS! God Bless Texas!
And I agree, they carry themselves differently, and it seems like they are trained on how to take care of a man. I mean, in all aspects, cooking, cleaning, consoling; she was the only one I found who knew how to provide all that I was looking for.

Also, something very attractive for me: I worry and get worked up over things. She is cool as the other side of the pillow! Your mate has to round you out emotionally, so that you are as a wheel, that can roll.

Oh dear, it sounds like there are a few hiccups in your and your lady's relationship right now, BlackSpyder - hope everything works out well!

Re: "And I agree, they carry themselves differently, and it seems like they are trained on how to take care of a man. I mean, in all aspects, cooking, cleaning, consoling; she was the only one I found who knew how to provide all that I was looking for" - I'm honestly so happy you've found the perfect lady for you, blueandgold04 ... but "cooking and cleaning" - gentle eek!!

i find that it does'nt mtter what your partner looks like (mines beautiful by the way,but are'nt they all)it's bout how you connect as a couple ,my wife is fantastic ,she cooks,cleans looks after our daughter and is an all round top lady. on the other hand i go to work cook sometimes(which i love too do)clean sometimes and look after the daughter. so i think i am a lucky guy and i think she is a lucky girl.
but the topic is called beauty and the beast nd i already said my wife is beautiful so guess who's the beast

My 1.5 cents...

I just want to say, that after seeing what my wife went through to have a child, every time I look at her I am in awe. I have the utmost respect for her, and she is now even more attractive to me than before. I don't know why that is, and hopefully its not shallow of me...I can't explain it, it is definitely not entirely physical. Her entire being is just more beautiful to me. She has most likely always been that way, its just my eyes were opened throughout the "having a child" process.

Also...my wife and I became best friends before we got married. We just absolutely love talking to each other and being with each other. I hope my post applies to the thread.

well said jwinathome i totally agree i also found the samething with my wife after childbirth,i found the whole experience
wonderful and since then i have held my wife in even greater esteem

I was lucky enough to find the Perfect Package.I am not going to rave on about her virtues.After 23 yrs, we are still Best Mates and believe it or not,we are still madly in Love, and can't bear to be away from each other for long.
I think if anyone got Short Changed in our Relationship,it would be my Wife.

I agree DSTM!



No, wait, I mean I know how you feel. I think my wife got the raw end of the deal too!

i know what you meant blueandgold04 and i also agree

Hey everyone,

Thankyou for all your posts so far, its really great to see all your different views. Its also interesting that MaraM appears to be the only female other than myself that is replying to this topic, although this may be a reflection of the figure ratio of sexes using BC, ha haaa figures as in numerical , it would be nice to compare some female views though.

I find "Ladder Theory" brings up some extremely interesting equations into the topic of attractiveness and unattractiveness, type it in your search engine and check it out (couldnt stick link in because of some language content in the more interesting articles...shame, apart from this they were quite viable)

I find this theory quite depressing and abhor the thought that i am constantly being rated, but its natural and appears viable. What do you lot think? Any arguments/inconsistencies? Who gets the raw deal?

NICE ONE!
nn23

I think short red hair is cute and sexy. I ought to know. I do not look like a dude at all! LOL If someone cant tell I'm a girl, then they have problems, or need glasses or both.

And yes I have pale skin, with just a few freckles, but I can tan. I don't go overboard on tanning though, it is not good for the skin. A little color is nice.
I'd rather have pale skin now, instead of leathery, wrinkled skin when Im old.

I get compliments from both males and females.
The world is full of people with many varying tastes. If we all liked the same stuff, the world would be a boring place.

Good personal hygiene, clean clothes, nice friendly personality and intelligence, are all important factors to me.
And for God's sake, men should be sure to trim ear and nose hair! And keep facial hair trimmed and neat.
Huge turn offs!

I agree...but its a total pain in the....you know. My wife helps me. She loves to help me with it. (No nose hair...just some ear hair. She plucks my eyebrows too. (This is embarrassing.)

lol I forgot the unibrow syndrome. That can be cleaned up at the barber.

