a reply to myself (how weird?) and to others who may have read this and wondered what would help. I tried 4 different clients. the ONLY easy, yet secure, (3des encryption, and sha-1 authentication with PFS) free client that was literally seconds to configure was "securepoint personal firewall", it has built in VPN and IPSEC configuration policies. i turn the firewall off, but the VPN configuration was a cinch. it can be downloaded here
http://www.securepoint.cc/ for all you VPN'ers!