i agree completely. i use myspace, and it isn't as dangerous as it would be otherwise as long as you know WHO you're adding. i have relatively few myspace friends, and that's good, because they're all friends from school or other places and i know them. also, it isn't required that you give out your personal information on myspace, so i don't think that that would be a direct concern.
the most dangerous thing i think, are "whore trains." i don't know if they're known on bleeping computer, but they're basically lists (that can contain hundreds or thousands) of people who just want to bump up their "friends" count, and you add them as you please, without knowing if they're really who they say they are. common bulletins on myspace are "ADD KELLY - SHE HAS SEVENTEEN THOUSAND FRIENDS!" or "ADD YOURSELF TO THE WHORE TRAIN - TEN THOUSAND MEMBERS SO FAR!" also, "whore me" bulletins are posted a lot. this is basically asking you to ask all of your myspace friends to add this other person, so everyone has another friend, and so and and so forth. its mostly just a bunch of people who think that they're popular because they have twenty thousand myspace "friends" (even though they really only know about one hundred of them) but you never really can tell who else is in those lists.

my two cents: myspace is a perfectly friendly place as long as you know who exactly you're coming in contact with, and not giving out a tad too much information.

I do apprieciate everyone's points of view but....

Actually this topic was intended to inform parents on the possible dangers that
their children could face, if they held any social networking accounts.

Topic title: Why Parents Must Mind Myspace, Attn: All Parents!

The problem is that very young children open such accounts. Children that are not mature
enough to protect themselves while online, or educated and monitored.
Additionally there are older kids, that do not think before they act.
This all boils down to the responsibility of parents, becoming aware
of their kids online activities. That and striving to teach and inform children of what dangers may
lay in wait for them, if they open any social networking account,
would help immensely to prevent children being harmed.


I never said that all children/kids that have such accounts would be molested.
But... the chances are much higher if children and parents are not educated in
online safety measures. It is a known fact that predators open social networking accounts
purposely, to troll for unwary naive' children.

What I find interesting about the opinon's expressed in this topic is that those who defend and
try and discount the dangers on such sites, are in fact young themselves. Having never had any
children of their own. For the most part once an individual has a child, their outlook on the world
around them changes, youthful opinions expressed often fall by the wayside. For they are not thinking
as a kid any longer, but as a (hopefully) adult responsible for a young life.
Teaching, caring for, protecting, instilling values, ethics etc. is THE responsility of parents.

That being said "My Space" itself is aware of the dangers that children may face while online,
interacting with other's who are complete strangers.

Besides what ever happened to teaching children to not talk to strangers???

Sadly enough ignorant parents, in turn raise ignorant children.

MySpace.com adding security measures

One more thing for all of you who do have social networking accounts. Be careful of what you put online,
for it could possibly effect your future. It is all fun and games untill, you are out in the world beginning
your life and career......

Myspace is just a bunch of people who think their all that getting together to discuss things. Well their not all that! In fact, myspace is so out of control, their being sued! So much for the website being 'a place for friends'. ....

I completely disagree. I know many of my friends that have met other people w/ similar interests (music, lifestyle, sports). Many, MANY people use myspace with absolutely no problem, scandal, or illegal activities involved.

So, to say that "everyone on myspace is delusional" is incorrect. It's the idiots that are exploiting and abusing the networking abilities that are giving it a horrible image.

10 Essential Tips for Parents

1. Don't frobid internet use; in all probability, your kids will defy your ban on the sly.

2. Filtering software won't block all dangers your kids face on the Wb, but it's a good start. Also visit sites with your child whenever possible.

3. Inderstand the technologies: Take a class, check out the Web resources listed on page 94, try the sites yourself. The more you know about the internet, the better you can talk to your kids about it.

4. Place the computer in a common area of your home; kids won't expect privacy there.

5. Talk to the parents of your child's friends; most kids use computers at friends' homes.

6. Teach your kids the "embarrassment rule": THey should never post anything they wouldn't want everyone to read.

7. Tell them to be careful about what they post in regarding other people. Predator-friendly information is often left by friends posting comments.

8. Let your child know that it's important to tell you if he or she is ever approached online or receives inappropriate content.

9. Look for red flags that your child is in danger, such as minimizing a browser when you enter the room, and getting phone calls from people you don't know.