Yeah, my wife just did my eyebrows last night! What a joy!

Thanks for the 'Ladder Theory', nn23 - the content was great fun to read (except for the guy's 'limited vocabulary' - groan).

And what fun to open the thread this morning and see humour - 'unibrow syndrome' and those pesky ear and nose hairs that seem to plague men. Mind you, I suspect it's not humourous to the person who is being plucked, pulled at and clipped - ouch!

And thanks for the defense of red-heads everywhere, Scarlett - huge happy smile! And you're right ... all my groaning because I could never have a great tan when younger and in fact, burned badly which, in turn, either kept me out of the sun or investing in super-duper sunblock has turned out to be a lovely thing now that I'm in my 50s - no leathery skin and luckily, few wrinkles (I simply think of the ones I have as 'happy lines' ).

And can I add to that list of 'turn-offs' - brush the teeth and wash the hair, please!

Further proof that men are not that bright.....This should be common sense for guys!! Wow.

But in defense of all the wonderful men I know, the majority of them are not just intelligent but wonderful people - it's simply that most find women a tad "confusing" perhaps. (Have no idea why - Huge smile!)

The one thing I truly disagree with in the article "Ladder" is that men and woman can't be 'just friends' - of course they can!

Well some red heads have the tannable skin and others get burnt in not time.

<< likes redheads. (dont know why but I do). I dont like the Ladder Theory its sounds too much like macho crap (not to mention the URL just screams it).

In all honesty Im not going to go out with a female just because she is easy (VD doesnt sound fun) or physically attractive (It doesnt hurt but average body will suffice provided she has a brain and knows how to use it) and there are plenty of women who want to go out with me even though Im broke (but Im still pretty. lol)

I only ever had dates with 2 Redheads,and found them very attractive and very bright for their age.I quite liked Redheads.
Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder.

Thanks for the defense of redheads, DSTM - huge happy smile!

When it comes to 'beauty and the beast', isn't it odd how we are drawn to some and not to others, though. For instance, line up 3 men or three woman, each group very similar in age, height, weight and facial bone structure and even clothing - and ask people to choose who they are attracted to - or not - and why.

I apologise for not being able to remember the name of the Study, but apprently the results were consistant for both sexes, oddly enough. Part of the reason for people choosing - or not choosing - certain ones was based on certain 'general beliefs' held by society. Redheads are 'fiery', blonds are 'dumb' and brunettes are passionate.

Of course, we all know that these beliefs are competely unfounded but so many things seem to affect how we relate to the opposite sex.

One thing I forgot to mention earlier was 'smell'. Don't mean the soap, shampoo or after shave (although many of these are lovely) - rather, I'm referring to the person's actual personal scent. Or am I the only one that 'sniffs' people out? - gentle grin.

Uh I dont smell people unless they stink....

Then how do you know they stink before you are "smelling" them?

That is a good point MaraM. A person's scent is key. The best time IMO is right after they wake up from a nap or something. Everyone has that person smell after they sleep.

Just another benefit to napping!! Aside from the cardiac benefits. You get a real whiff of who that person really is.

I like someone who enjoys cooking breakfast, baking bread, can do laundry and ironing and enjoys gardening and woodworking. Guess what? Dad does all those things!!

What I find attractive: A sincere smile and honesty. Someone who understands that a bouquet of just picked daisies means so much more than a purchased vase of roses.

Orange Blossom

HA HAAA OB, long time no speak

Yes, sincerity and honesty are both things that can win me over easily, i feel comfortable with people like this and the world is a beautiful place when i feel comfortable in it *nods*

Yes, i am not that bothered by hair as some of you may have read in other previous posts in the metro man thread, but one thing that i have found to be a turn off has always been men with pruned (plucked/waxed) eyebrows, it just doesnt do anything for me when it comes to the choosing a nice peice for drooling over.

What you were saying was interesting aswell MaraM, there are certain types of male odour that i do not find disagreeable, i have found myself quite attracted to past boyfriend's fresh (as in not stale) body odour. I am not an aftershave fan... what about you blokes? do you like scented women, do you like perfume, or do you think women with a natural smell are more attractive?

