forever and ever

unless the Eagles

drop a 'bomb'

on the sheets.

The next day

he went to

the dentist for

a real good

drilling of his

incisors and found

out that he

was no longer

capable of having

hard food unless

he took a

nitrous oxide blast

up his nostrils.

and his voice

blurred until he

passed out cold

. When he awoke,

he noticed his

left kidney was

on his right

and vice-versa whilst

he felt the

whole of his

esoterically arcane existence

fade before his

precious blue-vein cheese

In the meantime

thunder clouds were

menacingly rolling in

, then he heard

someone faintly calling

where are you.

He couldn't quite

grasp the meaning

, so he continued

to be a

nuisance and avoid

anything to do

Whoa, this story is getting long!!

Radium, hope you don't mind me as well, since the last update was a while ago.
Everyone else

The text I added in is in blue, so feel free to make any changes if you feel the need (I'm not very good with the paragraphing!).

Here goes...

**

Once upon a time there was a lobster man who had a house full of dirty laundry. So he took a lead pipe and beat his neighbor until the clothes drier buzzer rang and he remembered he had no clothes at all, and fled with his hands on his private parts in order to keep them from falling off in the ditch. He made sure he grabbed something off (which he put back on), and he realized was terribly on fire! He started running towards the Canadian Border where he immediately shot to death the first person who noticed that he was actually a ROBOT! He could not resist the temptation to make a beeline for the sandwich full of bacon, lotsa bacon.

While eating it, he realized that he forgot his cheese and he turned around and stole some from the first person who remarked that "My cheeses pleases." To his suprise, when he was on his way to an elderly home, he was thinking about a new way to get to the next level of Dante's Hell. So he tried taking a drink from Tequilla bottles with his hand wrapped around a stick he brought to his head while he searched for the thing he had forgotten to remember. In the meantime at a ranch, Uncle Joe wondered whatever happened to his forgetful nephew who was last seen during Christmas celebrations at the local bar?

The unfortunate nephew had too much milk since he had an awful severe lactose intolerance. He spent the money on frivolous gadgets that he thought were cool for doing the most inane things. At the same time he was working on a project that he made with Yak, who was a talking Tibetan critter that had a passion for cheesemaking. He also created the finest brand of Scotch Whiskey, which he tasted to his delight, and went on a wild drinking spree where he made a complete recovery from a drunken night out with a cup of black coffee and a bagel. <With> The bottle still by his feet, <a> very strange looking thirsty vagrant approached when he suddenly reached down; and with his eyes glued on the window where he spotted one more loner who was lonely just like he was in the same unfortunate situation that he had been before. So, he offered him some words of encouragement and while looking at the near empty glasses he made, he felt somewhat hungry for some of those amazing cheesecakes which he could still taste from yesterday.

So, he rummaged for the cheesecake and thought of his new friend standing over on his two feet. While licking his lips, he imagined he <had> the finest cheesecake money could buy. However, just as he found his grandfather watch fob, he noticed that he didn't have enough time to wonder what happened to the only person he thought would be there. He therefore went to the phonebooth and dialed the number for Dominos, but alas, he called the Whitehouse, and the president's personal chef asked, "How did you know cheese was on the snackbar?"

Lobster man replied, "I am a bit confused, but perhaps you could help me out and send over two very fine special agents, who know their cheeses so well that they can smell when they open from where the different varieties are stored under lock and key, preventing it from doing the most disasterous, which then dropped the biggest stench of Limburger imaginable in his frontyard." He screamed, "Oh, where are the Ritz Crackers and spreaders! Oh noes!"

He began to tremble with excitement, and started looking amongst the other boxes around his humble dwellings for his collection of cheeses, which he remembered he put in the bathroom, so he could wet them while he waited for his meal to be delivered by Pizza Hut. When he opened the door, he saw his ex standing there in only 2 pieces of paper, and she pulled off the hair on her arms and back. She felt the pain of rejection and the sense of urgency because her ex, Lobsterman, was standing right next to him, smiling viciously at the last piece of cheese which was very, very stinky, and moldy, to the extent that it spread and therefore was identified as being a threat to National Security.

Just when he was about to grab a knife to cut open the big bag of crackers to go to the park, he realized that whatever he saw was not what he expected. What he saw brought great surprise to nobody there, since he was hidden by shadows. He pulled out into the darkness and thought of anything but cheese, which made him head straight for the bathroom, which was already occupied by someone and a strong smell made him puke so much he could fill the bowl, and then some, but he decided not to make use of the spatula that he used for hitting to clean the sink, which he always made a habit of while he brushes his cheese bowls and thinks of his great life before he went to hell and back. Although the advice he got from his psychic adviser told him to stay at hell and never return, forever and ever, unless the Eagles drop a 'bomb' on the sheets.

The next day he went to the dentist for a real good drilling of his incisors and found out that he was no longer capable of having hard food unless he took a nitrous oxide blast up his nostrils and his voice blurred until he passed out cold. When he awoke, he noticed his left kidney was on his right, and vice-versa, whilst he felt the whole of his esoterically arcane existence fade before his precious blue-vein cheese. In the meantime, thunder clouds were menacingly rolling in, then he heard someone faintly calling, “Where are you?” He couldn't quite grasp the meaning, so he continued to be a nuisance and avoid<ed>(?) anything to do.


Angrily, the voice

in his head

screamed, "Come into

the plasma vortex

and give me

the gigawatt capacitator

so I can

stink up the