10. If you think there may be a problem, report it to authorities and also to your Internet service provider.

From July 2006 PC Magazine



from page 94:

64% of parents with online teens say that there are rules in their home regarding the timing and duration of Internet use. (Source: Pew Internet & American Life Project, 2004)

71% of teen sreveived messages online frmo someone they don't know. (Source: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and Cox Communications 2006)

64% say they do things online they don't want their parents to know about. (Source: Pew Internet & American Life Project, 2004)

14% of teen shave met face-to-face with a person they had known only through the Internet. (Source: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and Cox Communications, 2006)

One out of five teens reported that it is safe to share personal information on a public blog or social networking Web site.(Source: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and Cox Communications, 2006)

45% of teens ahve been asked for personal information by someone they don't know. (Source: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and Cox Communications, 2006)

79% of online teens say teens aren't careful enough when sharing personal info online. (Source: Pew Internet & American Life Project, 2006)

87% of teens age 12 to 17 use the Internet in some aspect of their lives. (Source: Pew Internet & American Life Project, 2006)

Defn.: "Cyberbullying" is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet. (Source: stopcyberbullying.org)

20% of 8- to 18-year olds have a computer with Internet acces in their own room. (Source: Kaiser Foundation, March 2005)



In addition:

A Predator's Path

Amanda's MySpace page looks innocuous enough: She posted her first name, her school and interest. She writes a lota bout how her parents and teachers just don't understand her.

A predator draws a conclusion: Amanda just might be on the high school's softball team. He Googles* the high school, finds a photo of the team--and recognizes her. He now has Amand'a last name.

The predator heads back to Google: He enters her full name and her school name, and finds a local newspaper story about a fund-raiser Amanda's father spearheaded for new equipment for the softball team.

A new Web search: Google provides the predator with the addresses of all the Alfred Simpsons in the city. Only one of the dozen listings is near Amanda's school. They predator now knows where Amanda lives.

From here, the predator is home free: He knows where to find her. Striking up a conversatoin-say, on a softball field-won't be a problem. Neither will be gaining her trust. He can say all the right things-like how his parents never understood him, either.

In a short time, the predator has contacted Amanda: The e-mails and IMs are harmless enough, and Amanda's new friend is always so friendly and reassuring. Finally, Amanda thinks, there is an adult who understand her.

The messages are getting a bit explicit: Amanda says so, and the predator tones things down. He sends her a new softball glove, too. When the messages get sexual again, she figures he's right, everyone does talk about-anddo-this stuff. So when he suggests they meet up, she thinks: Why not?

*PC Magazine picked Google for the example, however you can use any other search engine to do the same.

It would seem that the predators are now the prey:

Interesting Story

That's awsome. Now predators have to be careful who they try to trick.

Well, i wouldn't necessarily call it "awesome"..... Just goes to show that not everyone that wants to break the law on myspace is a pervert.

I won't tell anybody what to do, but personally being in the position of a teen with a myspace account, I will go through some of the problems and security measures I notice.

I have a fair number of friends on my account, and I know every one of them personally, and use myspace pretty much for the sole purpose of communicating with my friends. I post an occasional blog, but any blog that contains any personal information about me or any one of my friends is accessible to my friends only. For security purposes, I have been somewhat cryptic about my personal info in the publicly visible parts of my page, and, like several of my friends, have altered my name and other personal info. My friends also tend to be somewhat security conscious, some only allowing friend applications from people who know their last name or e-mail address (not a very solid defense, but the real defense comes in allowing/denying friend requests), and one of my friends has even set her entire account to be visible only to friends.

Several of my friends have recognized a problem with themselves: they are "addicted to myspace. Mostly, this involves hours of following up on surveys, usually posted in bulletins (general messages visible to all of the poster's friends) and blogs. I have heard them go on and on about this, and when asked how I avoid their problem, I respond that my family has dial-up internet access, a single phone line, and a computer in a central location, so 1) it's difficult to get on the internet unnoticed, and 2) there is an urgency to get off as soon as possible because we don't have call waiting or similar features. With this constraint, I do not have time to respond to the ever-increasing pile of surveys that all my addicted friends fill out. I have had a few friend requests from people I did not know, and in each case, I sent a quick missive explaining that I didn't know who they were and that I was denying their friendship request.

I understand all of the security risks involved with identity theft, internet predators, etc, because I follow the news carefully. I would suggest this, more than anything else, as the best way to protect teens: keep them informed. If you see an article that reinforces your point, you can tell your teen to read the article. The surest way to keep teens from getting into trouble is to be vigilant as several posts on this forum have suggested, but 1) this is not always possible and 2) there are several arguments against it. Most of my friends don't have extremely-vigilant parents, but have been raised in a virtuous environment. The important thing is that most of my friends and I are conscious of the dangers. Being so, we are much more responsible concerning our behaviour, and responsibility is one of the great life skills. You can parent however you want to. I'm just mentioning what works in my case.