As for Red-heads, my friend Tam was always attracted to Men with dark skin and body builders. She is a very picky person with many things, and she is shocked herself by the distance the red headed man she is settling down and having a baby with is in looks from her "Mr Right". They are very happy and in love.

In Britian women with pale skin are often regarded to be an "English Rose" in a complementry manner *nods*.

Oh yeah, and yes, the ladder theory is very interesting, i suggest everyone do a search and have a read, it only takes about half an hour, because as you said Mara, apart from the occasional word, its quite an ammusing and interesting article .

Regarding that "Ladder theory" point that men and women can still be friends...

Well it is possible for a man and woman to believe they are friends, but then what is the basis for this friendship if the man is either friends with her because she is too low on his ladder to be a woman to aspire to sexually, or he simply settles for friendship as runner up prize because he knows that she is not attracted to him, but still aspires for something more because he finds her attractive.

edit: this comment is with regard to "ladder theory" only everyone because regardless of the theory, i enjoy the friendships i believe myself to have with many males, illusionary or not. I am simply interested in this as a sociological argument.

This is an interesting question, made more interesting by the fact that there are more factors in universal beauty, at least physical beauty, than most people are probably aware of.

It's said often that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, yet we seem to have an innate ability to recognize people that are physically beautiful, and these people always conform to certain standards. Now these standards aren't standards of fashion, rather they're mathematical standards.

There is a ratio Pythagoras discovered in ancient Greek times called the Golden Ratio, which he observed frequently in nature, in things that were pleasing to the eye, in things that were beautiful. That ratio was (approx.) 1:1.618
Michaelangelo later did the math on this and found this ratio expressed throughout the human body. If you're well proportioned, you can measure the distance from the floor to your navel, and then from your navel to your head. The ratio will be 1:1.618 The size of your finger bones closest to your knuckles are 1.1618 times the size of the next bone toward your fingernail.
This applies to a beautiful face as well, on a beautiful face the width of the mouth is 1.1618 times the width of the nose. In fact, the golden ratio applies so well to a beautiful face that a man named Marquardt constructed a facial overlay mask constructed from golden triangles and pentagons that will conform to about any face, so long as it's beautiful.

This is the mask itself:


And a few different applications on people thought to be beautiful.

Tom Cruise:


Marilyn Monroe:


Pierce Brosnan:


Sarah Jessica Parker:

She doesn't fit it quite as well as say Monroe, but she still fits into the beautiful range.


Marquardt theorizes that we have the ability to recognize a beautiful face as a kind of archetype, as an ideal human face. We tend to be very visual animals, and as such we recognize members of our own species visually, kind of the way dogs identify each other by scent. Our face is the greatest advertisement we make to each other within our own species. By looking at it we can make instinctual inferences on a person's health, age, symmetry, and proportion, all of which are linked directly to how beautiful a person appears to be. Someone who is well proportioned will have a well proportioned face, as per the golden ratio. Someone whose face and body is more symmetrical, even by just a few millimeters, tends to be healthier and in some cases more athletically capable than someone who is less symmetrical. Those that are youthful, and hence more fertile, will have full hair, full lips, clear skin, etc. And of course, all of these things are meant to advertise on a very primeval level: I'm young, healthy, and free of physical defect--I have good genes, mix yours with mine. This also explains why we have a revulsion toward faces we find ugly, faces that are not symmetrical or deformed indicate infection, disease, or genes present that we probably don't want to propagate.

It's interesting just how much our lives and behaviors are so connected to an explanation of nature.


Marquardt's website

Fascinating! And the science behind the reasoning of why we are attracted or repelled by another does make sense to me. Thanks for sharing this with us, arcman!

I still dont think its a science rather a personal taste and like the want of a good spouse to raise kids with.