Hello.

I find it hard to believe that so many posters here think that good parenting means absolute control over every aspect of a child's life.
FYI I am a 16 year old guy, fortunately with non-controlling parents.

Keep in mind when you block all those web pages that when your children DO leave home, they WILL have to deal with the real world.
If they have never had freedom and therefore do not understand it, how do you expect them to safely deal with it?
The pet analogy is particularly apt in this case.
Your pet lives inside where there is no danger (because you want to protect him). All his meals are provided, and he does not have to do anything for himself.
Now set him free in the wild (maybe he ran away). What happens?

He doesn't know how to defend himself.
He doesn't know what he can eat.
He doesn't know how to get at what he DOES know he can eat.
He doesn't know how to deal with anything new.

Your pet is quite likely to be killed.

Your child is not much better off.
He is at home. There is no danger on the computer, outside, or anywhere he goes, because he is always supervised. He has no exposure to drugs or alcohol.
Now you put him in a college setting.

He doesn't know how to deal with being hurt.
He doesn't know how much he can safely drink (believe me, he WILL drink at college).
He doesn't understand why it is unsafe to do certain things on the web.
Basically, he doesn't know how to make good decisions. You've made them all for him.

I'm not saying that you let him do whatever he wants. Of course a measure of control is necessary, because otherwise, your child wouldn't survive.
But he also needs some freedoms. Otherwise, he won't survive.

Children need to learn how to think for themselves and make decisions for themselves. You are not letting them.
They do not need to learn that Mom thinks alcohol is bad so they shouldn't drink in her presence.
They need to learn that alcohol is bad because it makes you do dumb things and it makes you sick (short-term and long-term).
They need to learn this FOR THEMSELVES.
I know you want to teach them things that you had to learn "the hard way," i.e. for yourself.
But if they skip the hard part of learning things the hard way, they will not remember it.

There of course still need to be consequences for illegal and immoral (iffy...) actions, they should in many cases be REACTIVE, not PREVENTATIVE.
You stunt your child's growth when you prevent him from having an experience.

With regards to the statement that "you are responsible for your child's actions" and the idea that therefore they should not be allowed to performany actions:
Shame on you. This attitude of yours is selfish and unhealthy for you child.
Because you are afraid of being punished, you deny them the ability to learn from their mistakes.
They're not allowed to make mistakes in your household.
How is anyone supposed to learn if they can't learn from their mistakes? How does one know what's right (referring to non-moral issues, here) if they don't experience wrong?

To summarize:
-Children need to learn to make good decisions.
-People learn to make good decisions by recognizing good and bad decisions.
-If they are not allowed to make bad decisions, they cannot recognize them in the future.

I apologize for the original nature of this post. I was already upset and it was late at night.
Modified but not deleted because I think my points are still valid.


Wow guys. My (very) bad for not checking post date before I posted.
Very sorry for reviving 2-year-old thread!
That's what I get for rampaging at 3 in the morning -.-;

I've grown up in a house where we never believed in content filtering or using a server program to see what we do online. Instead we have always been well supervised and given ground rules. We are also trusted.

If you don't trust your children online or are worried that they might get themselves into some sort of trouble, keep your computer in a space where you can see it and NOT in a confined space like a bedroom or an office! That way you can always check on your kids without them feeling uncomfortable that you're secretly watching or that your busting in on them every 10 minutes to see what they're doing.

Don't ban your kids from MySpace, MSN, Bebo, AIM etc because they will think they don't have your trust and might possibly use it behind your back. Let the kids know that they can use these networks but tell them to never give out any private details like phone numbers, addresses, IM addresses, last names or where they go to school or hang out.

Parents should know that there are many other ways for a kid to use social networks. They could go to the library, use them at a friends place or find a way to bypass whatever it is that your using to spy on them.

Parents should keep an eye on their kids when they're online but parents should also realize that content filtering is making your child feel like s/he has lost your trust. The use of social networks like MySpace are very common and are the thing to have!

Times are changing! Kids don't want to talk on the landline these days, they want to text, IM and MySpace their friends! By "spying" (or *cough* responsible parenting *cough*) on your children. Children should be able to live and not be treated like they're doing something horrible by just using the computer.

I'm not giving a biased opinion since I am just a kid myself. I see it from a parents point of view (hence, me mentioning on keeping a proper eye on kids).


Just a thought guys