It's your basic biology, dude.
You may have different tastes for ancillary traits like hair color, eye color, height and body build, but in terms of base physical attraction, people who conform to the "beautiful" archetype are healthy, young, well-proportioned, and symmetrical. Remember we're talking purely about physical attraction here. Based on physical attraction the people who are likely to have desirable traits or good genes have a greater chance of propagating than those that have negative traits or faulty genes.

EDIT: And you're more than welcome, Mara.
If you ever get a chance, I got a lot of this from a documentary that was done between the BBC and TLC called "The Human Face". It was hosted by John Cleese (of Monty Python) and Elizabeth Hurley. Very informative, and quite entertaining if you can ever catch it on a re-air.

Attractive: Tall, dark hair, blue eyes, nice smile, whiter than white teeth, a five o' clock shadow, thick dark eyebrows, tanned skin, hairy tummy, cute butt, short to medium short hair, kind of ruggid looking, well dressed and smelling yummy.

Good personality, sense of humor, smart, kind, honest, sincere, sexy and witty. Confidence is good too, that's sexy in itself.

My other half: Tall, brown hair, sincere blue eyes, nice smile, er, five, six or seven o' clock shadow, lol thick brows (no unibrow), tanned skin (half of the time), hairy tummy, cute butt er, medium short hair, rugged looking, sometimes well dressed and sometimes smells yummy (he works HARD, lol give him a break!).

Good personality, sense of humor. smart, kind, honest, sincere, sexy and witty. Confident, but not in that false confident arrogent way. He has a firm handshake, looks people in the eye, and when he talks he says it like it is. That kind of confidence, like he knows his strengths and weaknesses and he's just sure of his abilities.

Okay so. I don't know if I wrote the attractive qualities because I'm crazy about him and he's all I'm attracted to or if he really did happen to fit perfectly into my perfect mold. WEIRD! Even more weird is the fact that we've been together for 19 years and he's still the only guy on my mind.

Anyway, he always say that he's the beast to my beauty but I disagree. He's beautiful outside yes, but inside he is the MOST beautiful person I have ever known and he is a much better person than I am. He's so kind, sincere and he's absolutely honest to a fault. He's not much with words, not very romantic at all but what he lacks there he always makes up for with kindness and sincerety. And he would never say something like he likes me because I cook and clean. Eeeks, thank god! Like cooking and cleaning is something all women should strive to be good at. Oh and for some reason EVERY ELDERLY LADY LOVES HIM! Whats that about? We drive down the street and I swear they line up and wave at him. LMAO Total strangers! What gives?

Thats a lovely Story 'yoopergirl'.You can count yourself very lucky,you have found Mr Right.Not everybody is so fortunate to experience Real Love.Old Ladies are not fooled easily,and they can spot a kind Man a mile away,believe me. Thanks for sharing it with us.

What I find attractive - Yul Brunner pretty much sums it up.....yup, yes indeedidoo. Very nice......

I do love a man with a sense of humour, sensitivity (when its needed), knows when to be quiet(IMG is there such a thing!!), strong - physically, mentally and spiritually.


What's unattractive - spitting, snorting, bad teeth, bad b.o and a mullet or rat tail hairstyle.

Yes, I agree - it's beautiful how you feel about your dear man, yoopergirl! I feel much like that about me too - and even after all these years, still get that tiny 'flutter' in the tummy when he walks into the room. Huge gentle smile.

And wow, how could I have forgotten to add that disgusting habit of spitting! Yes indeed, ghostwriter, it's horrible and actually should have been near the very top of my list - yuck and ugh! (Believe it or not, we actually have a law here against spitting on the sidewalks and streets - not that the law has any 'teeth' - but it was enacted to help prevent the spread of TB and other disgusting germs).

If the woman has a good enough personality, they're automatically attractive to me. But if I had to define preferences, I prefer physically strong women (far too rare in my opinion), smart, take of themselves and their things (other people's things too). I also don't like skinny women, they tend to be so weak and fragile, and it makes me cringe. But personality comes first, it truly is "it's not what's on the outside that counts".

Agree, it's not what's on the outside that counts,but whose to say the skinny Woman wouldn't have personality,and make the best Wife?I fail to see why a skinny woman should make you "Cringe"